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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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The day I discovered the affair…

It would seem I am in a whole heap of shite.

Today; today has been a revelation.  I have discovered adultery, betrayal and I have sunk further into the pits of depression than I ever believed possible.

The affair is unforgivable, I am a wreck, I feel empty.

I don’t even know when it started, but it can’t have been going on for long.  I confess, I am not entirely innocent, I admit I have been neglectful with my attentions, but did I deserve this?

Does the punishment befit the crime…

Today I discovered the horrible truth, that my motivation has been seducing my willpower and no the pair of them have ran off together; leaving me alone and destitute.  I saw them run hand in hand through the doors at the gym,  they waited until I was fully clothed in Lycra with sweat band wrapped round my head, finger hovering over the start button on the treadmill.  Then they left me, without even so much as a goodbye.  I can still hear their happy cackles when I close my eyes.

Bastardos.

Without them, I was powerless, the treadmill never even started and I had wandered off into the bar area and had ordered myself a large G and T and a super size bag of peanuts.  The G and T went down like silk and the peanuts were munched merrily without a hint of guilt – it wasn’t my fault, I was the victim.

Later that evening I thought about running and found myself buried in smarties and skips, I don’t even know how I got there.

It would seem my legs don’t work without my willpower and motivation.  The only place I run is the fridge.

It is 22 weeks till the marathon and I have yet to complete a mile.  The loss of willpower and motivation have forced me to turn to my inner stupidity to step up and help me to train.  After all, it was stupidity that got me into this mess; but, we were both relying on willpower and motivation to pull us out of it.

It would seem that we are on our own,

My stupidity and I; and a 26 mile monster.

As I said, a whole pile of shite.

Comments

  1. LauraCYMFT says

    November 6, 2013 at 10:19 am

    It can be tough to get motivated, I know. Just try and remember the reason why you are doing that marathon. Good luck!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:51 pm

      Thanks Laura x

      Reply
  2. Annick Hollins says

    November 6, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Lol! I know that feeling. Keep at it – and just think of the joyous feeling when you cross that finishing line – elation doesn’t quite describe it!

    p.s. just also wanted to let you know that following my ops for hip dysplasia in 2009 I ran my first post-op marathon at the beginning of October. If I can do it with wonky hips, so can you 🙂

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:51 pm

      Lord! now I feel really lazy – how are you mrs – I have not heard from you in ages x

      Reply
  3. Cakesphotoslife (Angie) says

    November 6, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    My god woman, I thought hubby was having an affair when I continued to read I smiled (sorry), you will do it you are one of the strongest ladies I know and it will happen for you xxx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      Thanks lovely lady x x

      Reply
  4. Rhian @melbs says

    November 7, 2013 at 2:54 am

    Get off your arse, or I will put a rocket up it – hows that for motivation?
    Loves ya x

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      It is a long way to come to put a rocket up it.

      Reply
  5. older mum in a muddle says

    November 7, 2013 at 8:55 am

    You can do it…. pick yourself up and imagine your training officially starts today or tomorrow or day after that. This is a snotty time of year to get motivated and stay that way…. we just want to hibernate and eat chocolate – so don’t be too hard on yourself. X

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      ok – *eats more chocolate*

      Reply
  6. Middle-Aged Matron says

    November 7, 2013 at 11:38 am

    You always get me so worried…!

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      Tsk! you should know me better x

      Reply
  7. Jazzygal says

    November 7, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    With a title like that I just had to read. I was almost totally sucked in until I reminded myself this is Northern Mum, there’s a twist here, I know it!
    I have the same battles between motivation and willpower at times. Don’t give up. Every day is a new day and you can start afresh, numerous times, It’s never too late. We. almost never too late!

    xx Jazzy

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      *snort* you should know better x

      Reply
  8. Sian says

    November 9, 2013 at 8:59 am

    You can do it! xxx

    Reply
    • northernmum says

      November 10, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Bloody hope so x

      Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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