I am not ready ~ Northernmum

I blinked and suddenly the store windows had changed, maxi dresses and tiny shorts had been ripped from view and knit wear and cords were hanging from the faceless mannequins.  I stood on the high street staring at the rows of shops feeling as if I had been pick pocketed.  It was almost as if a stranger had silently reached into my jeans pockets and stolen summer whilst I decided which shirt to buy.

The school holidays started and finished even before they had a chance to begin.  I found myself  dreaming of our next  holiday in Spain whilst ironing clothes for children in Year Two.  Confusion overcame me as it felt like only yesterday that my bigger babies first pulled on their school jerseys to start their journey into reception.

The speed that life is hurtling along makes me uncomfortable, my BB is no longer a babe in arms, instead she is a little madam who chats back, who questions what I ask her to do, who makes me weep with walking and laugh out loud with her Libbyisms.

The twins can ride bikes faster than I can run, and they cycle away from me and I want to call them back to urge them not to grow too soon there is plenty of time for that later.  They long to be bigger; they crave independence, to walk to the park without me, to swing alone without a mother’s hand on their back.  I am not ready, not ready for them to be big!

Yet I love that we can play games together, Sundays can be spent squabbling over Monopoly, bedtimes can be relaxed to watched films cuddled up on the sofa.  They can talk to me, share their woes and ask me my thoughts, we can speak on the same level and I enjoy this side of growing up.

When I was first pregnant many wise older mothers told me to relish the moments and savour the seconds because no one is little for long.

I hear myself passing on this advice to ladies with bumps in the streets and friends who call with the joyous news that they are expecting.

Time travels quickly, enjoy every moment.

26 thoughts on “I am not ready ~ Northernmum”

  1. Spot on. It really does. It terrifies me how fast the weeks speed by, blurring into one – and suddenly my little baby isn’t such a baby anymore. So important to savour every moment. x

  2. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I’m feeling. My youngest has just started school, she was only 4 at the end of August, the decision has been made not to have any more because of my PGP and arthritis and #notcopingverywell…..!

  3. Imagine what I’m going through! This is the last day my daughter will be in single figures. She’s already informed me that she’s commencing adolescence and is therefore permitted to be moody.

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