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The existence of God and the pressure to be funny

We have a seven minute drive to school.  Within those seven minutes I can be asked in excess of 100 questions.  We have had debates on the existence of God, we have spoken about why boys have willies and girls have ginas.  We have fought, some of the car’s occupants have pulled hair, we have all sang in joyous loud unison to Mr Brightside.

Some school runs are good, others can be plain bloody awful.

Today was interesting.

Twin Boy joined me in the much desired front seat.  Snapping his belt in with a smile he beamed at me with a smile full of intent.

“Mum” he questioned, before I even started the ignition. “Mum, can I read your blog?”

Whilst being momentarily taken aback by the request, I saw this as an opportunity to enjoy a more peaceful school run.  Twin Girl was reading Fantastic Mr Fox in the back and BB was drawing on her legs in Biro – it simply wasn’t worth the fight to tell her to stop.

“Ok,” I said, and before slamming the car into reverse and setting off for school, I brought up northernmum on the phone and found an appropriate piece.  I chose one about Portugal, no swearing, no pubic hair reference, perfectly safe.

Silence followed.

Four minutes later, Twin Boy looked up at me.

“Mum,” he questioned, “I thought you were supposed to be funny?”

Taken aback again, I responded “well, didn’t you think the bit about Grandad’s skin and the Iguna was funny?”

“No, it was just true,” he retorted.

“What about the bit about mummy being so pretty she could eat for free?” I stammered, feeling the pressure to be humorous.

“Not in the slightest Mum.”

“Oh,” I faltered.

“You know that award for ‘Laugh’ that you didn’t win Mum; I can see why now, your blog simply isn’t funny.”

Tomorrow, we will be back to discussing the existence of God.

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  1. Rhian @melbs says:

    Harsh! You make me laugh lovely (although not always intentionally ha ha)

  2. LOL! Well, are you going to try to be funnier for the sake of your son? :)
    I don’t think I want my children to read my blog yet, maybe in 5-8 years. They are still small and would not understand now …. luckily should I say?

  3. Blimey, sounds like you’ve got a tough crowd to please at home. Still, it’ll keep you on your toes. Don’t want you resting on your laurels (and your 95% genius) now do we?!

  4. tell him he needs to subscribe – eventually he will receive a post he finds funny.

  5. Loved it! Personally I would opened the passenger door and told Fantastic Mr Fox reader you’re swapping seats with your brother.

  6. Loved it! Personally I would opened the passenger door and told Fantastic Mr Fox reader you’re swapping seats with your brother.

  7. Ha! They sure tell it like it is don’t they? Tell him it’s sophisticated humour for adults….no I’m not convinced either ;)

  8. What pressure! This post is certainly funny.

  9. Sometimes children are not to be believed! You are so very funny Jane! I love twin boy’s responses, so honest and child like. Trust me when he looks back in years to come he will appreciate how funny you are (or his girlfriend will anyway)!

  10. You’ve got to write more about the ridiculous things your kids say. That’s ALWAYS funny ;)
    I expect you on it with a vengeance for next year’s Laugh category – clearly I have had my day now, because the kids never laugh at my blog either!

  11. Everyone’s a critic, and kids are a tough audience. Tell him to start his own blog!

    My kids think I’m funny. At least that’s their excuse for not taking me seriously, I think.

  12. Out of the mouths of babes eh? What a cool kid or maybe he was teasing?

  13. Oh dear! Sometimes a child’s mirror is the pitts! That level of honesty isn’t required…. well I think you are very funny! X.

  14. oo harsh!
    As a ‘slightly’ older reader I find your blog very funny : )

  15. Sounds like something E would say but then he only has a wicked sense of humour and this would be his idea of being funny ;) xx

  16. My son asked me the other day, ‘Mum why do you write a blog?’ I replied, ‘I like the challenge.’ ‘Who reads it?’ he asked. ‘Good question. Friends!’ I said. I too try and inject a few laughs in my posts. But reading other humourous blogs (like this one) is half the fun.

  17. Tough crowd!

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