I was full of nervous apprehension this morning. I tried to hide it so the children wouldn’t pick up on the butterflies that were zorbing through my stomach.
I had everything ready the night before, tuna pasta had been made for the kids breakfast, their kit was clean, and their shoes were gleaming.
Today ladies and gentleman was Sports Day.
We arrived at school with the rest of the parent paparazzi, the kids were given a team talk in the car by he who helped create them. None of this garbage about it’s the taking part that counts; we assumed the stance of bad parenting and told our five year old children to get their heads down, focus and aim for the finish line.
It was in the playground that I realised my first folly; I had left my running spikes at home which was going to give me a severe handicap for the mummy race. I considered missing twin girls first race to go home and retrieve them but he who helped create them felt that may cause tantrums at tea time.
Sprint was first, twin girl launched into action with Linford Christie legs, as she belted across the finish line in first place I broke the sound barrier with my cries of glee. Twin boy was less fortunate when his turn to race came, I take full responsibility, my supportive shouts were clearly a distraction as he turned to find me in the crowd and lost his chance for gold.
Still he recovered well for the egg and spoon race and cool as a cucumber he speed walked over the line declaring “I’m a winner.”
Twin girl went on to retain her pole position in both the space hopper race and skipping. Three races, three wins, can you imagine how much I danced and yelled? Me and he who helped create them are now seriously considering taking her out of school and allowing her to focus on her athletics to try to get a last-minute slot in next years olympics.
Then the moment I had been waiting for came; the mummy race. He who helped create them set a precedence by claiming silver in the Daddy race.
I approached the start line and started to strip to my pants and vest until one of the other mums pointed out that wasn’t necessary. I crouched into a sprinting start, laughing internally at the fools who were just taking a standing start approach.
The teacher called out GO and I set off with the music from chariots of fire pulsating through my head. Other mums pounded the grass beside me and it seemed we were all neck and neck. I don’t know how but two broke away from me and I watched their backsides mock me as I struggled to retain much-needed ground. Then it was over, I had shamed my family and after a year of practising sprints in the garden I had only managed to claim a bronze medal. Wiping the tears of frustration away I couldn’t even look the twins in the eye as I hurried back to my bench and the disapproving glare of he who helped create them.
To my family of golds and silvers I am one proud mummy, I am sorry for letting you down. Next year I will claim gold and glory will be ours!
Brilliant, just brilliant.
You could have really shamed them and not got a medal at all.
I can’t wait for sports day. I used to sprint for Scottish Schools! Was a Gold medalist! 🙂
God help the mums at your school….
I have all this to look forward to tomorrow, but after justing having a root canal a few hours before will (oh I am so sorry but my mouth is still throbbing!) won’t be running in the parents race.
No doubt the Mum’s who would never be seen dead in trainers any other day will be sporting a bright and shiney pair with a token bit of mud just so they looked used.
The joys of sports day, but must say is the Mum’s race was with space hoppers I be all in !!!
Oops now typing this just realised that my dentist is on Friday (dam!)
Take your running spikes – if they dont make you go faster then use as a weapon….
Jane I will take that as a complement you think I have running spikes, sadly for me it would be a choice of Fit flops or wellies not sure what to wear ??!!!
Though will be doing a little rain dance in the morning so may not need either 🙂
The winner today finished bare foot!
clearly her training went further than mine – that lady was hardcore….
Rain dance tomorrow then – I’ll join you
The moment I read “sports day” my heart sank for you!! I once entered a sports day race on behalf of an absent mother of one of my god children. Frankly I think you are BRILLIANT to get a medal of any colour…..i helped bring up the rear!! Well done!! XX
Why thank you x
Well done for letting those Mummys win! You did win the London Marathon so didn’t want to show off xx
Awwww, I like your thinking *rushes off to edit post* renames: One’s mum scarafice for her family….
This is hilarious! And one that I can totally relate to, I too came 3rd in the Mums football dribbling sprint…..there was some filthy cheating going on …..if there hadn’t I might have ended up 4th or even 5th…….can you imagine the sham of that!!
x
*shame*
I guessed!
Fabulous,
you cant cheat in a sprint – I tried to edge my feet over line but teachers were having none of it
Love it! When mine start school I can imagine our family experience will be very similar to this. Us, competitive? Nah (cough…) Great post!
Thanks!
the force is strong in me and my brood!
At least you didn’t trip over, land on your face and cover everyone in blood from your bleeding nose.
I have done this but thankfully as a (6th form) pupil, not a mother.
I crawled over the finish line. Then they had to wash down the last few metres of track to de-blood it!
You always add an element of beauty to my blog lady!
Fantastic. I’m praying for rain for our sports day…. and secretly training in my lunch break….. naaat 😉
ha!
I can see you know taking the stairs not the lift…..
Next year you need to make sure you trip the others up, push out the way, run them off the track etc. Wear your outfit from the Marathon plus medal and do like the daddy in that last pic. You need to lean over the start line , give yourself a head start.
you is clearly a pro at this……
Well done. I’ve never entered one yet, maybe this is my year!
oh you have to!
nothing like it……
I love this! Feel ready for my 1st sports day with will x Bring on 1st July! Lol x
Will be thinking of you – praying for sun!
I am dreading parents sports day. That is all.
I can train you……
Next year I think you should sabotage the race somehow. A fishing wire threaded along the middle of the track to trip everyone up / offering water laced with some kind of laxative / getting all the other mums drunk the night before – you know who to call for under-hand tactics…
lol – i actually did one of those (got mums drunk night before) it didnt help because in order to get them drunk I had to get drunk so I hindered my own performance….
What??!! Third place – that’s just not good enough and you know it! Better get training we don’t want a repeat of that again next year ;-p
Hilarious great post – whoever said winning isn’t importantust have never won anything before!
Exactly!
At least you got a medal! I have a phobia of sports days! I always used to refuse to go to. Now I can feel the fear already, do all mums have to take part?! I sure hope not!
Its optional but I find the kids dont forgive you if you dont….
Since getting home I think I should put some more weight to this under achievement….on asking twin boy and twin girl their thoughts on their respective races twin boy informed the audience that he was proud that he had got a 1st, 2nd and third place. 1st in egg and spoon. Check. 2nd in the Sprint. Check. But third? “when was that O?” And then the horra. “In the skipping, Mum” We hadn’t left the sunken bench, even through the rain all morning and had managed to miss his whole race! On a positive its a good job he followed in his mother’s footsteps otherwise I don’t think we would ever have lived it down if he had won! (Also my 2nd place was to a model 10 years younger who was fully kitted out for the challenge. Infact I think he is stretching in the picture….we’re not competitive at all……!)
Love this, wish my child’s school did a ‘real’ sports day. They decided that it wasn’t fair on all of the children to compete so now its a rubbish day where the parents stand and watch their children do various activities in small groups. Like walking on a beam, or tossing a bean bag into a bucket. Seriously. Even the kids get bored. Wish they’d bring back real sports day, then I could dust off my running spikes!
It was one of the reasons we chose this school – still believe in good old fashioned competition!
Nothing wrong with a bronze medal! Good for you for taking part 😀
Lol, thanks x
Heck – you really did let the family down! Shame! 🙂
Lol, sorry….
this had me in fits of giggles!!! thank you x
welcome!
My only entry into a Mummy race was as a result of a wine-fuelled lunch with my Mum before the event. Not my finest hour.
*sniggers*
Don’t run in wedges, as I did and come a very embarrassing last place!! ;o)
wise words fi!
Tsk talk about letting the side down!
Sorry!