The female version of Bigfoot (Hairy Mumma)

You always know when you start the day finding a new hair sprouting from your neck area that it is not going to be the best of days.

That was today.

However I chose to ignore the fact that my eyebrows now start halfway down my increasingly wrinkling neck and I reached into my handbag, grabbed a pair of tweezers that I keep handy for occasions such as this and I ripped out the offending stray thread and continued upon my day.

Several times my good mood was threatened my thoughts of how long the hair had been protruding from my neck, but I blinked them away.  I was almost knocked down when I thought of the in-depth conversation I had with the children’s teacher the day before – she had seemed a little distracted – was that because she was worried the hair flowing from my neck was going to try and ensnare her?  Was she resisting all urges just to seize it and pull it out.  Or was she just mortified that she is teacher to children of the female version of Bigfoot.

But as I said, I carried on regardless, trying to ignore the memory of what had been growing freely and wildly from my neck until I wrenched it out and tossed it away into the floods without a moment of remorse.

However, I have spent most of the day stroking my chin and neck wisely just to check there are no more hairy feckers trying to push out from their roots….

Today was a gym day.

So BB and I headed into the reception area, she was destined for the crèche, and I, the pool.  As we arrived a huge gush of wind caught us at the door and blew us inside with a bang, causing the door to slam me in the rump and toss the contents of my bag to the floor.

Kindly, several reception ladies rushed to help and BB also threw herself into the action.

Moments later my bag and its contents were reunited and I continued in the direction of the crèche.

Then I heard,

“Ooooh, stop, stop, hang on.”

One of the lovely reception ladies jogged towards me, ‘we almost missed your tweezers, they fell under the plant pot.”

BB jerked her head up, and as my head realised what she was about to do my heart dropped to my boots.

“They are not tweezers,” she informed the lovely reception lady in remarkably clear BB tones, “they are what Mummy uses to get rid of her huge hairs from her chin and neck, she got a good one this morning.”

The lovely receptionist lady looked at the tweezers as if hairiness was contagious and she dropped them into my hand without a word.

Just another day in paradise!

 

It is that time again – the nomination stage for the MAD Blog Awards is open and I would be delighted if you liked this blog enough to vote for it.  It is an easy process, simply click the link and nominate northernmum for any categories you think it deserves to win.    The link is here.

Thanks