Am I a prude?

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The social evolution of acceptable behaviour never ceases to amaze me.

Today, sitting on the train, minding my own business, catching up on emails I looked up and caught the gaze of the chap opposite me. It was only a momentary glance, but on first opinion it was a glance worth having. Well groomed, tanned face, nice clothes, good hair; were I not been a happily married lady I may well have purred in approval…

Then I suddenly tore my eyes away and a loud “tut” escaped from my throat rather than the moan that was threatening to shame me.

Whilst looking me in the eye, this dashing chap developed an itch, an itch that caused him some clear discomfort. Thus to alleviate his pain I unwillingly witnessed him take his right hand and use it to pull at the waistband of his shorts, then his left hand went down into the freshly created gap between flesh and fabric. A short fumble later where his willy wobblers were popped back into place out slid his hand, the waistband snapped back into place and he looked all nice and comfy again. Shortly after he exited the train using his left hand to press the button to open the doors…

Ewwwwwwww.

Its wasn’t pleasant to watch; and in my opinion not good train etiquette.

When getting a tickle in my upper thigh I don’t take my hand and have a merry scratch near my “little flower”. I don’t even like scratching my nose in public in case people think I am trying to remove anything that resides inside my nostrils.

But no etiquette police came dashing through the carriage to arrest my fiddling fellow and no one else seemed to echo my “tutting” reaction.

Am I becoming a prude?

51 thoughts on “Am I a prude?”

  2. Maybe it wasn’t an itch. Maybe the sight of the comely young mother opposite him caused him a temporary inconvenience. Either way, such adjustments should never be carried out in public places without gloves.

  3. Haha…this is exactly why I try with all my might note to touch anything when I’m on the tube! I get heart palpitations if the train jolts and I forced to grab a hand rail! Yuk!

  7. Forget bad train etiquette, that’s bad etiquette full stop. I never cease to be amazed at the number of men who freely adjust their bits right in front of everyone, but I’ve never before seen one of them dive right on in and have a good rummage. Yucksville, in fact, double yucksville.

  9. Totally gross – and I think it’s normal, not prudish to be freaked out by it. I’ve noticed a very odd trend around Dublin in the past year or two, with track suit-wearing guys walking around with their hands down their pants. If I saw my own toddler doing that I’d say he had some excuse. But often these are grown men. Bizarre and disgusting.

    • To be fair us ladies don’t know what it feels like to have all that going on and jiggling around between your legs, maybe it falls off if you don’t touch it hourly?

  10. That’s gross. I am the same as you in not even scratching my nose. To have a fiddle around with his willy in public is just not nice. I just hope he kept himself clean at least…

  18. Totally agree. Last week my 8 year old had a “thread wedgie” – piece of loose thread cutting him in two. I wouldn’t let him stop and adjust it in the middle of the street, but I have to admit it was hilarious seeing him trying to make it 50 yards to the house!

  19. If that bothered you, you shouldn’t leave the house without a HAZMAT suit. Practically every doorknob you’ll ever touch in your life has come into contact with a hand that’s been handling “junk” at some point. One of things you just have to ignore. Like public toilet seats.

  20. that is exactly why I used anti-baterical handwash after public transport and NEVER eat peanuts from a bowl on a bar.
    AND A above – when weeing in public toilets sometimes it’s better to hoover a bit.
    good handwashing counters a lot – trust me I once wrote a policy on it and is much cheaper than a HAZMAT suit.

  21. No you’re not a prude. Why would he need to scratch? Maybe he had crabs. Ewwww.

    When I took Joni to Paris a few years ago, for some mother daughter bonding, two horrid things happened.
    First a man who stank (and I don’t mean BO, more rotting flesh) approached us and everyone else on the train holding out his hand for money. We looked down and saw through his sandals that his feet actually were rotting. I felt very sorry for him how can it be in such a rich country someone can be in such a state?

    Secondly, we were in a busy underground (I made sure we only used them until around 7pm and I tried to always stick with the crowd) then we turned off to find our platform and suddenly we were alone. Joni was chatting away, while I just kept glancing all around me in a very protective way. I spotted security cameras and after a few seconds a man in the distance. He walked fast and started to catch us up. I kept glancing behind me and keeping an eye on him, as he got nearer, I wondered at first what he was doing then I realised he was pleasuring himself! I grabbed Jo’s arm and told her not to look behind her but to walk as fast as she could and to be prepared to run. He followed us to the platform where there was only one other solitary female passenger. As others started to arrive he left.

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