Breastfeeding: Yes I still am…..

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Yes I still am…. 

Not that it really relates to you, but yes I am.

Whilst I appreciate you may think she is too old, I am of the opinion that she isn’t and she seems to agree.

I am confused as to why so many of you have an opinion, why you spend time debating it, writing articles about it, why you even really care.

Does it matter?

Would you be happier if we both stopped doing something we both seem to love?

Can you tell me a better way to comfort my child when she is tired?

Can you give me something that makes me smile more first thing in the morning?

Can you tell me another better way that I can try and reduce her cancer risks for when she is older that I can physically provide at this age?

Can you tell me truly what it is that I am doing to offend?

I don’t understand why you need to know when I am stopping?  But to clear it up; I really don’t know, I suppose when one of the two of us doesn’t want to do it anymore.

It is not a big deal; much more is going on in the world to be angry about or up in arms over.

She is seventeen months not seventeen.

Breastfeeding a toddler; may not be your choice; but really it is not a big deal.

Doesnt seem to be doing her any harm….

Beautiful Baby

113 thoughts on “Breastfeeding: Yes I still am…..”

  1. Great post. I’m breastfeeding my 19mo, I keep waiting for him to self wean but he loves it so much I think it will be a while before he voluntarily gives up! People have stopped expressing an opinion about it because I’m not interested. He loves it, I love it. It is good for both of us and the WHO recommends it for up to the age of 2. Where is the issue?

  2. You know I often wonder if there’s something us moms don’t get judged for. If we don’t BF we’re judged, if we don’t do it long enough we’re judged and of course as you’ve described if we do it too long we’re judged. We can’t win with others but it sounds as though you’re winning with yourself and your daughter. I don’t think you could ask for anything more.

  4. I hope my comment in your previous blog asking if u were ‘still’ breastfeeding BB didn’t offend u? As I said before I plan on feeding baby wizard beyond 12 months and was interested to hear your experience and responses to others who have an opinion.

    Totally agree about other people’s opinions on this topic just not being relevant. Even now, baby wizard is 13 weeks and certain family members are already asking when I plan to stop. I feel like responding “What’s it to u love? Does it significantly impact your life if I answered tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year?” At the moment I have no intentions of stopping before 12 months- this might change, but like you say, when you stop it’ll be on your terms (or bb’s) and nobody elses. There is nothing more natural, rewarding and beautiful than feeding your own child and the benefits for them are just priceless.

    Yet another inspiring post.
    Xx

  6. bf my eldest to 7 mths, stopping due to illness and incorrect advice from a (supposed) health professional, and currently bf youngest who is 7 mths. With the first, I didn’t have a plan on how long I would feed for. I didn’t really think about it. Now I am aiming for at least a year with Chubs to avoid formula completely and I will be happy if that is achieved and if we go over, so be it. I
    If you’d have asked me 3 years ago about extended bf ()

      • Please don’t be offended for me asking this but I hope there’s a place for a question like this – first off, go you! I think it’s great you are still bf’ing if that’s what works best for you and I truly LOVE the non-judgmental sentiment you are promoting here. I bf’d both my kids and plan to do the same for my future children. My question about the comment made by Kate about about breastfeeding children until they are aged 6-8. I find it hard to understand why people would choose to feed a child til beyond school age and so I was wondering if you could help me with this. I would genuinely like to understand because while it does seem a bit unnatural to me (yes, I said “unnatural” but please know I am talking about bf’ing school aged children here and if anyone wants to roast me for that I’ll cop it) I am sure people have reasons for doing it and so I’d genuinely like to understand. Ok..over to you. x

        • I don’t know anyone who has bf that long, but it does happen. I can’t call it unnatural but in my view it is out of the ordinary, like the parent who chooses to allow their child to give up nappies and is still wearing them past toddlerdom. I think a comment on here earlier from the lady who used to think bf past one was wrong and fed her third child till she was five gives some understanding. It is comfort and a habit, one that does no harm to a child (except perhaps from the view and perception socially) and health wise it does a lot of good.

          In short I don’t really know!

          But I never thought I would bf past six months and yet here I am. Hence why I am not declaring a day when I intend to stop.

          Pop by in four years, if I am still going I will have lots of answers for you! Until then see what the others have to say. X

      • I’m not 100% sure why women bf past school age. I can’t see Chubs and I going over 2 but would never say never. I would imagine the child never self weans and Mum is happy to carry on (I think perhaps its more Mum’s needs which influence extended bf to ages above toddlers) so they don’t stop until the child loses their sucking reflex. It’s interesting that the sucking reflex is lost and perhaps extended bf is more natural than we think????

