Two of the things I find most stressful in life are hearing BB cry and being useless to help and driving in London city centre.
Today I got to drive through London city centre with BB screaming in the back. Its a wonder I survived.
The plan was straightforward, as twin boy and girl are currently building sandcastles on Blackpool beach I thought myself and BB could go visit a girlfriend who lives in the north of London. To err on the side of caution I decided to travel when BB religiously has a two hour nap and I also decided to use the Sat Nav rather than my poor sense of direction to get me to my destination.
However, fate took a hand and BB decided to awaken in the foulest of tempers after twenty minutes and Satan re programmed the navigation system re routing me via London City Centre; we could have ran sightseeing tours from the boot as we managed to drive past almost every major tourist attraction.
I found myself immersed in traffic outside Harrods; the car was uncomfortably warm and my stress levels were rising. Trademark london cabs and double decker buses were flying at me from all angles and tired tourists risked their lives darting in and out of the realms of cars all inching along in un clearly marked lanes.
The back of my neck was sweaty as a taxi blared its horn, BB’s wails grew more and more traumatic as I desperately tried to entertain her whilst also trying to not drive into a car, bus or person. I ended up tossing lipsticks, baby wipes, keys and juice cups at her in an attempt to soothe her torment. She merely grabbed them and relaunched them back at my head. Again, not helping the stress levels…
So I did what all self respecting people do…
I looked for someone else to blame.
I blared my horn in annoyance at the taxi driver who swerved in a little too close.
I may have shouted a teeny tiny bit at BB telling her to let me drive in peace.
I cursed he who helped create them for buggering off to cricket and leaving me to journey in solitude.
And I yelled at the calm, unflappable, hugely irritating sat nav lady.
Then finally after an escapade involving a bus lane, no entry street and a cyclist I sat in my car and bawled. Big heaving sobs that BB was jealous of, big fat tears of frustration that at age 33 I still can’t programme a Sat Nav or drive in our nations capital.
And then to make myself feel better I called he who helped create them and yelled some more for a while…
Needless to say, thirty minutes later we arrived in tact at my friends.
Now all I need to do is work out how to get home….
Awwe. bless you! You really do deserve that medal! I might send you one myself! 🙂
Can it be a chocolate one???
and a hug from Emma @sciencesparks who is a bit shout this summer holiday.
Shouty?
Nightmare – you poor thing. Nothing like a good cry and scream to sort the world out (from an adult not from a child!!). I lived and drove in London for 35 years and was always full of road rage!! Very stressful! Going home is always easier! X
Ha! Thanks x
Yikes! I felt your pain. Central London without a wailing baby is pretty horrendous. Hope the journey home was straight forward and you muted the sat nav 🙂
Hmmmmm, saw a few sights again!
Driving with a screaming baby is stressful enough without it being in central London. I have no idea how you survived. I’d have ditched the car and made a run for it with the baby. Hope you get home OK!
The return journey can be only be told with wine in hand!
Hugs. I once said the F word with the kids in the back of the car. It certainly produced silence. Not much help with BB, though.
Nothing makes that baby silent in a car! Its her only flaw x
Try SouthWest London next time . . . .much easier to get to!!!
BB and I are not good traveling companions now, we are never getting in the car together again!
Rather you than me! But if you survived that you can survive anything (apart from maybe Paris traffic).
Never. Ever, again
It’s not your fault. Really. Me and the sat. nav. lady have exchanged many an unkind word. Well, not exchanged exactly…
Once she even sent my husband along a private road that led us into a strange forest. He is normally a very calm man, but he even raised his voice.
She has her shortcomings. She forgets it’s a one way street. She has, apparently, no knowledge of those particular roadworks. And one time she sent me into a pedestrian zone to avoid roadworks she apparently did know about. I, dutiful servant followed her instruction TO THE LETTER only to be stopped and given an on the spot fine!! I informed the evil warden that the sat. nav. lady MADE me drive there. But she ignore my explanation and my tears of frustration and sent me back into the roadworks and the traffic madness with a lighter purse.
Does yours speak german to make it even harder?
The first one spoke in English, I can still here her unrelenting “Turn around when possible”.
The one we have now is in German – hence new problems!!
Hmmmm I can see how that would be tricky..
I’ve never driven in London and never will! You are one brave lady!! On our country roads up here, you’re lucky if you see one car in a space of a few miles and in the winter, you’re lucky if you see another car at all! It’s bliss…..
CJ xx
I am so so so jealous!
To be fair Berkshire isn’t bad but the amount of rubbish one needs to take with when going for a sleepover with a baby requires a car over train!
Next time I’ll take the train and arrive with monkey arms!