I am a survivor, I bear the wounds of battle but I am still here.
As I type I am also cuddling a large glass of Pinot Grigio, my award for successfully hosting a party for twenty-five children and successfully not losing or maiming even one of them. I feel behind my back that other mothers may call me a ‘responsible‘ host.
Twin boy and twin girl hit the big six today, it has been six years since they climbed via the sunroof into my life, six years since they taught me the overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, and six years of speedily gaining more wrinkles and grey hairs.
The day started with shrieks of excitement, and ended with hugs, some sobs and fights were endured through the course day but we have all come out the other side intact. The party was the focal event of the day, and I don’t mind telling you, it has been stressful to organise. First of all, our chosen venue had a restriction on the numbers of children we could invite; so I stupidly left the choice to my children who are known to change best friends with the same regularity that I change my knickers.
Following this decision, I went to help in school this week and found myself confronted by a sea of sad faces all looking at me to tell them why they hadn’t been invited. I tried to explain to these innocent eyes that I could only have twenty-five children, and three of those had to be my own, so it wasn’t my fault, it was the venues…. I seemed to be winning the sympathy vote until one little mite slipped her hand into mine and said
‘can I come to the party please’,
I bent to her size and started to explain my tale of woe and began to transfer blame to the gym where the party was to be held, I saw sympathy in the child’s eyes for my predicament; that was until Twin Boy marched up, bundled in and declared….
‘you’re not coming because my mummy said your mummy didn’t reply till the last minute last time, so you are off the list.’
Shit, shit, shit: an army of schoolchildren looked at me with accusation in their eyes and I left the playground wrapped in a cloak of shame.
So whilst studiously avoiding the playground for a week I have prepared for the party, the party bags have been wrapped, the cakes bought (sorry mum), and an indecent amount of chocolates and sweets have sat in bags in my cupboards waiting for their time to shine. I only consider a party a success if the children take a week to come down from the sugar rush.
Then it began, they played, they jumped, they danced, they partied, on the whole it went pretty darn well. Twin girl suffered a minor upset when a girl friend tried to break free from her game and introduce a new idea; twin girl ran to me sobbing, dramatically clutching her neck and she hiccupped ‘she wont do what she is told and I have had to raise my voice and now it is hurting my throat.’
Twin boy also suffered a moment of sadness which involved a tantrum any two-year old would be proud of. As I lit the candles on his football cake one party guest decided to sing…..
Happy Birthday to you, stick your head down the loo
My little thug of a son didn’t feel this was appropriate birthday party conduct so he retaliated by throwing his arms in the air and wailing like a baby just born; embarrassing at the time but some of the pictures are simply quite priceless.
Then it was over, the presents lay unwrapped looking to find a home within a house that was recently kissed by Christmas and all its gifts. The wrapping paper lays bundled in a corner and all my babies are sleeping. I am now a mother of three six and under, my small ones are growing into medium-sized treats and whilst this road of parenting we started on six years ago shows no sign of smoothing out into an easy ride it shows many a signal of taking on new forms of fun.
Happy Birthday M and O, words cannot even begin to describe how much I adore you and how when you entered my life you changed it and made it, simply, better.
Sleep tight…
(and for the love of god don’t get up before eight!)
You did a good job!
thanks
well done for surviving…a glass of Pinot well deserved…..do the twins go to drama school? if they don’t they really should…they are ace!
x
they dont need schooling! they excel in drama
love it, we’ve decided to party share this year(my twins first year at school) we’ll see how that goes, i’m definately with you on the party bags though………..i hate them………….
i am gsining a following on that front….
Wow 25 kids you deffo deserve that vino
last year it was 60……
A much deserved glass of wine I think! Rather you than me 😉
your time will come!
Hope you polished the bottle off! Oh the angst of not being invited to a birthday party – brought back memories!
to be fair I felt awful, but not bad enough to have a bigger party
Hell. On. Earth congratulation on surviving the Krypton Factor that is Party Politics as they are known here, sink your wine and thank the Lord there is only one birthday per child, or case of twins 2 children per year, the odds are good on recovering ready for the next one x
That is my saving grace, I get to run a joint party!
You did well, fellow party sufferer, you did well.
I drank an entire bottle of wine to celebrate the end of my little angel’s party and have been suffering in the doing childcare with a hangover zone all day….
BUT I don’t need to do it again. Until May that is… wonder if I can get away with a trip to the cinema with 2 friends instead.
not for a seven year old….
you will be in party hell in 5 months!
Well done you. DD3 turns 6 next Saturday, but we are having the party one week late due to hall availability. I doubt I’ll be able to go anywhere near a keyboard afterwards, so well done you!
wine jacq! curer of all evils! x
Well done for surviving! I am quite looking forward to having parties, just need to get the house renovated first!
Don’t decorate before!
WOW I thought I had it bad. You are my top surviving mum of the day
Thanks (can I have a medal?) X
Ouch!!
I screwed up the last party.
We spent weeks (the one who would be 5 and I ) talking about who to invite and then I carefully planned out the perfect princess party including seating arrangements, paper plates, colouring in sets, plastic champagne glasses, the works. We delivered the invitations and then a mother of an uninvited child told me her child would also like to attend. I’m not even an acquaintance of this woman, so I was a little taken aback and just nodded my head. In a speechless, stunned kind of disbelief.
I convinced myself that everyone would fit (we’d also invited 1 guest to many, but I had assumed someone wouldn’t turn up, and my little birthday princess had a lot of trouble deciphering between possible guests), but I was being optimistic. All the guests arrived promptly, as is the German way. Including the two extras.
We started off with another German tradition – cake. Then, I avoided sugar and offered fruit, salami, bread sticks and the like to keep some semblance of control. Then right before they left, we encouraged greed and gluttony over a chocolate fountain. Just so they’d have enough energy to be able to run home, you understand.
Of course, everyone needs a bit of chocolate induced energy!
we forgot one girl that i adore – I am gutted
“Stick your head down the loo” << Brilliant ! It's my husband's birthday next month and this is totally what I'm going to sing to him.
you will be pleased to know that it goes on:
Happy birthday to you,
stick your head down the loo
I know its disgusting
happy birthday to you
Pure poetry that is.
Talented these five year olds
I am so glad I’m not the only one who has to put up with drama queens and tantrums. Even if mine is only 18 months old. Belated Happy Birthday to Twin Girl and Twin Boy. We love you! (from Molly and Freya).
right back at ya babe x
you are some kind of party genius – I may need to hire you for future children’s parties.
Hurrah for you!
I am expensive mrs, have you seen the price of gin lately?