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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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dont yell at sick kids; god will punish you

Parenting offers such diverse experiences many of which I would love to wrap up in ribbon and place gently in a box full of tissues and preserve forever.

Like when the first time the twins signed I love you before they could speak. Or when BB first held up her arms to me calling my name silently through big, unblinking eyes.

Of course there are also experiences that one would just rather flush away from one’s brain.

Like the time twin boy asked the big boned lady selling bags of candies at the theatre if she was so fat because she ate all of the sweets. Or the time twin girl refused to acknowledge me in Tesco’s leading to rather embarrassing questions from other mothers as to whom was her true parent.

And yesterday conjured up an experience that one simply doesn’t read about in parenting magazines…

The sun was glaringly hot as myself and BB trotted to collect the twins from school. The car was like an oven and consequently smelt like a dustbin as the heat melted all the raisins, crisps, and baby wipes into one congealed steaming mess.

Still upon collecting the bigger two from school I thought it wise to prolong the humid, horrid car journey by stopping for petrol on the way home.

Twin girl greeted me with her usual enthusiasm at the school gate, knocking me over with a hug and the piling my arms high with pictures, lunch boxes, book bags et al. Twin boy came to me more solemnly with a slight frown pulling at his face. When I enquired what was wrong as we neared the car he revealed that his head was sore ‘like my tummy when it hurts after cake but in my head mummy.’

Using my parental degree in medicine I quickly surmised he had a headache and prescribed medicine and a lay down in a darkened room once we returned home; both things which are widely known to help cure a headache.

Do you know what doesn’t help cure a headache? A hot car that is slowly suffocating itself through violent odours.

Once we were secured in the death mobile, twin boy remarked the smell and the heat of the car made his head hurt more and began to weep.

Twin girl didn’t want to be left out of the mix and declared;

“Mummy, my head hurts too.”

I replied, “don’t be silly Molly, it doesn’t.”

To which twin girl dramatically clutched at her chest and declared with a heaving sob;

“You’re right mummy, it doesn’t, its my heart, oh how my heart hurts, ow, ow, ow.”

I smirked to myself in the front, thinking of the top end nursing home I would be put in by twin girl once she has made it big with her exceptional acting skills.

As the performance went on twin boy continued to weep and wail in his seat whilst furiously rubbing his skull.

Patience is not a trait of mine and I have very little, and to be honest as he wailed and twin girl continued to clutch at her bosom, that little bit ran out. So I yelled at the sick kid to stop moaning and to be quiet.

Sad eyes greeted me in the rear view mirror, they were framed by two little hands holding up a poorly head. He swallowed back a tear, opened his mouth to reply and….

…Vommitted all over the car; twice.

Imagine how that smelt?

Let this be a lesson learnt. Don’t yell at sick kids, God will find a way to punish you.

Comments

  1. Sukh Pabial says

    July 5, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Oh dear no. As I was reading that I could just picture what was about to happen. When we’ve come back from holiday and make the journey home in our car – which we convince ourselves is the best way to travel to and from the airport with 3 kids – one of the kids always ends up being sick.

    Gotta love ’em though. Right?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 7:33 am

      hmmmm,

      love was not the first emotion that sprang to mind as I mopped up puke….

      Good luck x

      Reply
  2. Amy Le Pelley says

    July 5, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Oh poor twin boy. That post did make me laugh though! Hope he is feeling better and Twin girls broken heart has healed some. x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      She seems to be on the mend. You have all this to come Mrs

      Reply
  3. mothersalwaysright says

    July 5, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Poor twin boy, hope he feels better soon. On the plus side, look at it as practise for when he’s 18 and is sick from too many “shandies”. Get better soon twin boy! x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:30 pm

      I cannot think of my kids being 8 never mind 18. And to be honest doesn’t it start at about 11 now. Oh good lord…

      Reply
  4. HELEN JESSUP says

    July 5, 2011 at 8:26 am

    oh dear, nothing worse than the smell of sick in a car………….except maybe the smell of sick in a hot & steaming car….
    Good luck getting rid of that & hope Twin Boy feels better soon & Twin Girls gets that great acting role and you get to live in your luxury nursing home happily ever after!
    x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

      Thanks. I love a good nursing home x

      Reply
  5. I'm So Fancy says

    July 5, 2011 at 10:17 am

    oh yes you were punished. I actually feel bad for all of you here. Horrible.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

      Life is cruel…..

