To be honest, I probably don’t need to be posting daily updates on my blog.
But when the kid see me intently staring at the screen typing they presume I am working, and for the most part leave me be.
So, I’ll carry on.
It feels like a lifetime. I used up my hour outside with the dog by 9am, meaning the following hours have been spent in detention with my children.
My hands are so dry I could use them to file my toe nails. Every inch of the house looks like a savage tiger came in a wrecked havoc, and the dog has taken to howling at random times for seemingly no reason.
The cats have taken to wandering in and out whenever they like, putting two claws up to the stay indoors rule, but also pointing out they were bred for social distancing.
The kids – they eat all the time, and not one of them the same meal. I feel like a diner chef, turning out breakfast, lunch and dinner, and snacks every minutes. When they are hungry they are volatile – I have learnt quickly it is just not worth it.
Today I had a business call online with my client, and all three of them felt an urge to talk to me.
Not one of them wants to talk to me when I’m not on the phone, but as soon as I start an online chat or put the phone to my ear they all want to invade my space and tell me what their sibling is doing that I wouldn’t like.
Then the dog howls some more.
They have eaten all the biscuits – 4 packets in two days.
The penguins have all gone – and no one is admitting who ate them.
We had to have a counselling session at 11, to explain why going to the shop for a Freddo is not considered an essential trip – but man I would kill for a Freddo.
And did I mention my hands are drier than a nuns chuff….
They played outside today – we called it PE and I pretending I was a one of those mum’s homeschooling.
I made them wash up – I’ve told them it needs to be done instantly because dirty plates can breed Covid 19. I know it is not right to lie, but honestly, what is the point of a National Pandemic if you can’t manipulate it for your own purposes on occasion.
They cleaned out the shed – we called it DT.
And for the hours they have spent in front of a screen – yup – we are calling that IT.
Day 2 – smashed it mate!
Is it time for gin?