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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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my dancing demons…

It’s amazing to realise that something that was horrific the first time can become normal by the third.

We are at the half way point; BB has lived for six weeks in spica. She has coped incredibly and has challenged every expectation we had of life in cast. She has crawled, flown down slides, swung in a see saw and ridden a carousel. Every time she smiles at me my already love struck heart manages to squeeze out another drop of joy.

Her prize for six weeks of spica?

Another general anaesthetic, an x ray, a bit of hip manipulation and a brand spanking new cast.

It’s her third anaesthetic in less than two years. The third time I have felt my daughter fall limp in my arms. It doesn’t slap me like an insult any more, I know what to expect. I know she will be fine. I know it is an unpleasant necessity.

But still in the minutes that pass whilst I sit beside an empty hospital cot the demons of my mind began their merry dance. “What if it goes wrong” one whispers, “what if they can’t wake her up” twirls another, “what if, what if, what if” they tap dance in unison.

I barely breathe whilst she is away, my stomach tosses and turns like an angry ocean, I fret, worry and wonder.

Then she returns, tired, beautiful encased in plaster from the waist down. The demons disappear silent, their mocking voices silenced by the appearance of my wonderful, healthy child.

The third time wears the mask of normality but still scares you shitless all the same.

Six more weeks to go, till this chapter ends and our story continues…

I am nominated for a couple of parenting blog awards which I would love to win, if you enjoy reading this little blog please read my post on the awards and to nominate your winners please click here

Comments

  1. ecbradley says

    March 26, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Oh goodness don’t we just know the drill by now. Half way there though. xx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm

      6.5 weeks to go

      Reply
  2. daysandtimesofme says

    March 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    well 50% through. dont know what else to say
    in other news i have just voted for your blog…………..

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm

      Thanks !

      Reply
  3. helloitsgemma says

    March 26, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    sending love, I will be thinking of you both. X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm

      cheers mrs x x x

      Reply
  4. farfromhomemama says

    March 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Poor little thing. I imagine you’re counting down the days down. x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      and the minutes….

      Reply
  5. Michelle Shafer Marine says

    March 26, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Good! It’s done. And on you go. Sending healing thoughts for your sweet family.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      Thanks Michelle x

      Reply
  6. Charlotte says

    March 26, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    We have just has the same. My daughters fourth GA in six months. I hate them more and more. Hopefully her last cast though this time! Hope it is your daughters last one too.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      Fingers crossed, hope all goes well for you x

      Reply
  7. mothersalwaysright says

    March 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Nearly there. Sending love xxx

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Thanks

      Reply
  8. anna tims (@ageingmatron) says

    March 26, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Beautifully expressed. What a long journey for the pair of you. My daughter has to have a general anaesthetic next month and I found it a peculiar comfort to find my own fears articulated by someone else.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 26, 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Every mother in the ward today shared the same expression, fear before the GA, tears after and intense relief when their child was back in their arms.

      Reply
  9. Ellie says

    March 26, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Very glad to hear you’re both happily on the other side. Is the cast the same? Our turn tomorrow… X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 27, 2012 at 7:24 am

      Bit tighter and wider but yes the same, good luck for today x x

      Reply
  10. I Heart Motherhood says

    March 26, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    stay strong! I think you’ve both amazing! x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 27, 2012 at 7:25 am

      Awww thanks chicken x

      Reply
  11. Older Mum (@Older_Mum) says

    March 27, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Really really touched.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 27, 2012 at 5:20 pm

      Thanks 🙂

      Reply
  12. sarsm says

    March 29, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I can’t imagine ever getting used to it. Akasha had two around that age too and it was awful. Wishing you and BB all the best. Hugs.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 29, 2012 at 9:07 pm

      Thank you xxxx

      Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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