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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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My Living Hell

Its friday, for many the night to socialise, to enjoy a beverage in your local watering hole or perhaps partake in some nourishing food at the local Indian or Chinese.

Or for many of us it seems to be the night to head onto the M42 and spend some quality time in traffic.

Seriously those of you supping on an ale right now or sipping on a sweet white wine don’t know the treats you are missing on the motorway. Firstly, for any car enthusiasts, there are thousands of them all cruising at a smooth ten miles an hour; clearly we all have nowhere else we would rather be. There are big ones, little ones, red ones, blue ones every type of sodding car imaginable.

For some odd reason some drivers and passengers look a little fed up at this friday night treat. Then they glance into our carrier of people and seem to cheer up instantly.

They see twin boy in the back, face contorted in pain as he battles his bowels whilst he who helped create them desperately searches for a service station amongst the sea of cars.

They see twin girl nose wrinkled in disgust as a strange smell edges towards her from the rear of the car.

They see beautiful baby mouth wide open with cries of frustration of being tied into a car seat when she should be having a book, bath and bed. Any cars within a 500 yard radius can also enjoy the sound effects from BB as her screams threaten to burst the sound barrier.

If they are really lucky as BB pauses for breath they catch the faint ironic strain of “If you are happy and you know it” coming out in maximum volume on repeat through the stereo.

They see me, wincing every time BB let’s out a strangled wail but still clapping when the CD tells me to, they see me praying twin boy wins the war against his bottom, they see me looking at them looking at me and they see their boredom is nothing compared to my living hell.

So really, ditch the beer, leave the pub and head to the motorway and become one of us…

Did I convince you?

Comments

  1. Helen says

    October 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    Poor you…feel your pain! Used to do the same…pre-kids though so not as painful…hopefully that enormous V&T waiting for you when you finally get home makes it a little better.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:11 pm

      Not going home, am on a journey….

      Reply
  2. Helloitsgemma says

    October 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    But never dull. Are you happy and you know it? X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:11 pm

      Piss off 🙂

      Reply
  3. The Mad House says

    October 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    I have to say that I wouldn’t do motorways on a Friday night with children, amke whoever it is come to you!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

      Its a christening weekend; I am godmother…

      Its a long way x

      Reply
  4. fireflyphil says

    October 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    And people go on the chair-o-planes and such for the ADRENALINE RUSH? Have they never BEEN on a motorway on a Friday evening?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

      Fools that’s what they are phil

      Reply
  5. mothersalwaysright says

    October 7, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    I’m actually going to put aside my cold white wine and get out of my dressing gown and slippers just to head out in the car. I’m sold. Or maybe not…hope you get a glass of Friday Night Juice when you get there! x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

      Several my love several x

      Reply
  6. PoorParenting says

    October 7, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Tempting….

    Where are you headed (I so hope it’s worth it!)

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Christening (but a weekend with my two best friends first _ and kids!)

      Reply
  7. Mummy Matters says

    October 7, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    If it makes you feel any better I thought I would have a few beers for you, they really are quite nice 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 7, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Thanks *looks cross*

      Reply
  8. Domestic goddesque says

    October 8, 2011 at 6:18 am

    Oh God, that sounds awful. I have clear memories of being stuck in the general direction of Birmingham on a Friday Night that took over five hours…..poor LBG was not a happy bunny. There should be a priority lane for parents with young children in the car.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 8, 2011 at 9:14 am

      That’s such a good idea, I would even pay a toll on it!

      Reply
  9. Expat Mammy says

    October 8, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Oh no that’s like hell, you poor things I hopefully you finally got out of the car and ended the night with some wine!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 8, 2011 at 9:15 am

      Oh I did! X x

      Reply
  10. NotMyYearOff says

    October 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    I used to be one of the bored ones on the M60… Now I’m the other one; on the dark side. Oh to be bored again!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 8, 2011 at 4:35 pm

      Never appreciate what you have got till it is gone!

      Reply
  11. ghostwritermummy says

    October 8, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    hahahahaha and this is why you are an award winner!!! I love the vivid reality of the horror involved in such a journey because we’ve all been there!
    XxX

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 8, 2011 at 4:35 pm

      Lol! X

      Reply
  12. ChocOrangeCityMum says

    October 9, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    I am going to keep an eye out for you from now on, those Friday evening traffic full drives are boring so I could do with some entertainment

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 10, 2011 at 6:37 am

      Harsh….. X

      Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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