Postcards from Portugal: Triumph over a seven year old boy

May 22nd

Dear Mr Postman,

Hope all is well in Blighty, I have not seen a paper since Friday and internet is banned partly due to this being family time and mainly because the roaming charges are similar to cost of the holiday.

Last night was fun, kids had their faces painted, twin boy was a tiger and BB a butterfly.  Twin girl declined the pleasure of covering her face in gloop and hopefully long may that continue.  The free white wine flowed again, in fact he who helped create them could argue it flowed a little too freely.  At one point Mr P I was up with the kids on the mini disco dance floor strutting my stuff.  I still have the moves, BB told me so and we all know toddlers speak the truth.

This morning I pushed my sore head to one side at 8am when BB yelled me from her camp bed.  Why is it Mr P the kids are going to bed at least three hours later than usual but they are only waking one hour later? 8am does not constitute a lay in.

Breakfast was the usual mesh of fried food and cereal.  I gave myself a weight watchers style pat on the back for only eating the one bowl of cereal and a couple of bits of toast.  Eating the bacon scraps of the kids meals and sampling he who helped create them’s roll doesn’t count, right Mr P?

Today has been full of nothing, just five sun-loungers, one dingy, a pool and a toddler.

So far I have taught her to play snap, I obviously went easy on her, we had an endearing moment when I showed her the basics of the game and she placed a six on a six,  I asked the little poppet “what do you say?”, and she quickly retorted “Thank you mummy.”.

Adorable eh Mr P.

I still gave her the cards even though she didn’t really call Snap and it would have been well within the game rules to have claimed the win with a quick call of Snap.

We have been proper joiner inners Mr P, well, you have to show willing for the kids.  He who helped create them took twin boy to play killer darts with the poolside entertainers, he who helped create them won.  Later in the day they faced a rematch on bean bag boules.  It was tense Mr P, you would have paused on your round to watch the show down.  BB, twin girl and I were knocked out early doors, my aim was off Mr P, I blame the white wine from last night.

He who helped create them took no prisoners and smashed the bean bag home to claim glory over his seven year old boy.

I am still working up the nerve to get in the pool Mr P, it is like an ice bath, the kids are kitted out in wet suits like they were in Cornwall.  Portugal needs to invest in heated pools, I do hate being chilly.

So I will sign off for today, rounders is up next and we are off to a water park tomorrow.

I forgot to mention, it is BB’s birthday on Monday so we may be getting packages, can you tuck them out of sight as I don’t need the whole street knowing we are in the Algarve.

See you soon Mr P. We will be home this time next week 🙁

Love Jane (and the gang) x x x

 

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