How a skinful leads to Agadoo (More postcards from Portugal)

The latest postcard written from a beach in Portugal when the sun was shining and the wine was flowing…..

May 23rd

Dear Mr Postman,

Hola!

Well would you believe it, the weather has turned and it is glorious.  The sun sits high in the sky unencumbered by clouds and the wind has fallen silent.  It is heavenly.

Last night saw a return to the all inclusive cheap plonk.  I did try to steer clear Mr P but it would seem my willpower is lacking.  Plus BB climbs into my bed every morning and tells me she loves boobie milk and wants it back.  At least if I have had a skinful the night before I can resist her plantative cries.

By the way Mr P, I hope you know a skinful means a couple of glasses nowadays, my drinking skills ain’t what they used to be.

Dinner last night was roast lamb, the night before was roast beef and tonight is roast gammon.  Now I am a Yorkshire lass and I love a good meat and two veg, but even my stomach is starting to clench when I see a carving knife.  We have decided to ‘eat out’ tonight Mr P, this is slowly killing he who helped create them as the concept of ‘paying twice’ hurts him.  But what would you do? Ten days of roast dinners without a gap is a little extreme.

The other curse of being all inclusive is the random meals you make yourself.  Last night moving along the buffet line I added roast lamb, potato croquettes, rice and a chicken wing to my plate and then added a couple of tomatoes to add in some healthiness.  As I sat down to eat I could almost hear my mother questioning what in Gods name I was eating.

Anyways I digress again Mr P, sorry, I am terrible for doing that.

So we hit the sack about eleven last night, BB fell asleep in the buggy about ten with a face full of Hello Kitty make up.  I let her sleep with the face paint on, if she suffers acne in her teens I will blame myself.  We had a random moment when he who helped create them and I found ourselves on the mini stage with the entertainment team dancing to Agadoo.  I will confess Mr P, it was a low moment for me but the kids think we are awesome.  What we do to keep them happy.

And today, well today I am writing to you from ‘Splish and Splash’, can you guess what that is?

Damn right, we are at a water park somewhere in Portugal – I am not exactly sure where as we just hopped on a bus and it dropped us at the gate.  The kids are fearless, if it looks like a slide they are on it in seconds.  Even BB is fighting to leave the baby pool and hit the big wave rides.

I have got to be honest Mr P, I am having a ball, I literally wee myself (am sure everyone goes in the pool) with fear when I get on the slide but I still adore the feeling of zooming down the slide and crashing under the crystal pool of water.  The kids are happy, he who helped create them is in his element and the sun is shining.  Why can’t this be life Mr P? It beats working for a living.

Well I am off to ride the tornado.

Hope all is well back home and if that speeding ticket has turned up can you try and ‘lose’ it for me.

Love,

Jane (and the gang)

Xxxx

To read more Postcards From Portugal check out these post’s:

Day One: Needles and Vino

Day Two: Raining on our parade

Day three: Thongs and arse cracks

Day four: Beating the kids

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