Desperate in his depression he said…

Many moons ago, when BB was still a dream he who helped create them didn’t share with me and when twin girl’s hair still rested by her ears and twin boy was still lovingly referred to as a chatterbox rather than the boy who never stops talking, myself and my two (almost three) year old twins went out for the day.

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it was a mistake…

Couple of rookie mistakes today. The first was embracing the sunshine and swapping my trainers for open toed shoes; the second was trying to teach twin boy and girl how to roller skate alone in open toed shoes….

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a lost libido…

Lost: one sex drive

I have looked everywhere, under the bed, in the fridge, even in the garage and no success. I did manage to find a mouldy tomato, a long ago forgotten set of pyjamas and my collection of Bros Records but my sex drive remains hidden from view.

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Slapped in the face with a raw, wet kipper….

Dear teacher,

I feel we have formed a bond over the last five weeks and I can move past writing to you in diary form and just address you direct.  I am here as the ghost of school days future, appearing in front of you as warning to appreciate the present and don’t do as I did and waste the time you had.  You know how twin boy and girl went to stay with their nanny for two weeks and he who helped create them and I got to stay home alone with beautiful baby; well guess what I did? 

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