Happy Halloween.
A date many diabetic parents dread, especially those with children on injections.
We were diagnosed on Halloween, nine years ago. I remember the sad eyes of my other two children asking why we were being rushed into the hospital instead of shopping for costumes and sweets.
I remember thinking – we will never trick or treat again. How can we….
(We have trick or treated every year since – except as the teenage gene takes over, she now refuses to play out with me.)
Do we celebrate the “diaversary”?
Not any more – but we did.
But as we have harmonised more with the condition in our life, it seems a bit awkward to make a fuss out of the day our pancreas died.
But I get why people do, because we did.
And our kids need a fuss making out of them from time to time, don’t they.
9 years….
That is a long ass time without sleep. But I am so proud of where we are in life.
Diabetes can still be a dick.
But….
The difference is how I process it, the tools I have used to cope, and, helped my daughter to cope.
It doesn’t destroy us anymore.
It doesn’t dominate.
It doesn’t make me anxious or worried.
Nor does it her.
Time helped us heal, but so did a massive investment in myself – because when I am good, so are my children.
The secret?
Stop putting yourself last.
Stop saying how crap life is with Type 1.
Stop declaring your hatred of a medical condition – it simply does what it does.
As much as I wish I was, I am not a guru who can meditate for hours and have a measured approach to life approaching all situations with calm,
I’m a Yorkshire lass, with zero patience, a red hot temper at times, who swears like a sailor – who also meditates most days, just for a few minutes to find balance. Who actively works on their mindset, the same way I work on physical fitness. I journal, I read, I have created a network of support by asking for it, so I can have a break from Type 1 (and I have dealt with the internal guilt that that’s something my daughter can’t do.)
One day at a time, and relish the day, because tomorrow truly is a gift.
Nine years and my only slight regret is that I wish I had invested in myself sooner and not gone through as many years of anger – because it didn’t serve me.
I only hope reading this, helps you.
So we don’t celebrate the day, but I gave my kid an extra hug this morning, and tonight I’ll have a sneaky G&T – because I quite fancy it!
Jane x
P.S. My next Mindset Training course is almost sold out…
November 5th
9.30am
90 minutes – come and meet your tribe.
TICKETS HERE
15 months in for us. I hate it with a strength of passion I have never felt in hatred. I cry secretly every day and worry incessantly about my daughter’s future. I know she can achieve anything she wants. She is an absolute trooper. But the unfairness of this hand she’s been dealt is too much. Daisy is doing brilliantly. It’s not that she won’t let diabetes stop her, more like it doesn’t occur to her why on earth it should stop her. I wish I had her positivity. My first step forward out of this fog- 5th Nov, 930am. Kx
I cannot wait to meet you Kathy x