My open jaw must have shown my confusion at his question. If not that, then my furrowed brow could have been an indicator. Or maybe even my snort of sheer amusement could have been a clue.
I wasn’t quite prepared for the question from my banker this morning.
The conversation began during a review of my finances, the question of dependants arose and then subsequently came the question….
“Twins, wow, was it hard work?”
As a mum of multiples I always struggle to answer this one. Clearly swelling up to at least three times your normal weight in pregnancy and vomiting daily is a challenge. Then having two babies suddenly appear in your life coupled with the knowledge that they will simply perish if not fed and loved at every second is a new experience which some would describe as a bit of a feat.
Plus the fact that my breasts went into superdrive and produced enough milk for a nation, causing the bed that I slept in for around an hour a night to become soaked in a way only a toddler in training could replicate.
And of course, there was the whole two babies crying, two lots of weaning to be done, and two lots of nappies to change.
And let’s not forget about the dressing and changing in duplicate.
And of course the complete absence of sleep….
But as I said before, I do struggle with how to answer the question of was it hard…
Mainly because I want to fall to the floor weeping at their feet, crying ‘oh course it was hard you dingbat, one is troublesome, two can be nigh on impossible. My breasts are ruined, my stomach fecked through pregnancy, I am still trying to catch up on sleep. It was hard, thanks for reminding me, let’s talk about my dog dying now, again, yes it was hard.’
My English nature prevents me from telling the cold hard truth and revealing the questioner for the fool they are. So instead I shrugged and said,
“Oh it was ok…”
Then the next question floored me.
My banker leaned over the desk, an excited glint in his eye. He rubbed his hands nervously,
“I’ve always wanted to ask a twin mum,” he said, “were they born at the same time, or is one older…”
Cue the slack jaw moment.
I mean really how big did this chap think my love spot was? The twins weighed in at 13lb 7oz collectively, did he genuinely believe they sat at the top of the birth canal, linked their umbilical cords and tried to slide down as one?
I appreciate the twins birth ended in a c section, however I have yet to meet a surgeon who locates one twin in the bloody womb then hunts for the other to grab and yank out at the exact same time…
Although that could explain why I have had such limited bladder capacity since the twins were born…
I couldn’t answer the question, it disproved the theory of there is no such thing as a stupid question.
I am sure it will come as no surprise that he later asked if my girl/boy twins were identical…
Identical male\female twins who zoom down the birth canal, through the love hole at the exact same moment.
Anyone heard of those?