It’s the dream..
To holiday in the UK when it’s hot…
This week – we are living that dream….
But behind all the sun kissed Instagram photos, the constant sweet smell of sun cream, and the dream of swimming in the sea without being wrapped in neophane – there lies a dark truth about holidaying in the sun in the UK.
Caravans are not equipped to deal with actual heat – the bathroom in ours is like a stinking sauna for mice. More than 4 minutes in there and you come out three stone lighter.
The heat puts the kids into a whole new state of uselessness. Emptying the bin is usually a solid ask four times chore. In the Cornish Caravan heat it’s at least eight and usually hits a maximum mum loses her shit crescendo before it is done.,,
The walk to the beach. Despite it being hotter than most of Europe, we still pack for every single weather occasion. Just in case those blue skies feck off mid morning. We are scarred from years of rubbish British
summers.
So, we take windbreaks for that refreshing breeze in the hope of blocking it entirely. Body boards for milk pond that is the ocean. Wet suits for sea that is a slowly becoming a natural hot spring. Food for days in case an apocalypse happens, but never enough water because that would stop the mid afternoon dehydration that the kids love to yell about. Paddle boards cos they are so in vogue, and then for the cherry on top of the cake – we shove it all in a £70 trolley that doesn’t really work on the sand.
The Europeans turn up with a towel, lie down, sunbathe, pay a £5 to hire a body board, play in the sea, pick up their towel, return their bodyboard and walk back to their accommodation without having to check the chiropractors availability for after the week away.
And we set up camps, massive circles on the beach- empty out bags, blow up inflatables, pump up boards, erect tents in case a monsoon appears. We pop up volleyboard nets, have rounders on standby – and when finally it is all ready – a kid somewhere announces they are bored or asks how long we are staying….
There is no rush to baggsie a sunbed by dawn, but instead you need to up and out of the house to snag a parking place that’s less than a mile to the sea. If you risk a sleep in past 8 on your jollies you accept you will have a five mile hike to beach base camp…
Wish you were here?
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