Technically its not even school holidays yet; officially they start on monday but already I have that overwhelming urge to stick needles in my eyes that always seem to arrive with the holidays.
I wish I was a mum who enjoyed making things out of glitter and baking biscuits. But the harsh truth is I would rather slowly snip my toes off with blunt scissors that attempt a full on craft session with my four year old twins. Yet from somewhere my kids seem to have inherited the ‘make things’ gene. They seem not to notice the way my body involuntarily goes into spasm when they suggest cake making, or the way my eyes frantically start to dart from side to side and my mouth froths a little when play doh is dragged out of the cob web corner in the toy cupboard.
Ordinarily when school is open they can direct their artistic talents within the hours of nine to three but in the holidays its all about mummy and making things.
Now actually although my own craft skills resemble mister maker after fifteen pints I can colour within the lines and cut things out with skill. Twin boy can do neither of these without immense concentration and it drives twin girl to the brink of madness. This morning we all attempted to make nativity figures; I had a quick nip of gin in the kitchen with my tea to settle the nerves and joined my children who were embarking on ‘the battle of the yellow pencil’. This involved two treacherously balanced chairs, one pencil and two grabbing, screaming twins who were fighting for their lives. BB happily watched from her neutral swiss high chair keeping score as the other two wrecked havoc. Once this battle was solved after twin boy fell off said chair and twin girl ruled victorious the colouring commenced.
Twin boy started his wild colouring whilst twin girls cheeks went redder and redder and redder till she looked like a mad rose in bloom! ‘Mummy he’s out of the lines’ she shrieked. Twin boy gleefully continued smirking as he slowly drew a line out of baby Jesus crib into a passing shepherd. You could almost hear his thoughts:
‘You may have won the battle; but not the war little lady’
Only twenty days of holidays left…
Merry christmas one and all!