international blogger right here

I always wanted to be an international something, if I am honest rockstar would have been my first choice but my inability to play guitar or hold a tune for any length of time means I must be content with my new self imposed title of international blogger.

I clearly deserve this title as today’s blog is brought to you from the pool side in fuerteventura. Me, he who helped create them, twin boy, twin girl and of course baby beautiful flew four hours round the world for some much needed sunshine.

(At this point may I pre warn any savvy burglars looking to leg it with my best china whilst I am away, one I don’t have any and two I left vicious nanny dog at home with a boarder to thwart your swag collecting fun)

So far the sun has shone and sensible sun cream application has ensured we all still look like an advert for the white company. Don’t panic I won’t come home this colour, if I don’t tan soon I will go for desperate oil application on the last day to ensure I come back the colour of Sebastian in The Little Mermaid.

Our evenings have been pretty funky, starting at seven when bb goes off to sleep in her buggy and the four of us ‘grown ups’ hit the all inclusive buffet. As it is all inclusive it is suddenly perfectly acceptable for twin boy to launch his apple juice over twin girl’s dinner as we just go get more. Likewise if you try something and its not to your delectable taste buds satisfaction we have no issues in simply removing the plate and choosing something else. After this we will have to re school the kids in restaurant etiquette.

We have to be out of the fatty food hall at eight because then the real fun kicks in as the disco starts. Twin boy and girl get a full hour of agadoo, the conga and superman whilst me and he who helped create them sit back with our miniature glasses of all inclusive local alcohol and try and engage in non child related conversation. This usually fails and we end up watching our two rather uncoordinated children get down and boogie with the other ‘they should be in school’ kids.

Bingo is at nine, and its tense, last night the prize was 180 euros, that’s serious cash on an all inclusive resort where most people only bring an extra twenty euros. In fact last night when someone called ‘house’ I could swear the old dear on the next table muttered ‘bitch’. The winner had to be escorted back to her room by Matt the children’s entertainer for fear she would be mugged carrying her bags of cash.

Ten o clock sees the grown ups dancing start but to be honest we force the kids to pretend to yawn so we can leave under the fake pretence that they are tired. The truth being me and he who helped create them are bloody knackered and need our blanketed beds.

Hope all is well back in blighty, must shoot giant jenga is about to start ~ hi de hi folks!