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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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The Funeral of my Social Life

Thank you all for coming on this terribly sad day,
To mark the occasion of my social life passing away.
It was a culmination of events that led to the death of my outgoing life,
Triggered by having children and becoming a wife.

So let us remember the good times and bad,
When my social life was active, oh what fun we did have.
We used to hang out in bars and dance all night long,
In those days I didn’t have to wear my big knickers as I could get away with a thong.

My social life’s illness started off slow,
Wearing high heels was the first thing to go.
Wild nights out with friends are replaced by family meals down the pub,
But we have to be home before seven to get the kids in the tub.

Evenings out drinking have been firmly cast aside,
As two pregnancies ensures my alcohol tolerance has also died.
Nights at the cinema still happen but quite frankly that’s hell.
Instead of watching the latest blockbuster the last thing I watched was bloody Tinkerbell.

So now my evening consists of playing on facebook and twitter,
We would love to go out but have you seen the price of a sitter?
So social life has croaked out its very last breath,
At just 33 it seems to be such an untimely death.

Get out your tissues and let the tears flow,
My social life is gone its been replaced by nights in with play doh.
I solemnly scatter its remains into the earth,
Looking forward to one day when it will get a rebirth!

Oh yes because when the kids can stay home all alone,
And I can access their every movements using GPS on the phone.
Then ladies and gents we are having a do,
So I will see you down the pub in two thousand and twenty two.

Thanks for coming, please sign the book of condolence in the comments box before you leave.

Comments

  1. jumpingbean says

    October 9, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    My condolences… I have vague memories of a social life too. See you in two thousand and twenty two!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 9, 2010 at 7:16 pm

      Its going to be one hell of a night out! Will try and make it past ten!!!!

      Reply
  2. Pass the Chablis... it's 5pm says

    October 9, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear such sad news. I too have succumbed to polar neck knickers. An exciting night involves a chocolate orange. So rock and roll.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 9, 2010 at 8:18 pm

      The sad thing is, as I read chocolate orange I got excited! Social life still firmly dead

      Reply
  3. Becky says

    October 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    I will come and join you for the eventual big night out! Will be spending my 40th next week doing all the school runs….

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 9, 2010 at 8:20 pm

      Throw in a drop off kids party and a taxi service to dance and swimming lessons and you will have one heck of a time!

      Reply
  4. Vik says

    October 9, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    My heartfelt condolences, I too have suffered this way.
    My birthday night out this year is going to be the school carol concert! A cup of tea & a mince pie in the village hall isn’t exactly cocktails & fine dining……

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 9, 2010 at 10:32 pm

      Hey look on the bright side, its a night out!

      Reply
  5. TheMadHouse says

    October 10, 2010 at 12:36 am

    I resemble this!

    Reply
  6. victoria morris says

    October 10, 2010 at 9:19 am

    Love it!

    Reply
  7. Heather - Notes From Lapland says

    October 10, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    In loving memory of your social life, may it rest and peace until it rises from the ashes like a phoenix from the flame! Yeah, I live in hope that mine does the same one day too.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 10, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      It will we have to have hope! What is parenthood without hope?

      Reply
  8. Natasha says

    October 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I loved reading this. The tinkerbell comment had me sniggering. It all rings a bell, except at 21 years old, and having been either pregnant or breastfeeding constantly since I was just 18 years old, my social life was DOA!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 10, 2010 at 4:30 pm

      Goodness me! well at least when it returns you will be young enough to enjoy it!

      Reply
  9. Kirsty Rice says

    October 10, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    Fabulous. I’m going to the fridge now to grab a glass of wine to toast the death of your social life.

    Love it.

    Kirsty

    Reply
  10. Teawithonesugarplease says

    October 10, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    My deepest sympathy – drinks are on me next time you head into W1 xxxx

    Reply
  11. andthenallithoughtaboutwasyou says

    October 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Love it, just love it, fantastic! xx

    Reply
  12. PhotoPuddle says

    October 12, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Ha ha. Fantastic! I don’t think your social life is dead though. Perhaps just in a coma so don’t go and bury it whatever you do!!!!

    Reply
  13. StephsTwoGirls says

    February 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    Oh so sad but true! Kids… Who’d have ’em, eh?! X

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      February 26, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      I miss my life! x

      Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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