The kids excitement was almost ridiculous, they fidgetted with suspense, whooped with daftness and continued to praise me for being the best mum in the world.
What were we doing?
Simply going to the cinema.
Advertising had done its trick and my children were in a frenzy about seeing the post feminist fairy tale that is Mirror Mirror.
I on the other hand was glum. Owing to the recent hike in cinema prices I had to remorgage my house to purchase four tickets; but I had written it off as a small price to pay for my children’s happiness.
However I was increasingly reluctant to pay the equivalent of the rent on a small Chelsea based flat on popcorn and drinks.
I am not proud of the following confession, but I am skint, and I am sure when I meet my maker at the pearly gates I will have the following action high up on my list of sins.
Next to the cinema is a 99p store, sweets and treats for a fraction of the cinematic price.
I did it, I bought my own snacks to eat serrendipitiously during the film and then I hid them under a size 5 nappy inside my fake chanel handbag.
I tried to explain to the small ones without displaying that I was deceiving a national cinema chain.
I explained that we wouldn’t be buying popcorn at the counter because I had some in my bag but really we shouldn’t mention it when buying the tickets.
Sharp as a tack my six year old son exclaimed;
“Give em to me mum, I’m only six and I look so cute they won’t check my pockets!”
Faggin would be proud of the child I am raising…
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