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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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fright night

Halloween came early to our house as last night I awoke at midnight to howls of anguish and found myself drenched in blood.

So had casper come to play? Was freddy kruger waving his hand of steel? or had a wicked witch appeared to wreck havoc on the house?

Well…..

I had gone to bed at eleven after blogging about how twin boy and girl were failing to give me any blog inspiration. Baby beautiful had drank her last feed for the night and was settled down dreaming of milk clouds with Burt the Bunny. Twin boy and girl had been checked and re drugged to combat the colds so I knew I was guaranteed a good nights sleep. I had climbed into my lovely bed, quite possibly my favourite place on earth and had literally dropped off into a deep, soundless sleep.

However as I tuned out into the blissful sanctuary of slumber, someone in the house had clearly spat out their calpol and decided it was spooking time.

As quiet as a mouse he sat upright in bed, hearing the contended snores of his twin sister he gently climbed down the bunk bed ladder and padded over to the clock.

Now being only four and three quarters the clock is pretty useless as twin boy can’t tell the time. However in his infinite wisdom he looked at the jumble of numbers and presumed it must be seven o clock in a time zone somewhere so it must be time to get up.

Lacking his usual elephant footsteps twin boy wandered silently into mine and he who helped create them’s room. It was at this point that he who helped create them confessed that he woke up but decided to feign sleep so I would have to deal with the night wandering child. What he hadn’t realised was that I was sleeping as if tyson had delivered a knock out punch straight to my head. I was oblivious to all and everything.

Twin boy continued into my room, treading lightly past the drawers, easing quietly over the carpet until he bent down and placed his face a whisker from my nose, so his hot breath warmed my cheek and then he bellowed;

“Mummy is it waking up time?”

Christ alive! It was like twenty alarm clocks had gone off at once; I leapt up like someone had inserted a poker up my backside, my heart was pounding so fast it felt like it would explode through my chest. My reaction was perfectly reasonable for anyone torn so viciously from their contended sleep, I opened my mouth and screamed like I was being murdered.

Twin boy, terrified by my incessant screaming, joined me in screaming for his life whilst simultaneously leaping into my arms. He who helped create them started muttering expletives and suddenly as I finally rejoined the concious world I felt a sticky warmth flood over me as twin boys nose exploded for the second time that day.

Can you think of a better way to start the day?

(He’s fine by the way, just prone to mad nosebleeds! I on the other hand will never look at my bed as a source of calm and peace again)

Comments

  1. The Moiderer says

    October 27, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    I know these incidents are awful but thanks for making me laugh out loud again!

    Reply
  2. Liz Fielding says

    October 28, 2010 at 10:53 am

    You are having a bad week but no doubt boy twin will think twice before leaving his bed in the middle of the night in future. And I repeat, when are you going to write the Mad Mummy’s Handbook?

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 28, 2010 at 5:05 pm

      you want a book of this????

      Reply
  3. Dara says

    October 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    I’m pretty sure that I love you.
    Will that be okay with he who helped create them?
    Great post. Sorry about your night. I laugh because I commiserate. Take it from me: screaming is better than punching – not that I would have punched my kid when he woke me suddenly in the middle of the night as I was having nightmares about intruders. No sir. That would not have been me that did that.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 28, 2010 at 5:04 pm

      i love you too! lol

      Reply
  4. Alethea says

    October 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    I used to do that to my Mother when I was about that age . . . then when she’d recovered I’d tell her about the spiders or crocodile or other random creepy creatures had taken over my room forcing me to squat in hers.

    Or I’d lie on the floor next to her side of the bed and give her the fright of her life when she tried to put a foot out the next morning.

    Good times!

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 28, 2010 at 5:08 pm

      not for me – this ‘new thing’ will finish me off I’m sure!!

      Reply
  5. The Contented? Maybe says

    October 28, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    Oh dear. Not the best of awakenings! At least he gave you the inspiration you were wanting though 😉
    I had a similar experience last night. Drifted off listening to my hypnobirthing CD through headphones only to have sleep-talking husband hit me on the shoulder while yelling “I was trying to help you” just as the calm-voiced woman told me to imagine my birth canal was like putty. It was all a bit confusing.

    Reply
  6. LincolnAndMe says

    October 28, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Ah how I’ve longed to read posts like yours. I love you. And not just puppy love I heart you and your posts! Sorry, but that was so bloody funny.

    Keep em coming lovely!
    Mary (@LincolnAndMe)
    xXx

    Reply
  7. lizzyo22 says

    October 28, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    I knew I never watched horror films for a reason! You poor thing!….And now we’re all laughing at it! Very funny! Sorry!
    :-S

    Reply
  8. Pooky says

    October 29, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    I read this whilst feeding Lyra and laughed so hard, twice, that she disengaged. Painfully. But it was so worth it!

    Reply
  9. Simply Siskin says

    October 29, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    brilliant story so often you find yourself in a situation that is so bizarre you think you need to write it down, then you go back to sleep and forget what happened. Thanks for making me remember some memories, and hopefully you will sleep better tonight.

    Reply
    • janeblackmore says

      October 29, 2010 at 10:20 pm

      thabks laura

      Reply
  10. misslexywoo says

    October 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    brilliant. as usual.

    Reply

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Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

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