  7. What a brilliant post on as you say, I way too heavily debated subject. I stopped breastfeeding my son when he was one for a number of reasons. Some were personal but I’m ashamed to say I was a teeeeeny bit fed up of all the questions about when I was ‘giving up’ (like it was some sort of addiction!). Well done for not giving a damn. I have honestly missed breastfeeding my boy every day since. Keep up the fabulous work, she is gorgeous!x

  9. Isn’t she gorgeous! I fed all mine until they were between one and two (and a bit!). Loved it despite the constant ‘jokey’ comments about when I was going to stop. I can’t remember much about the stopping on any of them which tells me that it just happened naturally. Enjoy it while you still have it!

  11. Oh I remember feeling like this or more to the point other people making me feel like this.

    I don’t think we were given breasts so the retail market had another bit of clothing we had to buy, or for guys entertainment (sorry guys!) but actually for what your doing with them.

    I stopped feeding Oscar when he was about 21 months, mine and his choice and no-one elses.

    BB is so gorgeous and yes looks fab on it!!! xxxx

  12. Great post – I fed all mine until they were past two years and they all have a healthy attitude towards food and are bright and intelligent!
    I very much think it’s a personal decision and if you are happy to continue then good for you.

  13. BB is such a beautiful and contented-looking child 🙂 I didn’t breast-feed and may blog about it one day, but one of my close friend’s continued until her kids wanted to stop and it was brilliant! I can’t understand why anyone would knock something so natural if it us working for mother and baby x (sorry about typos can’t change without retyping)

  14. Your beautiful juice seems to have been working wonders!

    (when did she get so big?!)

    Lyra turns two (eep!) on Friday and we’re still going. Much to the disgust of the world at large.

  15. Amen to that.

    Mummy milk is still the best thing in No 3’s world. It makes everything better, it’s a chance to regroup while discovering (and demolishing) his little world, and – as you say – it had health benefits for us both too. Why would I stop?

    The other two self weaned at 14 and 24onths respectively, so I’m certainly in no hurry. I’m not militant about it, and -shamefully – too bashful to heed in public anymore as he’s so big, but the “still?!” comments do annoy me…

  16. aww such a sweetie and you continue breastfeeding for as long as you want I agree its confussing why people are so bothered. I breastfeed all mine and my eldest self weaned around 19 months 🙂

  17. Brilliant post. I am still breastfeeding Little A and she is nearly 22 months. It makes her happy and secure, and she can stop in her own time. I am sick and tired of people including my OH asking me when I am going to stop.

  20. I hate to admit it but I was once a mother who thought breastfeeding beyond a year was ‘blah’. I had two children, one who stopped feeding at 9 months, the other was a guzzler and ended up going from breast to bottle. THEN I happened to give birth to a little girl later on in life when the other two were 10 and 8. The bond between us was was immense, I had time to give her attention that I had never seemed to have with the other two. We would snuggle on the settee and she would feed and I would snooze. I loved it and so did she. She gave up the week before she turned 5! I never thought I would be a mother that breastfed for that long, and had always been abhorrent to those that did, but I now sit on the other side of the fence, and would say that it is nobody’s business but your own how long you feed your baby for. It is what suits you and BB. Even though I look back and think it probably was a ‘wee bit too long’ I don’t regret it for a minute. We still have that bond and it’s fantastic.

  21. Freddy is 28 months and we’re still going strong. I’m waiting for him to self wean, I am happy to continue until then. Why it’s anyone else’s concern I don’t know. People seem so threatened by extended feeding, whereas in some cultures it is revered. I’ve received some ‘jokey’ comments from friends that have been truly offensive and sickening, but I’ve shrugged them off. Pity that people can’t just accept our choice to do what is natural until baby decides otherwise. x

  22. Blimey you must have some excellent milk!! I wish I could have gone longer. I miss it sometimes! In the Asian community (well, the ones i know anyway!) it’s “normal” to bf till 2 at least. Your baby, your business completely!!

  23. I’m so with you on this post. I honestly don’t understand why a) so many other people are bothered/interested and b) why they feel qualified to tell me to stop.

    Baby Badger is 17 months also. She wakes up in the morning ready for boob and generally goes to sleep with it too (although if I’m not available she’ll happily nod off with a cuddle from Daddy instead – rod for my own back I think not…).

    I have to admit that this weekend has been trying (and slightly uncomfortable) as she’s cutting her incisors and has spent almost every waking moment attached to me, but I’m also so glad that I’m able to comfort her and also nourish her as she’s refusing pretty much all food.

    When will we stop? When she’s ready.

    • Hi, I wondered if you were “still” going. Your pattern is similiar to mine and like you dad can also put her to bed.

      When she had her eeg this week the only was to comfort her ultimatly was me; not ready to stop that yet!

