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Northern Mum

Crossfitting, pancreas acting, single mum to three

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Dear Type 1, Lets talk

Dear Type 1 Diabetes,

We need to talk.

I thought we had established some ground rules when you declared squatters rights and moved into my six year old almost three years ago.

I thought we had reached a compromise.

I got you the good shit you wanted.  And I fought for it,  I walked away from a bloody awesome career to ensure that you would have all you need to live in my girl and not hurt her.

You have an insulin pump to feed you every living second, and now I have a continuous glucose monitor to let me know when you need additional help controlling yourself.  It even alarms so I can never forget your existence.

Insulin Pump, Diabetes
I give you a decent amount of carbs daily, and sugar as a treat.

But it would seem it’s not quite good enough.

Either that or you are being a brat and simply don’t want to be controlled.

But that was the deal – you get to live in her and I get to control your existence.

The summer holidays I can almost understand, everyone wants to relax and take it easy and let off some steam.

This is why I didn’t complain when you held a party and sent her blood sugars racing and her moods irrational for two weeks.  I’ll admit to f’ing and blinding at you when you sent her so low she couldn’t  tell me her own name and struggled to stand.  That was a low blow and you scared me.

Summer holidays or not – you deserved every curse word that night.

shutterstock_165930575

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

You need to get back with the program.  School has started and I am tired of this crap.

What the feck was last night about?  It was a school day, work is full on, I need my sleep.  Even you must realise that we can’t go on when you send her bloods to 22 one hour and then crashing down to 2.3 then next.  I reckon I got about two hours kip between the sounds of the alarm of that sodding glucose moniter. I don’t think, judging by the paleness of her skin, my beautiful daughter fared that well either.

Hope you are enjoying her foul mood at school today….

I’m still too angry to talk to you properly and so tired I can barely formulate the words.

I am doing my bit, following the rules.  I know the carbs for everything, I test at night, I speak to school, ballet, gymnastics and drama, my local MP – everyone knows about you, you egotistical bastard.

And I’ll keep it that way, I’ll keep telling the world about you, raising awareness of who you are and what you do.  I’ll shout so loudly about you, my foul little friend, that everyone will know the signs of your arrival in their child, the tiredness, the thirst, the weight loss and the need to go to the toilet excessively.  I’ll share with people how to appease you so you live a long happy life in the body you target.

But you need to let me sleep, I could go to Tenerife on Easyjet and not pay for hold luggage with the bags under my eyes.

Let me sleep, let her sleep, and sit within normal range – just for a bit.  I can’t scream about your difference to your sibling Type 2 if you won’t let me sleep.

And you know how you hate being confused with him; how mad it drives you when he gets all the limelight.  Even Jamie bloody Oliver has a show about sugar and it is all about Type 2 my friend, not you.  We are only going to get on the telly if you let me fecking sleep.  The NHS spend a fortune on Diabetic care matey boy, and it is all about him, Type 2.  Let me sleep and I’ll raise hell about the postcode lottery that impacts Type 1 diabetes, I’ll stomp my feet for more funding, for better education on Type 1, for more equal care.

But please, let me sleep.

Yours sincerely,

The mother of a Type 1 Warrior

Comments

  1. Colette B says

    September 8, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    My Mum has been Type 1 for almost 35 years now – I know how hard it can be to keep her sugars settled, I can’t even imagine what it must be like trying to do that in a child. I hope you all get some rest soon x

    Reply
  2. Trish says

    September 8, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    I haven’t been over here to comment for ages, Jane, but this was so powerful I couldn’t just read and leave.
    The agonies you and others parents must endure, constantly watchful and anxious about your children, is something I can’t begin to understand.
    I read about your daughter and others with Type 1 diabetes and I am amazed at how they cope – but, of course, until there is a cure, they have no choice.
    Hope you get some rest xx

    Reply
  3. Harriet says

    September 8, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    Oh Jane! This made me feel really emotional. I hope you get your sleep, and I hope you’re lovely little girl gets a break from the asshole that inhabits. H x

    Reply
  4. Complicated Gorgeousness says

    September 9, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    This is an excellent post that sums it all up. I am a medical journalist and yes Type 2 does get all the best press while Type 1 dangerously goes about its business. I am commissioning more Type 1 articles for my journal now as we speak. Thanks for the reminder. Hope she gets back under control soon xx

    Reply
  5. Rebecca M says

    September 9, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    Thank you, only other parents of type 1’s truly ‘get it’. Big hugs to you both.

    Reply
  6. Notmyyearoff says

    September 10, 2015 at 5:29 am

    Fab post Jane. I only have gestational diabetes, hopefully temporarily, and I struggle with that some days. The extreme from 22 to 2 is scary and I hope you don’t get that again. Xx

    Reply
  7. Sue Bundgaard says

    September 10, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    I am mum to a T1 warrior too… had a bad night last night so struggled to park my car just now – brain just wouldn’t work out how to steer! With sleep, I’m a great driver!! T1 is so relentless.

    Reply
  8. Rachelradiostar says

    September 11, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    I’ve just passed your blog to my friend as her 8 yo was diagnosed just last week. Diabetes is just a twat. Your girl ( and you ) are just amazing. Bloody life is shit innit.

    Reply
  9. Rachelradiostar says

    September 11, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    I’ve just passed your blog to my friend as her 8 yo was diagnosed just last week. Diabetes is just a twat. Your girl ( and you ) are just amazing. Bloody life is shit innit. Your blog is the direct opposite! Beautiful photos

    Reply
  10. A Cornish Mum says

    September 12, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    Type 1 likes to keep you on your toes doesn’t it?! My son Fin has had it for over 6 years now since he was 5, he refuses to have a pump though!
    I think the first thing you have to accept about Type 1 is that you will never 100% control it there’s too many variables, but we do the best we can.
    Stevie xx

    Reply
  11. Andrea says

    September 9, 2016 at 6:13 am

    Brilliant just brilliant and as a mum of another Type 1, I totally get where you are coming from. Unfortunately he’s now a teen and won’t wear CGM any longer so we are back in the dark ages with just pricks……and like you I just need to sleep!!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Tots Good Reads #2 | Tots 100 says:
    September 18, 2015 at 8:01 am

    […] from Northern Mum is no stranger to Tots100, we love her blog and posts, but this one ‘Dear Type 1, Lets talk’  in which she pens a letter to diabetes which her daughter suffers with, is a thought provoking […]

    Reply

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