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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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The Death of a Hero…

It was like all hell had broken loose.  Mayhem had descended upon the car and I seemed to be leading it.

Only moments before the car had been a sanctuary of calm.  Twin girl was calmly colouring in the back, BB was rowing a boat to far off lands with a green squidgy teddy and twin boy was hunting for words beginning with ‘s’ in a mesh of letters in his activity book.

We were halfway from home en route to a day on safari, we were excited, we were smiling.

Then in a moment the smile faded.

“Mummy” twin boy cried. “I feel sick”.

I turned to look at my son and saw he was greener than a row of conifers.

Bugger, bugger, bugger.
We were ill prepared for vomit, no change of clothes, no carrier bags, no water and we were currently hurtling down a dual carriageway with no end in sight.

I am not ashamed to say I panicked.

I launched a packet of ready salted crisps at he who helped create them and told him to start eating to free up the bag, but as he shoved in potato slice after potato slice I could see it wasn’t going to be fast enough to compete with twin boys stomach.

I whirled around once more, terror visible in my eyes.  If that sick hit the floor the new car would smell forever more, if it hit his clothes the lions may set upon him in the safari park and then I would be a child down.  I considered the idea of removing my shirt to catch the offending liquid but wondered as to whether I would be allowed in the gates at Longleat Safari Park wearing only a brasserie or if they would just toss me in next to Annie the Elephant.

I heard the first gulp as the sick rose in his throat; “mummy” his eyes called to me.

“Don’t get it on your clothes” I screamed wildly.

Then without any thought to my own personal safety I wrenched off my seatbelt, sat on my knees and grabbed the first thing to hand.

A pillow…

Often used to rest ones head on we have been using a pillow to support BB’s legs in spica and it had just been promoted from comfort giver to life saver.

He hurled, he who created them swerved round a corner, I juggled and jiggled a pillow full of puke whilst all the time chanting “not on you clothes, not on your clothes.”. It was relentless, foul in odour and lumpy in texture it kept coming and coming.  I didn’t know if the pillow could take anymore.  I didn’t know if I could take anymore without sharing some of my own tummy contents.

Then it stopped.

The car ground to a halt, illegally in the bus stop of the number 42 and we leapt like laurel and hardy out of the car, I swept the tainted pillow off his lap in one smooth move without disturbing its contents.  Twin boy was lifted by he who helped create them to the side of the street where we checked he was empty and therefore allowed back in the car.

I wiped a tear from my eye,

That pillow was a hero, but it was beyond saving.  It gave its life so we could go on safari. That pillow had cushioned by head and sent me off to slumberland for years, but it was time to say goodbye.

RIP pillow, we will never forget you and what you did for us.

It is nomination time again!  Last year I was lucky enough to win the best MAD Blog about family life and this year it is time to vote again, if you enjoy reading northernmum please vote me to win in the categories you think I fit.  Nomination form is here ; takes five minutes to complete!  Thanks x x

Comments

  1. anna tims (@ageingmatron) says

    March 19, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Always keep a seaside bucket in the footwell of the back seat for eventualities like this. It has transformed the aroma of our Skoda. The only downside is the impairment to my dignity as I carry it brimming to the loos in motorway service stations. Can also recommend Lemon Sherberts as a prevention. More effective than tablets when sucked slowly.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm

      lemon sherberts?

      well you learn something new every day!

      Reply
  2. mothersalwaysright says

    March 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    I *was* eating a cake as I started to read this. Needless to say the cake has been left half eaten on the side. And it takes a lot to put me off cake…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      I am impressed with my own writing ability, I know it takes a lot of put you off cake!

      Reply
  3. Mum on the Brink (@mumonthebrink) says

    March 19, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    RIP pillow!
    Next time though, try switching off heating, opening windows in the car and getting ill child to put his/her hand out the window. If it is pissing down or absolutely freezing, then open window enough for child to put fingers out. It has saved us on many occasions with Little Miss… not all mind you!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      wise words! xxx

      Reply
  4. Teawithonesugarplease says

    March 19, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Arf barf your did good, sick smell never goes away once its tainted a car. I actually got rid of my last car because of the smell of sick!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      you are so posh!

      Reply
  5. jessiesonline says

    March 19, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    we have a lime green 50p Asda bucket somewhere in the car ready for moments like this…it has been very well used….you need to make sure you also have a supply of scented nappy bags in the glove box for swift sick bucket emptying…tie up the bag, slip over the handbrake & pop another bag in…we once had around 10 bags on the handbrake on the way back from Devon…unfortunately stomach acid eats through nappy bags so make sure you ditch them into a bin as soon as you can!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm

      A bucket – so simple but so effective,

      you are a genius I tell you

      Reply
  6. Lisa | Mama.ie says

    March 19, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Oh poor pillow! Your post has prompted me to check we have a supply of plastic bags in the car for future long journeys!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 20, 2012 at 7:59 am

      Very wise, ensure they are a reputable brand, if not you will discover pesky holes in the bottom…..

      Reply
  7. wibblywobbly says

    March 19, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Well done you! Good catch!
    Reminds me of a flight from San Juan to Miami. Youngest child ate a hot dog whilst waiting for our flight. 3 hours to the second later, as we taxied down the runway, all tightly belted into our seats, that look came across little boy’s face “I’m going to be sick”. Searching frantically through our three seat pockets I turned in horror and panic to my husband sitting across the aisle. Plane gathering speed and child’s vomit gathering momentum, he searched frantically too but to no avail. Not a single bloody sick bag on the plane. I grabbed the only thing available – an American Airlines blanket (whilst at the same time promising never to fly with them again) and thrust it infront of my stricken and mortified son. And then it happened – as we hit take-off, so did he! Once the seat belt sign was turned off I got the attention of a stewardess and rather smugly passed her the contents, suggesting that on the next flight they might entertain the idea of something more suitable! 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 20, 2012 at 7:58 am

      Did you invent sick bags on planes? Awesome

      Reply
  8. mother.wife.me says

    March 20, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Just leaving a quick comment before I rush to the toilet to puke, you brought that scenario to life on your blog sickeningly well (boom, boom tish)

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm

      Thanks (I think)

      Reply
  9. prestonprecious says

    March 20, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Who would of thought a pillow could be such a hero?! Time to make sure that I carry plastic bags with me 😉

    Reply
  10. Kelly Wiffin (@charliechinuk) says

    March 20, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Who would of thought a pillow could be such a hero?! Time to make sure that I carry plastic bags with me

    (please delete previous comment, have no idea why it logged me in to WordPress!)

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 20, 2012 at 7:23 pm

      Word press is having a tantrum I think!

      Reply
  11. The Mad House says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:50 am

    As a car sick child we never left home without an ice cream container and I am the same now. I have also had to just stop on a road so me (the driver) can be sick too!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      Oh Jen, I am sending sympathy whilst stifling a giggle!

      Reply
  12. helloitsgemma says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    jeez that’s awful. but WELL DONE! quick thinking prize for you. I would have hung him out of the window the care – not so good for traffic behind but hey they are behind…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 21, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      It smelt! badly, still does to be fair

      Reply
  13. Kate (@_katie_bailey) says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    That poor pillow!! Yet, I would’ve contributed to it’s demise too if it were me. I remember a trip not so long ago making lil man hold a frisbee under his chin, shouting every now and again ‘don’t move it’ in case he was sick again because we couldn’t stop. Poor little fella :0(

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 22, 2012 at 7:41 am

      That sounds just like my shouting! “Don’t move, DO NOT get it on your clothes!!!”

      Reply

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