- There is little paintwork in the house that doesn’t have a handprint or crayoning on it.
- Your bin is overflowing with the hair you have yanked from your head.
- The remaining strands of hair on your head have turned a silvery grey.
- The carpet has turned from beige to a medley of colours from the play doh that has been embedded within it.
- The recycling box makes a clinking noise when it moves.
- Your powers of rationality have disappeared and you agree to anything for a moment of peace.
- The dust dominates surfaces broken up only by crude drawings of stickman and children’s names.
- The children have lost their ability to read or write but could pass an MA in children’s popular film studies and IT (Angry Birds).
- The Tesco Delivery man knows you by name and it has been weeks since you entered a supermarket without first downing a Valium.
Less than two weeks to go mothers…