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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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bb goes back to hospital

Logically I shouldn’t be worried about tomorrow; my rational mind tells me BB is not in any danger and is in the best possible place. I also know quite clearly that I am incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful healthy daughter who has to live with a small condition.

But I do feel a bit wobbly, I would be telling a bit of an untruth if I were to say I wasn’t feeling more than a bit scared about BB’s MRI scan. Its funny the scan doesn’t worry me; I am hopeful the results will be clear or at worse case confirm the diagnosis of eplipsy. But the thought of someone putting my beautiful tiny little girl to sleep is close to unbearable.

Rationally I know it is routine but I don’t want her to have to need a routine procedure. Rationally I know she will be fine but yet my knees quiver when my minds eye sees the needle entering her nine month old hand. Rationally I know she will wake up, cry a little and then settle on the breast, but my mind runs away with me sometimes down the what if road…

Rational thought seems to be jumping on a speeding horse and galloping away from me right now.

To my lovely bb, you’ll be fine, I will be a wreck, and we will all come home tomorrow happy…

Rational thought will then be resumed.

Comments

  1. ella says

    March 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Aw, been there and it is totally normal to be worried. Tomorrow will be harder on you than on her.

    Good luck and make sure they let you stay nearby so you can be there when she wakes (they don’t always routinely) xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 14, 2011 at 9:33 pm

      thanks ella,

      Reply
  2. eviegracesmummy says

    March 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Sending BB big kisses to help her have a lovely dream tomorrow. Huge hugs for you am off tomorrow will have my phone next to me all day in case you want to text e mail or call. Such a brave Mummy xxxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 14, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      thanks sara x x x

      Reply
  3. Mcai7td3 says

    March 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    I’ve always been told babies are made of much stronger stuff than we give them credit for and we always take it harder than them. Hope it goes really well for both of you tomorrow! xxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 14, 2011 at 9:33 pm

      lordy i hope so x

      Reply
  4. PhotoPuddle says

    March 14, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Hugs to you. I think I would be feeling exactly the same way if I was in your position. After all I cried when mt daughter had her first few jabs! But that’s our job as mothers isn’t it? Don’t worry, she’ll be just fine and will probably be wondering what all the fuss is about.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 14, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      thanks

      Reply
  5. Kerry says

    March 14, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    I know totally how you feel and reading that has brought the feelings and the tears back to my eyes, I was in exactely the same position last week, at about this time waiting for Babas op on tuesday.

    I am not going to bother telling you she will be fine you know in your heart she will be but she is your baby. Of course you are scared, or as I stated so beautifully in my post last week ‘bricking it’ your her mummy you are going to be scared. But I was amazed how I kept it together for Baba and you will too, for BB. Thats what we do we keep it together.

    I will be thinking off you tomorrow. Great big hugs and will be looking forward to hear from you when you are all rational thinking again xx

    Reply
  6. ChocOrangeCityMum says

    March 14, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    You are so right, she will be fine and you will be a mess. That’s what is supposed to happen and what makes a fantastic mother.

    Good luck with everything, will be thinking of you.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:50 am

      cheers lovely

      Reply
  7. Teawithonesugarplease says

    March 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    big hugs to you both – horrid as it sounds a routine procedure is just that done lots of time and nothing special or out of the ordinary to worry about. I had to witness a lumber puncture with smaller twin at 3 weeks old and that was awful for me but he was OK (I think asleep!) and BB will be asleep too and none the wiser xxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:49 am

      I know you are right (as always)

      Reply
  8. mummy@bodfortea says

    March 15, 2011 at 6:30 am

    Got everything crossed for you, but I’m sure it will all go as smooth as silk. It’s totally natural to feel protective of bb and scared at the same time, it comes with the territory my Mum always says 😀 Good luck and let us know how it goes x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:49 am

      Thanks lovely x

      Reply
  9. Sheena says

    March 15, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Fingers crossed for you. It’s harder on us than them. I hope everything turns out ok and you come home safe.
    Good luck..

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:48 am

      thanks sheena

      Reply
  10. suzie says

    March 15, 2011 at 7:02 am

    good luck janexxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:49 am

      thanks missy x x x x x

      Reply
  11. Pants With Names says

    March 15, 2011 at 7:14 am

    Good luck. It will be so hard for you, but like Ella says it will be harder for you than it is for her.

    My husband reckons labour is harder on the man as you have to witness it and can do nothing about it. I guess it will be kind of similar for you today. Hoping everything goes smoothly. x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:48 am

      Thanks I agree with first comment but disagree with hubby!!!! my labour was harder on me…… lol
      xxx

      Reply
  12. marketingtomilk says

    March 15, 2011 at 7:27 am

    When it comes to your children rational is difficult. I totally understand your nervousness. I’d hate anyone putting my children under anaesthetic. I’m sure all will be fine but we’ll be thinking of you and the little one in any case.

    M2Mx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

      thanks you angel x

      Reply
  13. @simply_Hayley says

    March 15, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Your a mum and you wouldnt be human if you didnt worry. Its mothers nature to do so. Thinking of you today, hope all goes well and its not too traumatic for either of you x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 9:19 am

      thank you x

      Reply
  14. motherporridge says

    March 15, 2011 at 9:24 am

    Wishing you the best of luck today xxx

    Reply
  15. Mummy_Ethal says

    March 15, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Oh what a time u r having. Reading this I knew exactly where u are coming from and sent me back in time to the day my eldest was born. She had to be paralysed in special.care for about 2 weeks. U know it is the best thing for them, so that they can get the treatment they need, but goodness if I could have done it for her instead I really would! Thinking off u and I hope u get the answers u need xxx

    Reply
  16. podgypixiejo says

    March 15, 2011 at 10:20 am

    hope it goes well today, watching your baby be put to sleep is the most unnatural thing, I remember my terror well from when my tiny had her op. Hope it’s not too hard on you today and BB has a lovely little sleep and that the MRI brings some answers for you. THinking of you both xxx

    Reply
  17. @LincolnAndMe says

    March 15, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Will be thinking of you today lovely xxxxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 1:21 pm

      Thanks mrs mary

      Reply
  18. Michelle Twin Mum says

    March 15, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    (((Jane))) not sure what time it is today. Will be offering up positive prayers for you.

    Mich x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      Thanks x x x

      Reply
  19. Liz Fielding says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Thinking of you both. x

    Reply

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