Her eyes became fixed, her face relaxed and somewhere inside her small, perfectly formed little head her mind wandered off casually for a moment or two. Taking BB to her secret place that only her and her epilepsy know about. A smile broke out upon my face, for the first time knowing my daughter was having an epileptic absence made me happy.
Absences for epileptics are short seizures where no actual visual “fitting” occurs but they become unresponsive to touch and sound and literally retreat into their own little world.
I imagine BB’s secret world to be filled with lakes full of breast milk and a moon made from chocolate buttons. Where walking is outlawed and all residents move around on their bottom, shuffling from one place to the next. The sun is always shining and tame tigers roam the land stopping for a cuddle at a toddlers request. This is where I hope my daughter goes when she leaves me for those few seconds everyday.
Normally I don’t express rapture when BB goes to her secret world, but today BB has a series of electrodes glued onto her scalp. During the gluing process my incredibly brave seventeen month old daughter giggled and played whilst chomping down on chocolate; I don’t think I could have remained as calm should someone choose to glue numerous things to my hair. Each red, yellow, green and blue wire will record each idea, dream, thought and seizure she has over the next 48 hours; and we caught an absence almost as soon as we left the hospital.
If the EEG has recorded it, it will help to ensure that BB takes the right medication daily and hopefully will help us lock the gate to BB’s secret world so she stays with us, in our world, all the time.
I am sure she will miss the tame tiger but I can promise her all the milk, chocolate buttons and bottom shuffling she can take in the real world.
Let’s hope it works…