Parenting: I am an terrible terrible mother….

The kids excitement was almost ridiculous, they fidgetted with suspense, whooped with daftness and continued to praise me for being the best mum in the world.

What were we doing?

Simply going to the cinema.

Advertising had done its trick and my children were in a frenzy about seeing the post feminist fairy tale that is Mirror Mirror.

I on the other hand was glum.ย  Owing to the recent hike in cinema prices I had to remorgage my house to purchase four tickets; but I had written it off as a small price to pay for my children’s happiness.

However I was increasingly reluctant to pay the equivalent of the rent on a small Chelsea based flat on popcorn and drinks.

I am not proud of the following confession, but I am skint, and I am sure when I meet my maker at the pearly gates I will have the following action high up on my list of sins.

Next to the cinema is a 99p store, sweets and treats for a fraction of the cinematic price.

I did it, I bought my own snacks to eat serrendipitiously during the film and then I hid them under a size 5 nappy inside my fake chanel handbag.

I tried to explain to the small ones without displaying that I was deceiving a national cinema chain.

I explained that we wouldn’t be buying popcorn at the counter because I had some in my bag but really we shouldn’t mention it when buying the tickets.

Sharp as a tack my six year old son exclaimed;

“Give em to me mum, I’m only six and I look so cute they won’t check my pockets!”

Faggin would be proud of the child I am raising…

 

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33 thoughts on “Parenting: I am an terrible terrible mother….”

  1. I never heard that it was illicit to bring your own food into cinemas. I’ll certainly do so next time. It was a fiver for a bag of popcorn and when I asked the till man how they dared charge such a sum he replied ‘Because they can!’

  2. Eh? Do people actually buy that over priced tat at the cinema? Are they crazy?

    We went to see that film today and it was ok. The other version of snow white later in the year looks really good though.

    PS was also mightily distracted by Snow Whites eyebrows. Was surprised they weren’t credited at the end.

  3. Hi
    We NEVER buy the overpriced, undersized, over sugared sweets/popcorn from the Cinema – we always take our own and my kiddies know to hide it or they get banned from the pictures!!! Bag searches have been done on the adults but are not allowed with the kiddies so my daughter takes her bag and we hide the sweeities in there. Your son sounds like a resourceful young man!!

    Helen x

  4. I too am guilty of the exact same, although we have never had bag searches done thankfully because I don’t conceal it very well in there! Thanks for the heads up though, next time I shall place sanitary towels on top ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Ok if you’re coming clean so am I. I confess that I put a selection of easter treats and haribo into 2 separate Plastic bags and took them to the cinema to see pirates last week. I was forced to explain to GG the difference between breaking the law and breaking the shackles of capitalism!

  6. What a clever boy. Its so expensive isnt it? I’ve often smuggled food into cinemas – my own popcorn, mintolas, water …….. otherwise on top of tickets you can end up paying over ยฃ20 per person.

  7. Oh, I have taken my own popcorn in for 5 kids before now! Not every cinema bans it but I like not to make it obvious. I’ve taken Starbucks in from a totally separate unit before now and not been surreptitious about it, let them try telling me I can’t have my caffeine fix!

  8. oh you are an amazing mum… taking your children to the cinema alone is deserving of huge praise… I have only ever tok mine once!! (they have been a couple of other times with friends but at tops my eldest has been 4 times in his ten years)
    but I don’t see the point in paying over the odds for the tickets, and food and what not to sit in a room for a couple of hours… would much rather put the money to other uses and wait for the DVD lol

  9. Hehee well done!! I once sneaked a whole McDonalds meal in. I’m really not sure how. I’ve also been in a cinema where I could smell some hot food and tried to look around to figure it out. It was kebabs!!

  10. oh my word it’s rough in your town. They search you before you enter the cinema??!!!

    I ALWAYS bring my own snacks – makes me less bitter if the film is then rubbish and I paid a FORTUNE for sweets.
    How was the film by the way?

    • film was rather good actually, and you live in the north – it is considered rude not to bring your own food isnt it?

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