It’s my birthday

It’s my birthday.

I was born 37 years ago today.  I don’t recall the time, I was clearly too busy being traumatised by flying through a birth canal and launching into a doctors palm.

37 years.

That seems like a long time when I say it out loud.  But truth be told I still feel as indesive as a 16 year old, my hormones never seem to settle down.  And it seems only minutes ago that I was at University, living a life full of baked beans and cheap beer.

I don’t feel 37.  My kids tell me I don’t look it, Molly says I actually resemble someone in their mid 40’s.  I have chosen to interpretate this that she sees me as mature for my years and full of wisdom…

I am starting to flirt with the milestone that is forty, tiptoe closer to middle age, and I know I must be aging as I am developing an all consuming obsession with flannel based pajamas.

And I have three kids, how the hell did that happen?

And life seems to be a topsy turvy,  I don’t have much of the stuff that I thought I would be now.  The life plan may as well be used for fire starting.

So I am a 37 year old Paleo eating, crossfitting, mother of three (two of whom have a penchant for collecting unique medical conditions).  How’s that for a label?

And I am still waiting to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I actually found myself googling “train to be a heart surgeon” the other day.  I worry about myself.

It is my parents I feel for.  They did everything right and yet still seem to have created me, the misfit, who never quite gets it right.  But I put my heart and soul into trying.

Except my children of course, me and he who helped create them made those guys pretty perfect.  (Let’s not reference the hips, the diabetes, the ears, the epilepsy and the pain syndrome – bubbles hurt when you pop them.)

So should I feel mature?

God – I hope not.

I am finally starting to feel a bit more like me, and I think maybe a misfit sums it up.

Knocking on 40’s door and finally figuring out who I am.  And my school report said I needed to learn patience…

I’m 37 today, am going out for drinks later, its student night in town, I am prepared to feel aged in comparison.  I will be kicking off celebrations with 37 burpees and a fair amount of weight lifting.

Not what I was doing last year.

Life has been so eventful over the last five years, I feel at time fate is taking the piss with what it lobs with force at my door.  But one lesson I have learnt is to not try and predict the future.  Just embrace and make the best of the present.

And I am putting my heart and soul into it.

So here I stand, 37 today, the kids are desperate for my tea party, I dont see that the anti aging cream I applied yesterday has made a change.

But it is my birthday.

So, let’s eat cake.