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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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Gin for breakfast?

Technically its not even school holidays yet; officially they start on monday but already I have that overwhelming urge to stick needles in my eyes that always seem to arrive with the holidays.

I wish I was a mum who enjoyed making things out of glitter and baking biscuits. But the harsh truth is I would rather slowly snip my toes off with blunt scissors that attempt a full on craft session with my four year old twins. Yet from somewhere my kids seem to have inherited the ‘make things’ gene. They seem not to notice the way my body involuntarily goes into spasm when they suggest cake making, or the way my eyes frantically start to dart from side to side and my mouth froths a little when play doh is dragged out of the cob web corner in the toy cupboard.

Ordinarily when school is open they can direct their artistic talents within the hours of nine to three but in the holidays its all about mummy and making things.

Now actually although my own craft skills resemble mister maker after fifteen pints I can colour within the lines and cut things out with skill. Twin boy can do neither of these without immense concentration and it drives twin girl to the brink of madness. This morning we all attempted to make nativity figures; I had a quick nip of gin in the kitchen with my tea to settle the nerves and joined my children who were embarking on ‘the battle of the yellow pencil’. This involved two treacherously balanced chairs, one pencil and two grabbing, screaming twins who were fighting for their lives. BB happily watched from her neutral swiss high chair keeping score as the other two wrecked havoc. Once this battle was solved after twin boy fell off said chair and twin girl ruled victorious the colouring commenced.

Twin boy started his wild colouring whilst twin girls cheeks went redder and redder and redder till she looked like a mad rose in bloom! ‘Mummy he’s out of the lines’ she shrieked. Twin boy gleefully continued smirking as he slowly drew a line out of baby Jesus crib into a passing shepherd. You could almost hear his thoughts:

‘You may have won the battle; but not the war little lady’

Only twenty days of holidays left…

Merry christmas one and all!

Comments

  1. Kylie Hodges (kykaree) says

    December 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    You have my children.

    I love making things, I bake, I sew, I craft. Give me a pile of cardboard, some glitter glue and a pile of old magazines I am happy!

    I love it all, fluffy pom poms, ribbons, coloured pipe cleaners….baking cupcakes and gingerbread, finding just the right sweet to make a button or a bow…..

    And funnily enough, my mum was like you! She did teach me how to pipe icing, she hated anything like that, but was quite good at it, so taught us all the things she didn’t like doing so she could put us to work.

    Play doh was the funniest though, you could see her reaching for the gin when we had it all over the table, in our hair, between our fingers etc.

    Reply
  2. theboyandme says

    December 18, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    I just know that I’m going to be the same & I’m a teacher. Glitter in the carpet!!!!
    The Boy got crayon on the sofa cushion earlier, I am actually surprisingly calm.

    Reply
  3. Kylie Hodges (kykaree) says

    December 18, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Ha ha Joseph has started writing on the walls with a wooden round shaped block!!! I think I’m going to have real wall art in a few years!!!

    Reply
  4. Anna says

    December 18, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Good luck – just keep the gin coming and you’ll be grand.

    Reply
  5. Katie says

    December 19, 2010 at 7:42 am

    It’s hard to let go of the tension – gin is a great idea! I’m fine with baking and making, it’s painting that gets my teeth on edge. It just gets everywhere no matter how prepared you are!!!

    Reply
  6. Jennykate says

    December 19, 2010 at 8:43 am

    I’m just the same when it cones to baking or making,I hate it,totally stresses me out,I try to avoid it at all costs!!

    Reply
  7. Helen says

    December 19, 2010 at 8:56 am

    I feel your pain, especially the fighting over the yellow crayon!! I actually think this is the reason people buy so much alcohol around Christmas, it’s not to celebrate, it’s just to make it to the other side!!

    Reply
  8. Cheeky Wipes Helen says

    December 21, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    My eldest is now 6 and a half and has finally (almost) stopped making me demented when attempting to ‘make’ anything. In fact, when surprised by a rush of christmas cards from our new neighbours, I set him down to make some to keep him occupied for a little while.

    Whilst they’re not works of art, it’s the thought that counts (isn’t it??)

    Give it a few years. Or fill your slow-cooker with mulled wine and keep it topped up until January….

    Reply

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