Did I ever tell you about when we found out BB was coming?
August had been cruel, the memory of a miscarriage formed roots in our home, my womb ached with emptiness. They told us to wait, I didn’t want to. He who helped create them worried, could we face the loss of a baby again, were we strong enough, would another pregnancy unite or destroy us?
Four weeks had passed since I looked at a scan and saw a silent shadow. My desire for a baby had not disappeared with my loss, I needed this child, a feeling of incomplete was swallowing me whole.
We talked, we cried, we agreed to try again.
It was a bright September morning, the sun woke me before the twins had a chance. It was my birthday.
It was too soon to really know, far to early to take a gamble but desire to know drove me on. I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a test, the second in a packet, the first had told me my unborn sleeping angel was growing inside me.
It was too soon to know but I did it anyway. I placed the plastic strip of hope by the sink and walked away for three long minutes. I stared at my family whilst they slept, I adored them from a distance.
I returned to the sink, picked up the test and looked into the window.
It was the sweetest birthday present a mother could have.
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