  24. Lovely post. I admire you and really hope that I can continue to breast feed for this long. With my other two daughters I ended up stopping early on because I was worried about how much they were getting. This time, armed with a whole load of information, I hope to continue on as long as baby L wants to. I don’t care what anybody says about that – like you, I can’t quite understand how it is anybody else’s business. I feel lucky that OH’s side of the family have all breastfed for well over the first year – most Nigerians do – so I will have lots of support from him.

  25. Oh no your not still at it, how disgusting!

    Surely you should be aiding and abetting the slaughter of baby cows by putting her on dairy.

    How very dare you!

    Seriously, I can’t believe how many people think kids are better off on milk from animals who aren’t their mother? Crazy world.

  26. I enjoyed reading the comments on this post as much as I enjoyed reading the post itself. I’m still feeding my 21 month old daughter, and really felt like it was just me until I found this post. I’m going to “favourite”it on Twitter to read when I have a small wobble.

  27. Yep, there’s nothing like that 1st cuddle and fed in the morning. Enjoy! Eldest sons now 11 and 9 self weaned at 2ish and 3rd son is enjoying morning and bedtime feed at 3 1/2. He shows no signs of stopping, I couldn’t imagine stopping something that gives him so much comfort. Curious as to how he will come to wean…

  32. Excellent post and great cohesive comments. I breast fed my kids for about a year but some of my friends did so for longer and one friend was still bf’ing when the child was 3. However her little boy would lift her jumper up whenever he fancied a nuzzle (such as whilst we were having coffee at the mall!) so it made it quite difficult for her at times. She was very baby led and hoped he’d give up by the time he went to nursery. I assume he did eventually give it up but having said that the California’s Mothers’ Milk Bank in the US says it has supplied about 28 adults with doctors’ prescriptions in the past four years. Apparently some adults suggest it helps in the fight against cancer.
    Breast milk is the most natural gift a mother can give her child, it ensures a healthy immune system and enables bonding. In fact breast milk is so highly sought of Icecreamists in Covent Garden apparently sell breast milk ice cream! They’ll pay £15 for every 10 ounzes and need more! LOL So you entrepreneurial mums out there could generate some income!

    But in seriousness, ‘feed on’ mothers. Your child, your breasts, your choice.

  33. Superb post Jane – people sticking their big fat conks into other peoples lives really irritates the hell out of me. It’s your body, your daughter and your choice. I BF for just over 6 months and I wish I had carried on with it longer. I think BFing is an amazing thing and something to be treasured. I plan on BFing this little one currently cooking in my tum (20 week scan tomorrow morning – eek!) and will probably go for longer this time until I feel ready to stop. Honestly, I just think some people have nothing better to do with their sorry little lives than mess into other peoples business.

    Oooh can you tell I’m pregnant and hormonal?

    xx

  34. Good on you! We nursed until 18 months with Littler (when I finally got utterly sick of pumping) and it was great for both of us. I found that spraying people with breastmilk when they had silly opinions about what I should or should not be doing worked quite well….

  35. Oh gosh reading this made me feel all nostalgic. I struggled a but with bf at first as DD and I didn’t gel straight away but when we did it was fab. Really miss it actually. I’m with you on not understanding why people actually give a damn what anyone else does though. I wonder if they feel insecure when someone doesn’t conform to their very particular, and very small, view of the world?

    • Hmm probably,

      And why does no one tell us really how hard it can be?

      I struggled hugely at first and kept asking if it would get easier and no one could answer me (health workers etc)

      To anyone reading; it does get easier, but yes can be bloody hard work at first!

  36. Do you think the questions are disapproving? Or is it genuine curiousness? Just wondering. M and I are still going – although he’s only five and a bit months so that’s not provoking comments yet…. L and I went for ten months until I wanted some new bras (yes, I am that superficial) and S and A and I only managed seven months but at that point they got too big to tandem feed and I hadn’t got the patience to do them one at a time and there was a wedding I wanted to go to that they weren’t invited to (see, superficial again).

    And this time, well, people are already asking me how long I’m going to feed for*. But, and maybe this is because he is still so young, I don’t think it’s critical. I think they’re just curious. And I think there is an element, because that’s what women do, of comparing themselves to me. Not necessarily in a bad way, just in an, oh, her legs are longer than mine but her tummy’s fatter way that we all (please say it’s not just me) do in the changing rooms….

