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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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one week to go

Regular readers of my blog will know that in just over a week me and my legs will be attempting to run (or crawl) around the london marathon with several thousands others in an attempt to raise money for charity.

Now don’t worry this is not yet another pitch for more cash (although if you do have any spare please pop along to my fundraising site) this is a post giving you the benefit of my experience as I have been stupid enough to run this race before.

Jane’s Marathon running tips

1. Its never too late to pay a friend to push you over and sprain your ankle. I would advise anyone who has not ran further than a half marathon to adopt this tactic and stop reading now.

2. Carbs are your friend; for the next week eat the following, potato with beans for breakfast, pasta with tuna for lunch, rice and beans for tea. Feel free to snack on raw potatoes at any point.

3. Take some old clothes to ditch at the start line; you can keep warm until you are ready to start and then just leave them at the side of the road and the Red Cross collects them for charity.

4. Emblazon your name all over your running shirt; nothing helps more when you are dying slightly inside at mile 22 than some unknown face bellowing out your name from the crowd.

5.Take some salted pretzels; trust me here; at mile twenty all salt will abandon your body at an alarming speed and weird salt deprivation pains will attack your thighs; spending a mile or so sucking on a little salted pretzel will do you no end of good.

6. Should the thought of squirting a gel pack of wet sticky into your mouth make you feel like vomiting take a glucose filled biscuit Booth and cut it into five pieces and reward yourself with a piece every five miles.

7. The night before and the morning of the marathon apply vaseline to your body and don’t stop until you resemble a sex toy. Boys; coat those nipples, nothing turns a lady off more than two matching red patches dripping down your chest.

8. If you are prone to blisters buy and apply Compeed; you may need to buy shares in Compeed at this point should you blister half as much as I do.

9. Do a rain dance daily between now and the seventeenth; if this sun continues the race is going to be hell!

10. Post marathon do not, I repeat do not attempt to walk up or down stairs in public for a week – you will shame yourself.

11. Smile! Completing a marathon gives you an incomparable feeling of ecstasy. You will almost instantly forget the suffering of the last 10k

That’s all folks, see you at the start….

Good luck

Comments

  1. Circus Queen says

    April 7, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Good luck and happy greasing up!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      Thanks x

      Reply
  2. Liz Fielding says

    April 7, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Good luck, Jane. Maybe you could ease the pain by having he who helped make them apply the vaseline?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      Liz! Tame that filthy mind!

      Reply
  3. Melissa says

    April 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

    I’m so excited for a week of pasta & resting! What start group are you in? I’m Blue

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      If I see one more pasta spiral….

      I am blue too x

      Reply
  4. Louisa says

    April 7, 2011 at 11:42 am

    hahahaha! Brilliant. good luck!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 1:31 pm

      Thanks will need it

      Reply
  5. mummy@bodfortea says

    April 7, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Not long to go now!! Very best of British Jane, I’ll be thinking of you on the day 😀

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      Thanks x x x

      Reply
  6. The Moiderer says

    April 7, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Good luck. I will bear those tips in mind if I ever decide to run a marathon. This is highly unlikely despite being something I’d actually quite like to do. Meanwhile I think you are bloomin amazing to do this!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      Oh go on! Misery loves company…

      Reply
  7. Sheena says

    April 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    good luck!!!!

    Reply
  8. mummy matters says

    April 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Good luck, I’m really hoping to do it next year or the year after so I shall be storing this post for information at a later date!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      thanks; if you want to run it next week feel free to have my spot

      Reply
  9. HELEN JESSUP says

    April 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    another funny post!
    Well done with all your training & good luck on the day

    Helen
    x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      Thanks helen and thanks for your kind sponsorship it means a lot x

      Reply
  10. MellyBentley says

    April 7, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    Good Luck!

    I have made a note of all this for when I do the race for life in June. I’m seeing it more as a slow amble through Leeds to be honest as I am *Cough* quiet unfit.

    I have mentioned you as a ‘Kreative Blogger’ as I am an avid reader, I wanted to share.
    http://positivecomplaining.blogspot.com/2011/04/getting-personal.html

    All the best for the run
    x

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 7, 2011 at 9:44 pm

      Wow, thanks melly x x

      Reply
  11. Blue Sky says

    April 7, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    The very best of luck: I did it in ’87 and I still think of it as one of the best days of my like 😀

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 8, 2011 at 7:09 am

      Thanks!

      Reply
  12. Blue Sky says

    April 7, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    That should’ve been life lol

    Reply
  13. Mcai7td3 says

    April 8, 2011 at 6:11 am

    Good luck next week! Could you wave at us if you’re on telly? 🙂

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      April 8, 2011 at 7:10 am

      of course i love to recongnise my public….

      Reply

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