I am trying to find the happy today, my maternity leave is finally over after a rather splendid year with the small ones and I just can’t help but feel a little glum.
Actually for the last two hours or so I have felt pretty darn miserable hugely exaggerating the situation in my own mind and moaning like I am about to leave the children with the wicked witch of the west instead of the person they adore as much as me; aka he who helped create them or as they call him – daddy.
Its hard though as I have adored every second with my babies, ok maybe not every second; the labour bit was painful; several long car trips have been unpleasant and me and all soft play centres need some time apart. But all in all sitting on my arse playing with lego for a year has been; well; quite comfy.
And don’t get me wrong I am almost drooling at the thought of a hot cup of tea, in fact I may even intentionally scold myself with it just for the novelty factor. And as for lunch, I am excited at the prospect of having one without shoving the hoover round in my spare hand. Worse case is I will have a computer in front of me, best case is I will be dining out!
But still I am feeling teary and tired; nervous about juggling with three children and one rather busy job, (not to mention the dog and significant other!). I feel like I am not sure who I am again, mummy or manager, and as yet I can’t remember how to be both.
So I will tap dance through this thunderstorm and wait for the sky to settle and the rainbow to emerge and calm to descend upon me and my brood once more.
**By the way my little blog has been shortlisted in the MAD blog Awards; I am really flattered, if you want to help me win please click on this voting link and enter your name and email and my blog has been shortlisted in Best Mad Blog about Family life (the first one); just click ‘northern mum’ – Thanks from me, twin boy, twin girl, BB, and he who helped create them x x x