      Reply
  6. alittlewife says

    July 5, 2011 at 10:20 am

    That made me boke a little – hot, vomit filled cars are not fun at all (memories of car journeys with three little brothers spring to mind!)

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

      All to come my dear. All to come x

      Reply
  7. sarah says

    July 5, 2011 at 10:52 am

    I love to read your posts as i too am not blessed with much patience. Nice to know i’m not the only one out there! Hope he feels better soon 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm

      Oh I love to display “real parenting”. Nothing to hide here….

      Reply
  8. Mcai7td3 says

    July 5, 2011 at 11:36 am

    I am one of those wimps that wants to throw up the instant someone else has. Vomit in a car… Trapped… Argggh. Post still made me chuckle though 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:33 pm

      I used to be. Twin boy had reflux for first two years I became immune to vomit….

      Reply
  9. Diney says

    July 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Ew – on a hot day too, even worse! Nobody tells you how to clean up sick either , do they!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:33 pm

      No. It is the great unspoken. Any tips as the car is still heaving….

      Reply
  10. angelsandurchinsblog says

    July 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    Diney is right – no one does tell you the best way to clear up sick.

    Reply
  11. teawithonesugarplease says

    July 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    That smell will never come off the upholstery but you know that – poor you hope you let OH clean the car afterwards……

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm

      I so did!

      Reply
  12. mummymummymum says

    July 5, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    I’m sorry, but I am laughing….

    I once dragged Z out to a see a friends new house when he said he was feeling sick…even ignored him as he lay on their sofa looking miserable…and then he puked all over their carpet..I have never felt like such a bad mum.

    I hope twin boy is ok now. xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 7:20 pm

      Hmmm convienent illness x

      Reply
  13. lucy says

    July 5, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    i ignored my 4 yr old twin 1’s pleas of feeling ill at a friend’s bbq a few nights ago putting it down to her being a bit ‘mard’ (being northern you’ll know what that means) only for her to puke twice all over her dads plate as we were all sitting down to eat, which was nce for the other guests, we were outside thankfully xx oops xx hope your poor little ones feeling better now x bless him x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 9:07 pm

      ‘Mard’. Classic, I call my son mardy bum!

      I love northerners!

      Reply
  14. Jacq says

    July 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    It’s called method acting. I hate puke in cars and have left children home with their older sister in charge rather than risk someone vomiting in my vehicle! One of DD1’s little friends gets car sick and she always throws up in it.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 10:32 pm

      Ugh!

      Reply
  15. PoorParenting says

    July 5, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Oh dear Jane.

    Lesson learnt. Twin boy clearly has a direct line to the big guy. Best keep on the right side of him in future…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 5, 2011 at 10:33 pm

      Worrying isn’t it!

      Reply
  16. Kerry says

    July 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    Oh no I hope that he is ok now, clean it, febreeze it send it to a car cleaner you know the ones in the car parks of certain supermarkets and ask for an inside clean! Thats what I do xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 6, 2011 at 5:44 am

      Oh good plan Kerry

      Reply
  17. Kylie Hodges says

    July 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Sorry that was hilarious,,,,, until I considered the fact that I don’t drive. When this happens to me it will be on the bus. Oh lord…..

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 7, 2011 at 8:46 pm

      hehehe, never laugh at those less fortunate that yourself x

      Reply
  18. Crystal Jigsaw says

    July 7, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Awww, poor little sweetheart. I imagine twin boy didn’t feel too clever either.

    Only joking.

    I hope he’s better now and it wasn’t anything serious??

    CJ xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 8, 2011 at 6:48 am

      Ten minutes later he was eating tea and bouncing off the walls playing with his sister! Resilitent little thing! X

      Reply
  19. sarsm says

    July 25, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    The two worst things to ‘spill’ in a car: vomit and milk. Especially a hot car.

    I guess the gin bottle is not fairing too well…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      July 26, 2011 at 6:57 am

      Its empty 🙁

      Reply

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