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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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I wish I had been born an lesbian

I grew up with brothers.

Two of them; they were a pair, born within minutes of each other.  Their lives were purposeless until they were three when their mother gave birth to a bouncing beautiful baby girl.

Then they became united in grief for they were no longer the only children.  Upon the night of my birth they rose their pudgy arms to the sky, pressed their fingers together and swore with toddler determination that they would be forever tied together in a mission to destroy me.

Well that’s how I remember it anyway…

Living with boys has always been a challenge for me, if I had my choice I would have been a lesbian.  But my libido, on the rare occasion that it works (normally after reading fifty shades on the kindle pretending I am reading Tolstoy) seems to hanker after those who God blessed with an unattractive ‘extra’ bit.

Brothers were very little use to me when growing up.  They tore heads off my babies, savagely mutilated Sindy and buried alive my Barbies.  As I grew bosoms and discovered boys I stupidly hoped that having twin brothers older than me would give me access to top totty.

I was wrong.

It seemed that when my brothers bought their cool seventeen year old friends home their form of entertainment was to play a VHS from years before.  This video was filmed in my first teenage year at Walt Disney land and involved me wearing an orphan Annie frock, having corkscrew style curls and NHS specs. The audio is me singing perfectly out of key and my vocal cords collapsing on the final high note of Tomorrow.    It took years until I became immune to the sound of teenage boys falling on the floor laughing because of the sound of my voice.

So when I decided to have children I decided to have sisters. I made a deal with God at an early age and stayed away from all narcotics (almost – what’s legal in Amsterdam doesn’t count) on the basis that he would one day grant me girls..

I got my wish; I made sisters.

When BB went into spica I worried that both her brother and sister would resent everything they couldn’t do because of the cast.

Again my children astounded me.

Whilst at times they can make my ears bleed with their shouting and they can win Oscars for their ability for their dramatic skills never have they lashed out at their sister.

As BB tries to learn to master her legs it is her sister who hour after hour painstakingly holds her hand and teaches her how to walk.   Twin girl sees the fear in her sisters eyes and never let’s go of the tiny little palm that grips hold tightly.

My heart is set to burst when I see the two of them slowly moving along, words of encouragement from my eldest girl evoking tears from my eyes.

When seeing me, again, dripping water down my cheeks, twin girl, the big sister merely stretches out her spare hand and squeezes my bigger palm in hers.

“Don’t worry mummy” she says with a confidence I can only dream of “she will do it on her own one day, until then I won’t let go”

Till that day comes I have the pleasure of watching my two girls walking hand in hand, side by side, big and small walking tall together.

BB and Twin Girl: 8 weeks post spica : still not walking independently

 

Comments

  1. Helloitsgemma says

    June 28, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    *sobs*
    But your lesbian tendencies, porno reading material and ‘lost’ weekends in Amsterdam is probably too much information.
    Do you brothers read this? Is there a right of reply?

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      Never!

      Reply
  2. Emma @mummymummymum says

    June 28, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    I think I’ve spent most of this evening is tears.

    Gorgeous, gorgeous girls. xx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      Thanks emma x

      Reply
  3. Muddling Along says

    June 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Admittedly it may be the drugs or sleep deprivation but awwwwwwwwwwwww they are adorable those girls of yours

    Well done Mrs NM

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      could be the gin?

      Reply
  4. Circus Queen says

    June 28, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    Beautiful post and beautiful girls. x

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      Thanks honey x

      Reply
  5. Molly says

    June 29, 2012 at 5:21 am

    Crying. I put that older girl’s gorgeous nature down to her name. Obviously. Seriously though, you have a beautiful brood – and go BB with her walking!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      Not quite at Frogs level but give it time…..x

      Reply
  6. Ellie says

    June 29, 2012 at 6:37 am

    That’s lovely. But also even walking holding hands is great progress – bert isn’t even standing leaning on to me for more than a second 6 weeks post cast! Be very proud of her 🙂 xx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      I am Ellie and cant wait to see you update on Bert x x x

      Reply
  7. Kelly Wiffin says

    June 29, 2012 at 7:43 am

    Oh that video is amazing!

    *cries*

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      It is very cute

      Reply
  8. Anne-marie Frano says

    June 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

    I two grew up with twin brothers equally as evil. You did forget the good points… They made you tougher after suffering the abuse, and they never borrowed your clothes! And although my brothers could torture me relentlessly they would kill anyone who tried. Kinda like having guard dogs!!!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

      How do you know they never borrowed my clothes?

      Reply
  9. speccy says

    June 29, 2012 at 8:28 am

    *sniff*
    How wonderful; what a beautiful relationship.
    *sniff*

    50 shades- really TMI 🙂

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

      I am an out and out Christian fan!

      Reply
  10. Actually Mummy... says

    June 29, 2012 at 8:40 am

    grrrrr! Why can’t you just write funny posts??? I’m a wreck now, and I’ve got to go to school sports day with goosebumps and a lump in my throat! Dammit!
    xx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Reply
  11. HELEN says

    June 29, 2012 at 9:07 am

    you have a couple of gorgeous girls to be very proud of there
    xx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      Cheers helen and I am

      Reply
  12. Very Bored in Catalunya says

    June 29, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Aww what fabulous girls you have. Me and my own sister were never particularly close, reading this post makes me rather sad of that fact.

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      My brothers and I have got closer with age…

      Reply
  13. Older Mum (In a Muddle) says

    June 29, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    What beautiful girls you have. That post, even before I watched the video, made me cry. Girls rock!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks xx

      Reply
  14. Nikki says

    June 30, 2012 at 11:40 am

    How lovely. Your girls are lucky to have each other and you!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:12 pm

      I like to think so! xxx

      Reply
  15. Midlife singlemum says

    June 30, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Your 8 year old has the maturity and compassion way beyond her years. I have a lump in my throat after reading this. (I came via the Thinly Spread Linky).

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm

      Thanks – she is six – but will love being called eight! xxx

      Reply
  16. Chris at Thinly Spread says

    June 30, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    *gasps* *sobs* *grins*. God, kids are bloody fantastic aren’t they? Thank you. x

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm

      Yes totally!

      Reply
  17. Expat Mum says

    July 1, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Awww, how beautiful. I was thinking the other day that I bet my Queenager would have loved to have a sister, although there’s nothing I can do about it now. Your girls are very lucky to have each other and to have you!

    Reply
  18. northernmum says

    July 2, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Thanks – they are adorable I hope they always get on!

    Reply
  19. Mammasaurus says

    July 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    How lovely and how proud you must be of your daughters – and they you. And now I must alight as I too am welling up …

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      July 3, 2012 at 8:52 pm

      Aw xxx

      Reply
  20. Iota says

    July 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    I have two boys and then a girl. Sometimes I see her with friends, playing girly stuff, and wish she had a sister. Not just for the playing girly stuff, but for times like you describe here.

    Mind you, big brother aged 15 will read her a story and put her to bed if we go out and he’s babysitting. That’s pretty heart-warming. (We should go out more often – it never happens if we’re around.)

    Reply

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