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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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how to kill an old bird…

I’ve been on a journey this weekend, its all been, well, a bit odd, different and unusual.

I haven’t seen my children for nearly thirty hours which means that for that time period I have not had to raise my voice to squeaky screech level; wipe food/dirt/sudacrem off my clothes with a baby wipe; clean up anyone else bodily functions or listen to anyone spontaneously burst in melodramatic false tears because someone else took their chosen toy or knocked their elbow in a non painful manner.

My anxiety levels have remained so low that they have almost flat lined. I havent had any moments of madness where as I have had to dart upstairs for a much needed bathroom break I then spend the whole time questioning if the baby is safe left on the floor alone for three whole minutes; four is I was my hands with real soap and water not hand gel that lives downstairs in my purse. Please note often I am known to stop mid wee (hard work since I was known to not practise my pelvic floor exercises in pregnancy) and dash downstairs, flies open, jeans round ankles and retrieve perfectly happy beautiful baby and travel back upstairs and plonk her in front of me whilst I return for the urine sequel.

I have not had to bargain my way for ten minutes silence by using jelly babies and some chap called Justin as a reward mechanism. I have not had to share my bath with six other pairs of legs. I have not had to split any of my meals nor have I had to eat my food cold whilst I chop, mush and mash other peoples.

I have been able to forge a new level of closeness with a hand held pump, I have been able go where I want when I want without arranging a twice referenced ofsted regulated baby sitter. I have been able to chat with nose wiping, laugh without refereeing an argument and drink lots of wine without worrying about breast milk.

So its all been quite different, its been rather good fun.

But my time is Oz is over and its time to go home. I miss the feel of sticky on my hands and a babe in my arms.

So I click my flip flops three times, close my eyes and see my children waiting for their mummy weekend to begin and shout…

“There’s no place like home.”

I tell you; I gave the old dear sitting next to me on the train an almost fatal heart attack….

Comments

  1. Tinuke says

    June 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    Glad you enjoyed your time in Oz ; )
    I have 2 hrs before I click my ruby slippers and get reunited with mummyhood again

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:02 pm

      Hope you got home safe x

      Reply
  2. ali says

    June 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Glad you had a great time, always nice to have a break. Always better to get home 🙂

    Maybe Oz for me next year, who knows 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:04 pm

      Yes you must! X

      Reply
  3. Louisa says

    June 26, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Glad you had a great time, loved following it on twitter though I would have loved being there with you all more! xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:51 pm

      You were missed! Next year…

      Reply
  4. Belgravia Wife - sort of says

    June 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I love the way you write and I enjoyed your Cybermummy posts enormously. I have. I did that thing too – I used to have a military strategy in place just to take a shower ! Enjoy your Sunday x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:50 pm

      Thanks so much! And I have x

      Reply
  5. sarah says

    June 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    I have 5 more weeks until the land of Oz arrives for me. Husband in the navy and been away for nearly 5 months now! Think i deserve the peace and qiet for a few days!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:49 pm

      My goodness! 5 months. Have you booked yourself in somewhere luxiurous? J

      Reply
  6. PoorParenting says

    June 26, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder (and the hands grow cleaner…)

    Sorry I didn’t join you xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 5:47 pm

      My clean hands and I missed you! X

      Reply
    • michelletwinmum says

      June 26, 2011 at 6:45 pm

      Yes, we did miss you love x

      Reply
      • janeblackmore says

        June 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm

        next time pooky we are coming to you to get you…… (:))

        Reply
    • PoorParenting says

      June 27, 2011 at 5:19 pm

      Ha! I’ll make sure I come then… You sound scary 😉 x

      Reply
      • janeblackmore says

        June 27, 2011 at 5:45 pm

        Wise words

        Reply
  7. michelletwinmum says

    June 26, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I got home to find dh on top of things, so I came upstairs and wrote a blog post and then had a snooze until 4pm, it was great!

    Mich x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm

      Snooze?

      did you marry gandhi?

      I went swimming……

      Reply
  8. Kizzy says

    June 26, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    Fab post as usual. Wanted to pop over and say hi but you where always in mid conversation when I saw you. Loved your post you read out too! Sounded just like my life!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 8:28 pm

      Oh no.

      I am always in mid conversation – quite often with myself, please always say hi!

      Reply
  9. mothersalwaysright says

    June 26, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Glad you had a brilliant time, I bet the bambinos missed you greatly. I will be there with bells on next year, joining you in enjoying a leisurely wee and a Justin-free weekend. x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 8:28 pm

      I missed you! you’d have loved it! I manned the wine stall for a while!

      Reply
  10. Lorraine from The Party Times says

    June 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    great post as ever – it is a wonderful, yet strange, feeling of freedom to leave all behind…but am always raring to go back to see my little terrors again – good to have time out though!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

      It makes life so much easier, I have been earth mother all day today – not one bit of yelling!

      Reply
  11. HELEN JESSUP says

    June 26, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Glad you had a great time…….you would not believe how much I longed to wash my hands with soap & water all weekend! i think I still need a few more showers to get rid of all traces of dirt!
    x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 6:41 am

      Lol.

      Glastonbury or Cybermummy?

      Hmmm I had free showers and wine but the singing wasnt up to much!

      xxx

      Reply
  12. Teawithonesugarplease says

    June 26, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    What did I miss?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 6:39 am

      It was such an amusing day!

      curry was lovely, we lost about 8 people I think. The free booze was fabulous, but you were really missed! x

      Reply
  13. Mrs TeePot says

    June 26, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    Lol great post! Glad you had a good break! 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 6:39 am

      I’m sorry we didnt get to say hello mrs

      Reply
  14. Mcai7td3 says

    June 27, 2011 at 6:16 am

    Sounds a very civilised time. Imagine peeing without stopping and starting! I am going next year!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 6:38 am

      Just for the toilet experience?….

      Reply
  15. Iota says

    June 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

    There IS no place like home, but it’s great to have a break too. You express it very well. And I’m sure Justin missed you…

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 11:27 am

      His viewing figures were down that day!

      Reply
  16. Bod for tea says

    June 27, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    Glad you had a fun day 😀 Think I would have missed DD too (sad eh?). Next year though, for sure!

    Reply
  17. A Modern Mother says

    June 27, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Great to meet you in person Jane, wish we had more time to chat. That will happen soon enough. You read brilliantly, did I mention?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 27, 2011 at 1:50 pm

      Thankyou! Good to see you could all hear me over my knees knocking..

      Reply
  18. Circus Queen says

    June 29, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Sounds like you had a great time and a well-deserved break! Everyone in one piece upon your return I assume.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      June 29, 2011 at 11:47 am

      Just…..

      presume we will see you there next year?

      Reply

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