Plaiting one’s pubes….

In recent years I have slightly misled my children. Avoiding the whole conversation about where babies come from and how they actually trundle down the birth canal has always been a focus of mine and he who helped create them.

When BB was born, twin girl was full of awkward questions but was easily fulfilled by a quick glimpse of the bandage on my stomach and was happily comforted in the knowledge that babies were simply lifted from your tummy and then a doctor glued you together again.

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she said what……

On Friday twin boy and girl will take to the stage to display their outstanding dramatic ability in a one off performance of “The Harvest.”

Living with two would be stars can be trying and myself and he who helped create them are trying to be supportive by ignoring the diva style tantrums and helping them learn their lines.

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What I meant to say was…..

So I really didn’t expect to win…

In fact had I in any way thought I might win I may have taken some time to consider what words would fall out of my mouth when presented with a microphone and I may have not enjoyed the free-flowing wine in as much volume before speaking into the said microphone.

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God, it’s your fault….

Dear God,

Quick question.

Free will, flipping genius idea, may have caused a few wars etc in the past but all in all it allows me to eat several pots of Ben and Jerrys in succession so no harm done.

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