It’s done, it’s over and the relief on my offsprings faces is more than apparent.
Santa has sodded back off to Lapland and is currently detoxing after consuming an almost deadly excessive mix of whiskey, beer, milk and cookies, mince pies, and biscuits all in one night and Rudolph is laid in the stable surrounded by glowing orange piles of reindeer poop as the elves have thrown a revolt and refuse to clear up his carrot infested shite any more.
Meanwhile back in my home in sympathy with the elves the children have set fire to the nice list and are cruising around the home like maddened animals. My simple threat of ‘Santa is watching’ no longer has any impact, in fact Twin Boy went as far to curse Father Christmas today by crying ‘Santa! Ha! he is resting up for the winter and has better things to do than to watch us for a while’ and so the anarchy has continued. They tear through the house leaving a trail of toys behind them, the TV seems to be stuck on some cartoon channel and to add to the horror the full collection of Disney songs booms out from the CD player.
I keep finding pine needles embedded in my toes and tinsel in my pockets, BB, just for fun, keeps studiously stripping the lower half of the tree and carefully leaves the baubles behind doors and on stairwells then sits back and waits for the action to begin, happily laughing as one of her beloved family either crack one underfoot and sever their nerve ends in their feet or merely just go arse over tit you’ve been framed style.
For me the realisation than Christmas is over means I have to adjust again to eleven more months of using a naughty step as a means of punishment and it just doesn’t carry the same weight as the words ‘but you will get NOTHING’ it also means that I must spend tomorrow night letting out the elastic in my trousers to ensure that I can encase my new body shape in clothes suitable for work.
The ho ho ho has left this house leaving in its wake two very loud children, one clever little baby and two utterly knackered parents. However as I write these words a slow smile snakes across my face, one that reaches to my eyes and sends a blossoming red glow across my cheeks, it may be eleven months till advent drops on us once more but it is only twenty-four hours until school starts again.
Sing hallelujah, we are saved, just one day left to struggle through until daycare starts again.
It feels like Christmas has come early already this year!