I remember it.
When I was a student I abused it. Not only did I clock up a good 10-12 hours a night, I was renown for sneaking off mid afternoon for forty winks whenever I felt an urge.
Some people partied their way through University, I most definitely slept my way through it…
(For those reading innuendo into my last statement – just stop it – my Mum reads this blog.)
I have not slept much in four years, Type 1 Diabetes put a stop to that with its incessant tantrums that dominant night times. Often I find myself bleary eyed, finger pricker in hand, stood beside my sleeping child, several times a night. Whilst I have mastered the art of sleeping for one hour and fifty five minutes at a time with a ten minute awake period, nothing beats the feeling of a straight eight hours.
Oh so I recall.
This is how I have decided to face life. Rather than missing sleep, I am going to enjoy the extra time I get to watch my children sleep….
I am embracing all those motivational quotes that clutter up my Facebook timeline. Happiness is a journey and all that.
So when something comes along that offers a fresh challenge, I am welcoming it in with open arms.
Like a prat.
Because sometimes I am a prat.
For us, life has been pretty settled since the big move up north. Hospital appointments are at a reasonable 2-3 a month, the kids seem to be accustomed to their new home. No major medical upheavals have occurred in almost a year (touch wood), life has been almost calm.
My kind of calm.
I still don’t sleep much, I still have to do physiotherapy with two of my three kids daily, I still work at weird and wonderful hours to be able to fit in around the kids. I still lift heavy things as a means to relax. I possibly still drink a bit too much wine.
But calmness was mine.
Then I destroyed that with one purchase.
The world’s most beautiful puppy.
She took calm and blew smoke right up its arse.
She has bounced into our world, creating chaos in her wake. Shoes can be found half buried in the garden, she is known to like to tinkle where we eat, she demands love all day long, and she needs an extra hour in each day where she can be walked to her heart’s content.
I adore her.
The kids are besotted.
Our life is mayhem once more.
Back to sleep
The plus is, Rosie is a sleeper.
Pop her to bed at night and she doesn’t make a sound till daylight. Sometimes when she hears my footsteps pad across the landing to Molly’s room on my nightly duties she gives a little whimper of solidarity, but then all is still.
Until last night.
Last night, she was anything but still. In fact she was heaving and vomiting all over the house, causing a state of panic and genuine fear.
My little 15 week old pup had joined the family tradition of getting sick, quick.
At 10pm, I unearthed the kids from sleep. Another treat of single parenting, when the dog needs to go to the vets, we all get to go.
10pm, we stood in front of a chap who told me solemnly Rosie was to stay overnight in his care. I cried, they cried, we all left despondent.
Come home, went to bed, and tried to sleep….
Molly’s cgm alarm went off 16 times. I counted.
Her bloods refused to calm, no matter how much insulin I gave her.
When diabetes wasn’t being alarming, the phone was ringing, the vet updating me on my puppy, her x rays and her general prognosis.
I slept for three hours in total. My fitbit told me so, so it must be true.
Today I look like a 87-year-old after a night out on crack.
Rosie had surgery this morning, her vets bill is already in the thousands. By the look of it she is going to be ok.
Luckily the vets is right next to the hospital, so we can use our usual parking place.
She is staying in tonight.
I have spent my tired state of mind doing mathematical equations trying to work out what the feck is going on with my daughters blood sugars, in the hope that tonight we can both get some rest.
I am so behind in life that I don’t even care anymore.
Luckily this challenge has the world’s cutest eyes and the waggiest tail.
I can’t wait for her to come home.
Happiness is not a destination it is a journey…. I think last night I took a wrong turn!
Sleep well everyone, remember – you can’t store sleep – but god knows, I am going to try!