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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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how not to play with your children…

He who helped create them took Twin girl and BB out for a walk yesterday to allow me some peace and quiet to sort out our tea. I tried to focus on peeling and chopping vegetables, but before long I found myself wielding a chipped wooden sword fighting a short shaggy haired pirate who was armed with glow in the dark light sabre.

Abandoning the carrots I pivoted on my heels and jabbed the air mercilessly around my son shouting “ya’ha ya scoundrel, trying to poach my veggies are ye?”

After we jousted twice round the lounge, over the sofas, under the table and into the kitchen my little pirate friend announced he was bored of carrot stealing and riding the waves on the Jolly Rodger and was going to die at the hand of my trusty wooden sword; but not to worry as he was coming back to life as a spy.

Whilst he lay dead on the halfway point of our stairs he requested that I hid my mobile phone and set a series of clues so his reincarnated spy self could solve a mystery and save my phone from the silent criminals that lurk in the shadows of our home.

I scurried upstairs and selected a hiding place for my HTC android behind the daffodils in the loo and I quickly wrote the word TOILET on a piece of paper and cut out each individual letter and hid them separately around the lower floor of our home.

As the short pirate took his last breath a little shaggy haired 007 took his first and I was faced with a mastermind spy standing in my kitchen ready to solve a crime.

Holding a notepad and slightly chewed pen he paced the rooms looking for letters. He looked under the sofa, on the chairs, even within the dust that lives behind the cupboard that no one moves.
Suddenly, jubilant in his expression he reached behind the photo of his dad and I marrying and grabbed a small square of paper.

“T” he exclaimed with a smile edging at his lips.

The hunt continued…

He sauntered to the newspaper basket and cried “T again; interesting.”

His eyes peeled he cruised the room looking for the next clue. His eyes fell on the fruit bowl and narrowed as he saw a tip of white hiding behind a yellow banana.

“Hmmmm,” he pondered “an I”

Then he grinned the smile of a super sleuth.

“I know it,” he declared triumphantly “I know where the phone is…”

“It’s in your TIT isn’t it mummy.”

“Where is your TIT?”

Next time we are left alone together we are playing snap…

Comments

  1. anna tims (@ageingmatron) says

    February 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Why are other mummies so much more patient and cooperative and motherly than I am?!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      seriously was a rarity and the kid learnt a new word!

      Reply
  2. wibbly wobbly says

    February 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Chuckling away to myself – lovely!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 6:55 pm

      Tb says thanks

      Reply
  3. The Mad House says

    February 28, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Brazilians yesterday and tits today, what are you teaching your children!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      The tone is being lowered over here Jen x

      Reply
  4. Donna@MummyCentral says

    February 28, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    At least he doesn’t know where your tit is. Long may that continue!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      That is a fantastic point!

      Reply
  5. mothersalwaysright says

    February 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Hilarious, as ever. At least he didn’t shout “Boobies!” in the changing room at swimming while you were getting changed. He’s rather restrained really isn’t he?!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      Terribly

      Reply
  6. melanie molloy says

    February 28, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    ha! Love it! x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:06 pm

      Thanks x x x

      Reply
  7. Tea&Biscotti says

    February 28, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    Funny, just read this out to my husband as he was interested in why I was laughing.. depending on how big they are, some women do actually hide their phones there! Smart boy! 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Ha! not here lady

      Reply
      • Tea&Biscotti says

        February 28, 2012 at 10:31 pm

        thankfully not here either but somewhere there are millions of phones dying to get out! 🙂

        Reply
        • janeblackmore says

          February 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm

          If I popped mine in that area it could be weeks before I find it again…

          Reply
  8. Jennifer Wilck says

    February 28, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    Love it!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Thanks x

      Reply
  9. fab40foibles says

    February 28, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Great!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 29, 2012 at 8:57 am

      Thanks

      Reply
  10. sarahmumof3 says

    February 28, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    hehe how funny… but what a good spy game that is… makes note to play that with mine sometimes – avoiding all words that anograms are rude!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 28, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Stick with table and chair – they are safe!

      Reply
  11. richmondmummy says

    February 28, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    HahahahahHa too funny – even had to read it out to Richmond Daddy who also laughed out loud x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 29, 2012 at 8:10 am

      Always happy to oblige! X x x

      I much prefer being funny!

      How’s you?

      Reply
      • richmondmummy says

        February 29, 2012 at 8:38 pm

        You are funny… and, you are OUTSTANDING… is that a clue… BIB! 🙂
        I’m well thanks, work has calmed down a lot so am feeling a bit more on top of things and a bit less battle weary! xx

        Reply
        • janeblackmore says

          March 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

          Good and thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

          Reply
          • richmondmummy says

            March 2, 2012 at 8:49 pm

            you are most welcome x

  12. helloitsgemma says

    February 29, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    That was almost craft? do you know that? cutting out each individual letter… clearly you are not cut out for craft in any form.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      I am a failure!

      Reply
  13. Love and Enterprise says

    February 29, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    That’s really funny and I do like your blog. Hope you don’t mind being down south too much. If it’s any consolation, I was once a southerner stuck in the north!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      hmm I love the north, love it

      Reply
  14. ChocOrangeCityMum says

    March 1, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    You are a loon – love to see the kids following in your footsteps 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      Awww I think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me…

      Reply
  15. pigletinapoke says

    March 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Doesn’t everyone keep their phone in their tit? Just you and me then! Ha ha! So funny, but look on the bright side – at least he didn’t rootle around in the toilet bowl if he’d solved the clue!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      Fair point, well made! X

      Reply
  16. Bibsey Mama says

    March 1, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Am TITtering at the back here.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 1, 2012 at 6:00 pm

      No pun intended eh?

      Reply
  17. sarsm says

    March 2, 2012 at 8:44 am

    Priceless!!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      March 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      Ta x

      Reply

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