At night I am a boy band girl

by

Dear Robbie,

It is almost like we grew up together.  I was never a Gary girl or a Mark fan.  For me, it was always you, even when you had that daft peroxide hair. In my teenage years I suffered heavily with angst.  My music tastes fell into more indie styles.  I fretted over the loss of Richey James, I recited the poetry of Suede.  I dressed my body is long skirts and heavy jumpers.  I would have cloaked my eye lids in eye liner, but I have never really got the hang of liner.

You were my dirty little secret.  Through the day I was grunge, at night I was a boy band girl.  I would listen to you on my white hi-fi or through my walk man headphones.  I had a poster of you secreted behind my wardrobe door.

When you left the band, others wept and I rejoiced.  Finally my two worlds started to collide.  You started turning up at festivals, you became slightly more alternative.

Then the drug years followed. Hmmmm.

Didn’t really do you any favours fella, as my mum pointed out, you got a bit podgy, looked a bit dull, sounded quite dim.

I prefer you off the Class A substances.

But I still stuck by you.

Then I got married Robbie, I’m sorry.  But how many more years could I stand in the crowd waiting for you to see me?  When I met my husband he seduced me on the dance floor to Rock DJ and I fell, hard.

There is a resemblance though. Well, he is tall, dark and doesn’t have a great singing voice either.

Last night, we both came to see you.  I panicked that this may be the night your eyes found mine in the crowd and I would have to choose between my two men.

So I stayed at the back Robbie, where you wouldn’t be able to see me. We both have kids now, it is not the right time.

You were awesome, a little narcissistic in places.  I am not sure about the need to cover the stage with models of your head.  You didn’t sing the song that my husband and I danced to for our first dance on our wedding day.  I took this as a sign that you understood I was taken now.

At the risk of sounding motherly, the weight is creeping back on.  I hope this is because of your new job as a father, rather than any substance abuse.

I don’t know when I will see you again. But am sure it will be awesome when I do.

Take care, stay clean and dry.

Love

Your number one fan.

 

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36 thoughts on “At night I am a boy band girl”

  1. I’m so jealous you went to see him! So jealous! And I love your letter to Robbie! I was always a Robbie girls too 🙂

  2. I used to love him when I was at school. He was my favourite from the whole band and I remember the whole peroxide stage well (and the not so great cover of “freedom”). Hope you had a brilliant night!

  3. My little girl saw me opening the envelope when the tickets arrived a few weeks back. I whooped – she enquired. “I’m going to a concert, darling” “Can I come too?” “Nope, this is one for the grown-ups, I’m afraid”. And it was, and I loved every second. The wit, the not-taking-himself-too-seriously, the grinding, the self-assuredness. I looked up to the sky as 68,000 people sang ‘And I just wanna feel, real love, feel the love that I’m living…’ and reminded myself of the good-fortune-in-the-moment-ness that comes from being in the right place, at the right time. Nice post!

  4. Fabulous post! Robbie was never my favourite in TT but when he left I found a new love for him and went to see him at Knebworth – so jealous you have been this time around I would have loved to have seen him again!

  6. Awesome post, very funny! I was a massive Robbie fan until he went off the rails with Candy so to speak. I had him at my wedding – not actually him, one of his songs 🙂

  7. I was never really into TT when they were the ‘in thang’ but the Robster’s solo stuff is fab. Glad you had a fun night – clearly he realised that it wasn’t to be. I’m sure he’s gutted though.

  8. I remember when he left the band the newspaper I worked for wanted me to do a story on the helpline that had been set up in Germany for suicidal fans. I had to pretend to be a distraught teenager on the line to this nice German counsellor who was very supportive of my grief until it began to dawn on him that all was not as it seemed probably, because I twice got Robbie’s name wrong, despite having it written on a post-it to remind me.

  9. “grunge” ???!!! photos – come on this is a comedy blog please share.
    Am also thinking ‘crazed stalker’ but am sure many of the women at the concert on Saturday had similar thoughts about Robbie.

  10. Fabulous! Glad you had a good time! I was never a TT fan, preferring Nirvana and The Cure and the like (I did like Suede though!). If only I hadn’t got the hang of that eye liner! 😀

  11. Awesome post, brilliant blog.

    I saw Robbie when he was in South Africa. My big sister and I made Robbie T-shirts, never sat in our seats once, pissed the people off who were standing behind us and lost our voices for a couple of days. It Rocked!

  12. I was never a Take That fan the first time round – way too into my dance and indie music – but Angels is one of my all time favourite songs EVER, right up there with Massive Attack Unfinished Sympathy. My friend used to work for RW, so I got to see him at Knebworth and I have to say he is a brilliant entertainer – totes agree on the narcissistic streak, but then that’s part of what makes him so watchable!!

  13. lol, great post! Hope you enjoyed the gig. I saw RW at V Festival in 1998 (or thereabouts!) he was rock and roll, definitely an entertainer.

  14. I’m impressed you managed to get the other half to go with you – the NLM ended up making me see Take That with his mum when we got tickets! x

  16. This made me smile as a fellow indie kid who had a thing for pop music on the quiet! Didn’t see Robbie this time, but have seen him a few times over the years, including 1997 when he first went solo! I’m sure he would have wanted you if he’d seen you, but , like you say, for the best considering you’re both parents now!

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