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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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Parenting: I look like Death……

My home looks like it was ransacked by aliens, my skin is pale, the laundry basket is neglected and is shouting its annoyance by allowing underpants and uniforms to spill out under the lid and thus mocking my incompetence.  Last nights dishes are still piled in the sink growing a soft covering of fur on the remains of that evenings ready meal.  The baby is sporting the heavy nappy look as I try to imagine contemplating the task of changing her and the twins look like they have been dueling with the Gruffalo as their faces assume a bruised look from the remains of yesterdays face painting.

Egg shells are scattered all around me, but the twins seem to delight in stamping on them thus summoning my inner demon who quickly bursts from my throat with a roar.  I hear them run away giggling and calling ‘mummy’s grumpy.’  The demon retreats but is waiting, ready for the next moment that she will need to shout again.

I look like death, blue circles outline my eyes edged with three-day old mascara, cracked glasses replace my usual contacts, and my hair is styled by a scarecrow.

What has happened?

What has caused this descent into madness?

I will tell you…..

Sheer. Bloody. Exhaustion.

I am knackered, I could sleep for a week – but since that is not an option I have to just cope with grabbing five minutes on the loo at set periods through the day.

I require eight hours sleep a night, minimum.  I can manage on seven on occasion, but anything with a six or less in it; that is tantamount to torture.

In three days I have had twelve hours….

Work ate up one night in a great big gulp.

Dancing and drunkenness swallowed the next night whole.

And last night’s sleep was stolen by a teething baby with a breast obsession.

I miss it, I crave it, my unmade bed calls to me like a siren from the sea.

The nanny dog takes her day off on a sunday which leaves me with only he who helped create them to turn to, to grant me permission to return to slumber.

But do you know what?

Did you hear the rumours?

Its bloody fathers days so he gets to sleep.

So to he who helped create them – I wish you a happy day – but as I am a realist I would like to take this opportunity to pre warn you that it could be a stinker!

Comments

  1. alittlewife says

    June 19, 2011 at 7:45 am

    I hope someone tames the grumpy beast with a cuppa and a opportunity to nap!

    Reply
  2. scribblingmum says

    June 19, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Oh that’s total shit pants, I send sympathy. Put on a dvd, let the kids bring their blankets down and see if you can grab 10 mins all lying on the sofa? Grim, I do hope it improves…. X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 7:47 am

      Ha! thanks – and can you believe i was stoopid enough to put a tv ban on today!

      Reply
  3. ali says

    June 19, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Hope your getting the rest right now,
    My downstairs loo is still the calmest room in the house with lots of nice things in it, where I used to get my 5 minute break too !!!

    Enjoy your day in slumberland 🙂 Father’s day (!) I think that is going to be next week isn’t it 😉 !!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 8:21 am

      HMMMM – the bed has been made the washing is up for a fight….

      no rest for a mother!

      Reply
  4. PoorParenting says

    June 19, 2011 at 8:07 am

    Here’s to abetted night tonight…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 8:21 am

      I am going at 7!

      Reply
  5. Emma-Jo says

    June 19, 2011 at 8:25 am

    This made me smile so much, because it’s exactly how I am feeling! Brilliant!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 8:35 am

      knackered mums of the world unite!

      Reply
  6. mothersalwaysright says

    June 19, 2011 at 8:57 am

    You could always try the trick my dad used with me:
    “Let’s play a gamne called 40 winks – you have to blink 40 times and the winner is the person who can keep their eyes closed the longest.”

    Helped him on many a tired occasion. I was only about 12 when I realised the trick!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 9:04 am

      Just tried it; bb was rubbish at it!

      Reply
  7. mummymummymum says

    June 19, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Can you and BB have an afternoon nap while the twins go and do some Daddy bonding in the park? x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 11:17 am

      Sob; making sunday lunch for friends…

      Reply
  8. helloitsgemma says

    June 19, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    aaaah….. I hope you are in bed and not reading this. Leave the rest of the stuff (HWHCT can do it tomorrow or you can do it tomorrow night). Good luck with the sleep this week – I need you on top form for next weekend!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 7:01 pm

      Don’t Ye worry Lassey ill be good

      Reply
  9. helloitsgemma says

    June 19, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Loving that even though you are trashed instead taking a break and gazing into space you blog it!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm

      Dude its all about the blog….

      Reply
  10. Mcai7td3 says

    June 20, 2011 at 6:06 am

    Ahh did you get a better night last night?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 20, 2011 at 6:54 am

      Oh my lord. Ten hours.. I am a new woman…..

      Reply
  11. Kizzy says

    June 20, 2011 at 6:15 am

    Well put. Feel exactly the same! Love your blog and your style of writing, hope. to say hi on Saturday.

    Reply
  12. Muddling Along says

    June 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    I hope you’ve managed to get some sleep – doing without it is the worst thing (even when self inflicted)

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      I got ten hours on Sunday it was heavenly x x

      Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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