    I admit, I’m fascinated by people who bf beyond say two just because I don’t know anyone who has, so if I were to meet you now (or at least prior to this post – seeing as you’ve given us the answer!), I would ask, but it wouldn’t be to be critical, just because I’m interested. And I suppose the point is that there isn’t an answer because of course, like everything else in parenting, we all do what’s right for us and our children for the reasons that are right for us and our children and which have nothing to do with anyone else…

    Doesn’t stop it being interesting though.

    ps doesn’t she look like you!?

    pps * likely answer – well, we’re thinking of going skiing without kids….

    • Hi Harriet,
      Most of the time the questions are inquisitive and thats fine, I am proud of feeding her for so long.

      A have a few repeat offenders who make harsh comments, often involving the word bitty and call me a freak, I am pretty thick skinned but it doesnt half get on my nerves.

      I must say if I was to meet someone who had bf past two I would have lots of questions but like you they would be well meaning.

      and yes she does look like me but prettier!

      also I dont wear nursing bras! cant stand them!

      and ski-ing…….. *jealous eyes*

      J x

      • Get on your nerves? I think I’d sock them one… That said, I do have a friend who’s just given up feeding her son (he’s about 1 and a half) and *he* called it “bitty”! Which we all found hilarious, but she was mortified by…!

        Thinking about this last night, I realised that if it were up to me (ie.skiing wasn’t on offer!) I would definitely feed M for longer than I had done any of the girls. I don’t wish I’d fed them for longer, I just can’t quite see myself ever feeling ready to give up this time. And I wonder, for me at least, if that’s partly to do with the fact that he’s my last, and I’ll never do this again. I suppose it’s to do with wanting to keep him as a baby for longer.

        I’m not suggesting this is what you feel, or indeed anyone else who’s commented, but I think someone else (can’t find it now) commented that long term (up to 5 or 6) bf might be more about the mother than the child, and I wonder whether I’m not the only one wanting to hang on to the baby stage for as long as I can…

        • I know what you mean, BB is my third and final baby, I want her to be my baby as long as possible (realise she may well be spoilt rotten as a result!). However having 5 year olds (non bf) it is hard to imagine how someone can percieve them as babies…. They talk too bloody much for a start!

  37. Great post, I’m still nursing my 21 month old, but mostly in private as I’m bored of the negative remarks people make. I love our milky cuddles morning, noon and night! I hope he continues!

  38. I BF my boy til he was 26 months. We only stopped because it felt like we should at that point. I think we could have kept going. We were down to just the bedtime feed but it was the most natural thing in the world. I cried for days after we stopped. I was mourning breastfeeding.

    Let people judge. They are blind and ignorant. They don’t realise the benefits it what you’re doing for your child. Nobody looks at animals in disgust as they feed their young.

    Two fingers in the faces of the stupid.

  39. Btw, I too had the ‘bitty’ comments and it used to really upset me. It was nobody else’s business. Fortunately for me, I have a partner who was all for breastfeeding and supported me every step of the way from the really rough start to the end.

    I’m also a trained BF peer supporter so was well aware of the benefits so was able to reel off those to anyone who did stick their oar in and disapprove of feeding past whatever they felt the correct time should be.

  40. I used to answer these parenting ‘concerned queries’ with “I haven’t killed any of them yet”. Can’t really do that any more. However – “seriously, do you think she’ll still be doing it when she’s 18?” seems to work well enough- at least it did with co-sleeping.

    People should shut up and back off I think. Josie, my latest breastfeeder, stopped spontaneously at 2 1/2 and never looked back.

    • Will try those!

      Tbh as said before most of the questions are inquisitive it is just the fools that like to declare she is too old without any relevance as to why that tend to iritate beyond belief! X

  41. Great post! I totally support your decision about stopping when it feels right for you. I am tandem feeding mine,little one is 22 months old and we are happy with that.It’s noone else’s business 😉 I love Muddling Along’s comment.x

  42. I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me because I haven’t read all these comments. I didn’t breastfeed Amy so I don’t really feel I have much to contribute to this post but when people have a problem with a woman breastfeeding her own child at whatever age, they seriously need to find something to do. There are just so many judgemental folk who think they have a right to poke their noses in other people’s business and lecture on the rights and wrongs of how our society should conduct themselves, with their own children. They irritate me, infuriate me and show themselves up for being the ignorant shallow minded fools that they are. Simply, it’s no one else’s business. End of.

    CJ xx

  48. It has helped me a lot to read this, Tas from Not My Year Off old me about it after reading a post that I wrote recently with the same title but different content. I am still breastfeeding my 13 month old but am starting to feel annoyed with everyone asking me when I am stopping, even my OH who has been really supportive up until now has told me he finds t weird. My little girl is nowhere near ready to stop though so I am carrying on until she is, it’s jut strange that although the WHO says to do it until 2, you rarely meet people who accept you still doing it until then. I know it shouldn’t matter what other people think but it annoys me! X

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