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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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sometimes…

Sometimes does the strain of parenting make you want to run up a hill and shout with all your might from the top?

Do the nonsensical arguments with small ones make you your vocal cords pulse in frustration as you struggle to contain your cries of crossness?

Do you ever take it out on your other half as they are bigger so you are ‘allowed’ to shout at them?

Did you believe your parents when they told you that ‘when you were a parent’ you’d understand?

Its been a rough morning so far, my throat is scratchy from yelling at five year olds who, whilst at times can win a nobel prize for annoyance, probably didn’t deserve it. The scales were mean to me when I stepped on them lightly which didn’t aide my already destroyed mood. Even BB who can normally do no wrong woke up at five am leaving me grumpy and irritable through sleep deprivation.

My stress levels are racing as I stand in the rain watching the minutes tick by waiting for the bus to arrive to drive me out of mummydom to my grown up life.

As the bus rounds the corner, my heart starts to slow, my pulse calms its angry thump and my senses relax. I pause for a moment and enjoy the silence of the rain pounding the deserted street. Then the guilt fills the void that anger left behind.

I shouted and left, I yelled at kids I am trying to teach to not raise their voices.

Bugger, arse, ballacks.

Not a great start to the day.

Must try harder tomorrow…

Comments

  1. Becky Willoughby says

    July 8, 2011 at 7:10 am

    I can empathise with this!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 7:23 am

      Phew. That makes two of us

      Reply
  2. Bod for tea says

    July 8, 2011 at 7:27 am

    I had a day like this yesterday. DD kicked off in the supermarket and I was less than calm about it all.Nothing like losing your cool in public I always say. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Hope the rest of your day is smooth as a mill pond. X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm

      Ooh hello, welcome back!

      And thanks x

      Reply
  3. Blue Sky says

    July 8, 2011 at 7:30 am

    It’s the time pressure in the mornings that does my head in, and it was even worse when I was working…my girls are usually okay, but aspie boy knows just how to push my buttons and I count every day a success if he is dressed and breakfasted by the time the bus comes 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm

      It is true its the worry of being late that really adds to my stress and makes me blow up!

      Reply
  4. PoorParenting says

    July 8, 2011 at 7:35 am

    Well as long as you didn’t shout “bugger, arse, bollocks” at them, I think we can consider this a partial win…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

      Very good point *starts to fill in parent of year award again*

      Reply
  5. crankymonkeys in london says

    July 8, 2011 at 7:45 am

    It happens to the best of us 🙂 I just had to have a discussion with my 6-year old on the topic of “even grown ups sometimes make mistakes”… Not. Easy. 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm

      Lord no, (and I have that conversation a lot!!!)

      Reply
  6. mothersalwaysright says

    July 8, 2011 at 8:15 am

    It’s OK – tomorrow’s a Saturday. Have a lie-in and make he who helped create them bring you a cup of tea in bed. Sleep deprivation’s the worst. x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:09 pm

      Lie in? Sorry what’s that?

      Reply
  7. HELEN JESSUP says

    July 8, 2011 at 9:30 am

    what do you mean ‘sometimes’…………

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:09 pm

      That made me snort!

      Reply
      • HELEN JESSUP says

        July 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm

        I like making people snort….you are my 2nd today!

        Reply
        • janeblackmore says

          July 8, 2011 at 6:03 pm

          Seriously, don’t let the police catch you dealing….

          Reply
  8. Alex Gray says

    July 8, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Only sometimes? 😉 Some days I spend shouting at the kids then drowning in guilt (and a glass of wine) in the evening. We all do it, don’t beat yourself up!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:08 pm

      Ha! Thanks for making me feel better. And for making me look forward to my glass of vino tonight!

      Reply
  9. eviegracesmummy says

    July 8, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Come on lady you are a fab Mummy. Its so hard the working Mum guilt surprised we don’t drive ourselves crazy at times. I am about to do 4 night shifts so once again am swaying between trying to stick to the routine and trying to make the most of our time together. By the way the scales were lying you look gorgeous xxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:07 pm

      Awwww, thanks mrs!

      But one has got a little podgy since the marathon.

      Life of a working mum eh, trying to do everything well but ending up doing most things badly…. X

      Reply
  10. alittlewife says

    July 8, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Haven’t been there, but I can imagine….my time will come!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm

      It will indeed! Enjoy the quiet (while it lasts) x

      Reply
  11. Abs says

    July 8, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    sounds like a regular day in this house!
    The days not a win unless you get a sly comment on your shouting skills from a passer by though :p

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm

      Hilarious!

      Reply
  12. pamperedmummy says

    July 9, 2011 at 5:25 am

    Its a horrible feeling knowing you’ve done nothing but shout and then have to leave to go to work. We have similar issues/situations in our house. I’m hoping it gets better as their older but my 10 year old is proving me wrong at the minute.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 9, 2011 at 7:56 am

      nothing to look forward to then….. 🙂

      Reply
  13. Mcai7td3 says

    July 9, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Sleep deprivation can do funny things to people, mostly involving stomping around and barking at the OH… And I have one. Multiply by 3… Oh my…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 9, 2011 at 10:47 am

      oh my indeed!

      Reply
  14. Steph says

    July 9, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    So true. DH definitely takes the brunt of it! Difficult to always be on top form with everyone though…..

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 9, 2011 at 9:20 pm

      better him than me!

      Reply
  15. Muddling Along says

    July 11, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    As you say, tomorrow is a new day… keep up the good work as it were

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 11, 2011 at 4:32 pm

      Ta x

      Reply
  16. ava812 says

    July 13, 2011 at 3:45 am

    Yes, in my part of the world (cebu,philippines), I can well relate! Everyday is another day. 🙂 The important thing is for them to know that we love them like crazy even if we “sometimes” shout at them. 🙂 You are doing great!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 13, 2011 at 6:39 am

      Thanks x

      Reply
  17. sarsm says

    July 25, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Is that not a form of scream therapy???

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 26, 2011 at 6:57 am

      Yes !

      Reply

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