It started off as any normal playdate….

It started off as any normal playdate.

Within moments the house was destroyed, school bags were tossed to the floor with reckless abandonment, shoes were flung to one side as if they had suddenly become made of molten lava.  The fridge was emptied in a moment and wrappers laid screwed on the floor.  The dog was wandering around with a look of bewilderment as the peace of the day had suddenly splintered into a million shards.

As I said, usual play date.

Of course the child who had come to play was immaculate in her behaviour.  Shoes were laid politely by the door, bag hung on a hook and a quiet request for a drink was made as soon as she could make herself heard over the din that was my youngest child.

They played, and I worked.

I worked in the way any self-employed, single parent, who works from home can.

I locked myself in a room, left snacks on the other side of the door, and prayed no one would hammer on the glass as I tried to speak to grown-ups in the working world.

The play date continued.

Food was consumed, again the visiting child ate everything she was offered whilst my own children suddenly became offended by food they have eaten since they were one.  The usual threats were proffered about lack of pudding, and the usual threats were ignored, all my kids know I will do anything for a quiet life.

The play date continued.

I gave up on work, the sounds of joy (manic screaming) from the garden, made it impossible to conduct any form of phone call with a person in a suit, so I went outside with my laptop and played around with emails.

The play date continued.

Then burst into song.

Libby and Joseph sitting in a tree

K I double S I N G

I smiled to myself, remembering how I sang the same song when I was a wee bairn.  Thinking how cute it was that my little one was starting to think about boys.

“We don’t actually kiss mum.” my youngest declared.

“That is something you do when you get married.” said her friend.

I agreed – no boy is kissing my daughter – ever.

Then my youngest turned to her friend and said,

“I know how it all works out,”

Then she burst into song.

Mummy and Daddy sitting in a tree

(you know this isn’t going to end well)

K I double S I N G

First came the twins, then came me,

Finishing off the family.

Then they split up

Followed by divorce.

Now Dad has a friend and mummy has me

Forever.

 

Then I spent 10 minutes reassuring the playdate not all marriages end in divorce.

Modern parenting.

And it would appear my life is going to spent tied forever to my youngest off spring!