How to feel good about yourself

Twin boy, girl and I have been trying to understand feelings this afternoon. 

 They seem to have a grasp on it as twin boy likes to express his vocally at any given moment and is prone to Oscar winning performances over the tiniest thing. A refusal of a biscuit before teatime can lead to dramatic swoons followed by Oscar winning hysterics and heartrending pleas.

  Twin girl on the other hand is excellent at crushing feelings in the same way one would crush a bee underfoot after it had stung you. I discovered this fact when I collected her from school today and refused her request to go to the park.  When she realized I was standing firm she declared I was a meanie and said she wished she had a different mummy. 

 My first reaction was to retaliate playground style and recant to her the effort and pain it took getting her and her brother into the world, however I managed to bite my tongue and chose to handle the situation grown-up style by using this comment as a means to explain how you can hurt people’s feelings. 

It went a little something like this:

Mummy: How do you feel when mummy shouts at you?

(Please note I have three children it would be ridiculous to pretend I don’t shout on a regular basis)

TG:      I don’t like it it makes me sad 

Mummy: how do you think mummy feels when you say you want a new mummy? 

(I wait expectantly for the connection to be made and the penny to drop and the sorry to follow)

 TG:      Well mummy, I wouldn’t want a new mummy if your tummy was small, but your tummy is big and I don’t like it so I want a mummy with a small tummy, yours is squishy, will it be small again ever, why is it so big? 

Now mummy fully understands her feelings and they are stinging.

 Weightwatchers on Saturday then!