• Home
  • Work with me / About me
  • Disclosure
  • Terms/Privacy Policy
    • Cookie Policy
    • Website Terms & Conditions
  • Contact

Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

  • facebook
  • twitter
  • instagram
  • youtube
  • mail

I am an exceptional parent

Given the right children I firmly believe I could be an exceptional parent. I have read a multitude of books on how to be a fabulous mother and have the theory pretty much bang on.

I know to blame the behaviour not the child and in theory I can understand how this works but when my eldest offspring is found experimenting with what floats in the toilet bowl I can’t help but think I have given birth to a child with a devil streak rather than a child with devilish behaviour.

In theory I know shouting achieves nothing but a dependence on throat lozenges but in parenting practice it occasionally makes me feel a whole lot fecking better.

You see in theory I am perfect but I think I ordered the wrong kids to translate that into practice. It is like passing the written test of driving exam and then turning up for the big test to be confronted with a manual when you have only ever driven automatic before.

In theory I know not to rock the babe until she falls asleep but reality tells me if I don’t it could be hours before I fasten my lips round the glass of Pinot waiting for me downstairs.

I know sticker charts work, but frankly after six long, hard years of parenting I am bored shitless of making charts to stick stars on to reward them for eating a meal without stabbing each other with their forks. Why can’t they behave without the motivation of something to stick on my adult wall.

in theory I know an inquisitive mind shows a bright child, but in practice I am often found close to tears or gin when I get asked “why” for the fifty second time that morning.

I know I should stick to my guns and follow through and keep my punishments real; but still I hear myself cancelling Christmas, promising to leave them at their nanny’s and I also know deep in my heart if they keep on they will get their way.

Sadly they know this too.

But in theory I am the parent to talk to, just do as I say, not as I do…

Comments

  1. Michelle Twin Mum says

    September 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    Ohh I’m that parent too. I knwo exactly how it should all be! Maybe it is atin mum thing, as we are outnumerbered we do not have time to be perfect parents!

    Micb x

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      def a twin thing!

      Reply
  2. Fiona (@nlpmum) says

    September 3, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    Sounds like you have the theory licked 😉 Unfortunately it’s the kids who get in the way of putting it all into practice – they never seem to throw the tantrum quite in the way that it’s described in the book and their idosyncracies are sometimes just idiotic – my 7yo stood slap bang in the middle of a dog poo in his new shoes on the way to school this morning then chose to wipe said poo on his brothers tee shirt…… keep calm and carry on? I think not.

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      Nice!!!! x

      Reply
  3. teawithonesugar says

    September 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Christmas is already cancelled in my household, thank goodness for school starting back again this week

    Reply
    • jane says

      September 14, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      Your poor kids…..

      Reply
  4. Rhian @melbs says

    September 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    As an exceptional parent, any advice on biting?

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 6, 2012 at 11:34 am

      Lots! Twin Boy was a gnasher! Skype me x

      Reply
  5. The Mummy Blogger says

    September 4, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Love this post. It made me laught this week when Roo demanded 18 cuddlytoys go to go bed with and I informed her no she would be too hot, this resulted in a screaming match for ten minutes with her eventually calming down and getting into bed. Within 10 minutes I could hear ‘thud, thud, thud’ as the plethora of furry animals hit the floor and a shout of ‘yeah mum, you were right I was hot’. Needless to say I gave myself a smug smile, grabbed my glass of wine and sat back to watch some car crash TV on MTV

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      My kind of parentting~!

      Reply
  6. Julie says

    September 4, 2012 at 8:59 am

    I am that mum too! so gald its not just my kids that stab, scrape, pinch, pull hair and box each other – where did I go wrong? They are only 21 months and yet stronger than me! Definitely agree with Michelle Twin Mum – it is cos we are outnunbered – and they know it! #notsocutenow

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      It is a twin thing!

      Reply
  7. Actually Mummy... says

    September 4, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Hehe, I hear you!! I’ll see your floats in the loo and raise you potion-making in the sink 😉

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      Oh god we have those!

      Reply
  8. Middle-Aged Matron says

    September 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    Theory, in my opinion, is devised by people who’ve never had kids/who are too old to remember the reality or who’ve sent their offspring off with the nanny while they write their childcare manuals.

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 9, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      as always you are completly right!

      Reply
  9. Mrsshortiesmind says

    September 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I am one too! I live in hope that one day the correct children will be sent, so they will sit and eat quietly, will play nicely and do as they are told without making a fuss. In the meantime I am thinking of getting earplugs for the neighbours as I seem to be shouting a little too much.

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      September 6, 2012 at 11:23 am

      There are so many of us…

      Can you get my neighbours some too please?

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 10,117 other subscribers

Categories

  • All Posts
  • BB's journey with DDH
  • Breastfeeding
  • mummyblog
  • Paleo / Crossfitting
  • Reviews / Featured Content
  • Travel / Out and About
  • Twin Girl and Type 1 Diabetes
  • Uncategorized

Tots 100

TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs
TOTS100

Search

Follow on Bloglovin

Follow on Bloglovin

Previously on northernmum….

Awards!

Tots100 MAD Blog Awards

Looking to Save Money?

Check out my thrify blog, full of ideas to eat and play well  – for less money!

www.fromspendingtosaving.co.uk

Northern Mum

Copyright © 2019 Northern Mum Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three
Site design with help from DigitalJen

Copyright © 2021 · Slush Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

SAVE & ACCEPT