• Home
  • Work with me / About me
  • Disclosure
  • Terms/Privacy Policy
    • Cookie Policy
    • Website Terms & Conditions
  • Contact

Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

  • facebook
  • twitter
  • instagram
  • youtube
  • mail

Things I wouldn’t know if I wasn’t a parent to pre-teens

I consider myself lucky, I have not one child just going into the early stages of puberty but two.

Both genders in my twin couplet are in the pre-teens category, so I get to experience all the emotions and changes.

Lucky, lucky me.

Because there is so much in this world that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t share a house with preteens.

What I wouldn’t know

Yelling I love you at the school gates as they walk into class is the MOST embarrassing thing you can do to your child.

Not cuddling your child on the sofa when you are alone means you clearly don’t care.

The 15 age certificate on a movie means it is totally appropriate for 11 year olds.

Mentioning that your children once grew in your womb is grosser than mangy vegetables.

The time for conversations and updates about a pre teens life is strictly reserved for the hour after you have insisted they go to bed.

Boys don’t need to know about girls hormonal changes.

Girls think boys hormonal changes are hilarious.

Phones are not for calling or texting anyone you are related to.

Liking an offsprings instagram photo is awesome, commenting on it may cause them to look to put themselves up for adoption.

Having a parent who blogs and reviews holidays is amazing.

Appearing in photos on said reviews is completely unacceptable.

 

I would also be clueless about the following…

Board games are boring.

Family time is overrated (unless it is past bedtime.)

Every other eleven year old in the world has Snapchat.

Pre teens are not the result of sex between their parents, they were all immaculately conceived and brought into the world knowing everything, aged 11.

School discos are not for dancing, they are for standing.

Chocolate is a pudding and a snack.

Laces on shoes should be fastened at all times, and shoes should only be put on by bending the heels and ramming in one’s feet.

All clothes are dirty after one wear.

That wearing ripped jeans is something no woman over 35 should do.

That I have facial hair.

That my legs are spiky.

That I drink too much.

That I am way stricter that any other parent, ever.

That bike helmets don’t really achieve anything but bad hair.

and finally….

That I do not understand what it is like to be a pre teen.

They got one thing right!

 

Anyone else been taught life lessons from their more knowledgable than God children

 

Image courtsey of Shutterstock

 

Comments

  1. Mari says

    June 22, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    You had me smiling all the way through on this one Jane. My twins are 9 going on 29 and I am so uncool it is unbelievably embarrassing but hey ho, I get by and I do get the cuddles when I am allowed.

    Reply
  2. Adele says

    June 22, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    I’m just reading thinking this is all going to be here too soon!

    Reply
  3. Kim Carberry says

    June 22, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    hehehe! This made me chuckle. I have a 14 and 9 year old who know everything….My 9 year old still thinks I’m cool though. My teen not so much x

    Reply
  4. Jen Walshaw says

    June 22, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Yep, this is our house too. Although Mini never fastens his shoe laces! School discos are not for attending. Neither boys have a volume control, one of them “hates his life”, my washing pile is always huge, they both are soap dodgers and it is like they have turned into Kevin and Perry overnight!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      June 23, 2017 at 11:57 am

      We fasten the laces, then use the shoes like slippers….. ugh

      Reply
  5. MrsM says

    June 23, 2017 at 10:13 am

    My son was 12 two weeks ago. I could have written this post.

    Reply
  6. MrsM says

    June 23, 2017 at 10:14 am

    My son turned 12 two weeks ago. I could have written this post. Verbatim.

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      June 23, 2017 at 11:56 am

      fun isnt it! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Laura H says

    June 23, 2017 at 11:10 am

    My oldest is 18, my youngest is 10. Consider the entire next ten years a total learning curve the likes of which you have never prepared for. Oh how you’ll yearn for the simple parenting days of toddlers and the sleep/eat wars…

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      June 23, 2017 at 11:56 am

      this does not make me happy!!!!

      Reply
  8. Sarah MumofThree World says

    June 24, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Yes, yes and yes to all of these! I have an 11yo girl, plus a 13yo boy and a nearly 16yo boy.
    Don’t forget that sometimes clothes are dirty before they’ve even been worn if you accidentally pull them out of the drawer and can’t be bothered to put them back!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      June 24, 2017 at 11:29 am

      hear that sister!

      Reply
  9. Emma says

    June 27, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Love the shoe one, that drives me crazy!!! How did our kids get this old exactly????

    Reply
  10. Maria says

    June 29, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    This is hilarious and so true, the things we all have to look forward to with our children!!

    The ‘every other 11yr old has snapchat’ is also very poignant at the moment, how young is too young is something we hear parents talking about a lot!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 10,116 other subscribers

Categories

  • All Posts
  • BB's journey with DDH
  • Breastfeeding
  • mummyblog
  • Paleo / Crossfitting
  • Reviews / Featured Content
  • Travel / Out and About
  • Twin Girl and Type 1 Diabetes
  • Uncategorized

Tots 100

TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs
TOTS100

Search

Follow on Bloglovin

Follow on Bloglovin

Previously on northernmum….

Awards!

Tots100 MAD Blog Awards

Looking to Save Money?

Check out my thrify blog, full of ideas to eat and play well  – for less money!

www.fromspendingtosaving.co.uk

Northern Mum

Copyright © 2019 Northern Mum Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three
Site design with help from DigitalJen

Copyright © 2021 · Slush Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

SAVE & ACCEPT