It set the tone for the day when you say,
“Alexa, morning.”
(remember – I have no adults here – don’t judge me)
And she replies,
“Sorry, I’m having problems right now, I can’t connect to the internet.”
Problems Alexa!
Problems!
We all have problem love…
I am running low on bread, chocolate, and patience.
Sanity is also on the almost out list, as in my diet and not drinking in the week rule.
Apparently it is Day 4 – feels like I am been living in this square box of a house for 4000 months.
The dog doesn’t even look forward to walks anymore, the pads of her feet are starting to wear thin as each of us eagerly grab the opportunity to get out of the front door.
Today started at 5.38am, when I was rudely awakened by a strangled cheap, as the demonic kitten was savagely murdering a bird on my bedroom floor. The kitten was making some gut wrenching threatening growl, and I was pinned to my bed in alarm – as I am blind as a bat without contacts and couldn’t quite identify where exactly the assault was taking place.
Eventually I had to do a naked lunge from my bed, where I felt the dying flap of a wing against my heel, then I threw myself towards the bathroom to retrieve my glasses – as the demonic kitten eagerly chased me, prize squawking loudly in his mouth.
It was like a scene from Freddy Kruger…. except with saggier bottoms and claws rather than knives.
The kids slammed bedroom doors, I squealed like a young lad who had got his first football in the knackers.
Carnage was the only way to describe the start to the morning.
Sad to say – the bird did not survive.
Plus side – didn’t need to feed him breakfast, which is a bonus as all the stupid fecks have started stockpiling cat food as well as loo roll.
Stay safe folks, stay home…
Don’t drink all the gin in week one….
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