My grip is slipping, someone must have greased my fingers whilst I slept as my slight grasp on sanity is sliding away.
Either that or I have become the latest victim of school holidayitis.
I looked up the symptoms on google earlier. Apparently the signs to watch for are loss of patience, increase in temperature of the blood (almost to boiling point I’m told) sporadic bursts of temper followed by occasional bouts of yelling. Other side effects of this disease can include arguments with spouse over mundane matters, an un kept house and an almost obsessive addiction to going to the park.
To be fair in my part of the world this illness is spreading like an epidemic. I saw a mother close to tears in Tescos as she tried to do the weekly shop with three under ten year olds. It was obvious she had a severe case as her blood was visually boiling and her temper was out of control.
The parks are full of parents who are wondering around shouting randomly. I advise anyone who is not yet displaying symptoms of school holidayitis to stay the hell away from anywhere that has swings and slides; with the exception of public house beer gardens. It seems that for some reason the air surrounding these recreational play areas remains un contaminated.
I fear I have infected he who helped create them as well; either that or his patience has been copping off with my patience and they have legged it to Gretna Green together.
I spoke to the doctor, he can offer no cure, apparently it can take up to six weeks to shake off the ailment and it will probably get worse before it gets better. Ibruprofen and paracetamol are powerless in the face of school holidayitis.
Lock your doors, seal your windows, stay inside and pray for our swift recovery.
Keep us in your thoughts…
hmmmm. I seem to be suffering from all those…
and your kids arent yet at school!
next year you had better take precautions!
Crikey. Sounds bad. Maybe narcotics would help?
That could lead to a whole host of other issues
Hmmm, bugger. I display all the symptoms of school holidayitis every single day and no-one in this house is on holiday. Or at school…
there is no hope for you!
sorry 🙂
I knew I was coming down with something, you have hit the nail on the head! 😀
Thanks (and sorry to hear you are ill!)
Love it LOVE IT !
Why thanks.
Nothing works except wine. In large quantities. The longer school holidayitis goes on the earlier in the day you must turn to wine in order to combat it.
I could never live in the States with their 3 month long school holidays. I’d not survive past June.
I am finding that vodka or gin is best turned to when symptons are particulary bad….
Ah so far I have showed no symptoms but that’s because I’m still working and not taken any time off for the summer school holidays!
Your kids are not school age. You are immune….. X
Oh dear I think I may have a similar strain known as nursery school holidayitis -same symptoms smaller children. Dreadful…
You and kerry (see below) should hook up and try and find a cure…
Darn it. Too late. I seem to have all of those symptoms. But thanks for the reassurance that it wont last longer than 6 weeks.
I like that you found positivism in the post. Glass half full and all that!
I had a severe case today and sought sanctuary in Morrisons car park after husband came home from work. 45 mins of reading The Daily Telegraph in a sound proof car away from ANYONE and I was beginning to feel a lot better.
But tomorrow is another day, oh hell.
Love it!
Next time can I recommend you take the paper to the pub?
You nutter! Are you not at work then? Or is it even that bad you are affected on the weekends?
I have to say I am loving the holidays so far! but then my toll at home alone with all 3 kids does not start until Monday!
Mich x
Come back to me Monday Mrs….
I have nursery school holidayitis that is for sure. Truly dreadful!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I had a mild case of that last year. School holidayitis is far worse! 🙂
Loved your post! It really made me smile! You should be glad you don’t live in Canada or the States! We are in Vancouver and my kids have been off since the 28th June until 7th September! Even worse than that is the fact that kids don’t start kindergarten until they are 5! And this year is the first year that it is full-time! When my oldest daughter started kindergarten two years ago she went for 2 hours a day for half the year and 3 hrs a day for the second half. She didn’t start full time school until she was 6! It nearly killed me!
Honestly I have the shakes reading your comment. Do you get prescription drugs to cope with this? Are there help groups set up?
I have 1 day off with my 1 (who is like a heard of 30) and I can say it’s setting in. This is why I NEVER book more than 1 weeks annual leave during the Summer & I always do something. Love your blog it’s sooo funny! Once again got me laughing out loud 🙂
Why thanks!
So are you planning any more…..
(It does get worse!)
If that is planning anymore kids that’s a big fat NO! Lol I’m on countdown, almost 4 years to 16 and 6 years to FREEDOM!!!
Do you have an entire wall with the days on it that you cross off as you go?
I hear the symptoms can suddenly become more severe if it’s raining.
That’s very true, my other half was almost hospitalised last week after the Monsoons
There are a couple of relievers – gin/wine/vodka or health spa’s that state clearly in the window ‘No Kid’s Allowed’.
oooh good idea – i wonder if he who helped create them is reading?
Spare a thought for me, school hols last 3 months here.x
Come back to the UK Suze! x x x x