We are not regular churchgoers, there are many reasons as to why this is but I don’t think this blog is the best place for me to start a debate on the philosophy of religion.
However I am fickle and I do like a good carol. So it is around this time of year that we wrap up warm and toddle off to the local place of worship.
Last night found myself, twin boy and twin girl on a pew all eagerly grasping song sheets. Twin girl poked me on the arm asking where Rudolph was and I attempted to explain that Rudolph was not officially regarded as a “carol”.
The vicar assumed his place at the front and silence fell in the aisles, except for twin girl asking with an edge in her voice “does that mean Jingle Bells is out too as Jesus isn’t in that?”
The twins remained rather unimpressed with the first choice of song. But ignorant to their dismay the organ churned into life and the congregation began…
“O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem;
Come and behold him, born the King of angels;”
As the silence between verse and chorus rested twin girl loudly sighed “mummy is this french, are they singing in french?”
Ignoring the looks from the crowd I sang on regardless but decided to whisper the words before singing them to my vocal children. The chorus passed and the next verse began…
“God of God, light of light,
Lo! He abhors not the Virgin’s womb…”
And there as the congregation inhaled in silence, mustering up breath for the next line of the carol, twin boy decided to speak in his extra loud church voice…
“Mummy, what’s a virgin? Are you a virgin?”
You just don’t get these questions with Rudolph and Jingle Bells….
ali says
Ha ha brilliant!
janeblackmore says
TB thanks you
Middle-aged Matron says
I’m agog to know your reply! Having been brought up in a very high church surrounded by plaster Marys I was about 18 when I realised that virgin wasn’t another word for saint. This was a dismaying discovery since I had a distinct memory of my younger self, when protesting my innocence over something in class, declaring facetiously that I couldn’t have been the culprit because I was a virgin.
janeblackmore says
hehehehe!
wish I had seen that.
and my reply was silence!
speccy says
How did the rest of the congregation react? Surely there must have been giggles? Though it’s likely that the sound of all the blood in your body rushing to your face would have drowned them out …
janeblackmore says
I dont know, I studied the floor for a good ten minutes!
Red Rose Mummy says
At our Carol Service on Sunday Bud spent the entire time making a bid for the back of the church (we were about halfway down) as he had spotted some ‘books’ there. Not sure if he would have been impressed if he had got to the bibles there, not too many pictures in them!
janeblackmore says
lol – x
Lorraine Berry says
Lol! Reminds me of the time my brother asked me very loudly in front of my mum, dad and Nan if I was a virgin – we were quite young at the time and I hadn’t got a clue what it meant, other than it might be a bit “naughty”! I ignored him, but he kept asking louder and louder until my grinning dad said well are you? I still kept quiet, so they asked my brother, who proudly replied, “no, I’m a Taurus!”
janeblackmore says
I love your brother – awesome come back
PushyMother says
Oh dear, oh dear. That is very funny. It reminds me of another Christmas Eve service. My husband had a little hardbacked notepad in his breast pocket. During a v quiet prayer, daughter (then a toddler) asked at full toddler volume: “Daddy, why is your nipple big and hard?”
janeblackmore says
What did Daddy say?
Fabulous
A. says
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Kelly Wiffin says
I think your twins are wonderful! The amount of times that they have made me laugh!
janeblackmore says
would you like one of them? x
teawithonesugar says
Mmmm I am taking this experience and not taking any of mine for carol service this year….
janeblackmore says
does that put my blog under the educational category?
mothersalwaysright says
Brilliant! That boy is comedy gold. x
janeblackmore says
He is rather stunning!
Mrs TeePot says
*Just* what you need in a Church! lol!
janeblackmore says
Can always rely on my kids!
Grannymar says
Thank you that made my night, I do have similar experiences , but am laughing far too much to type!
janeblackmore says
Glad I made you smile x
Notmyyearoff says
Haha!! Im imagining the word “virgin” echoing all down the hall!
janeblackmore says
How I wish I were only imagining