I am slowly going bankrupt, I have twin school age children and their sodding teeth are falling out on a weekly basis. Twin girl was the first to lose a body part and I manage to overcome my disgust and play the role of the tooth fairy with flair and dramatic flourish. The Pinot I had consumed that evening certainly helped my theatrical performance as I silently crept into Twin Girls room … [Read more...]
Oct 21, 2012
Why parenting is a totally unrewarding job or what the little b*stards did next…..
By · 44 Comments
Today was meant to be all about the kids, real quality family time, things they would remember fondly for years to come. It started off well, BB, in her excitement at a day with mummy, leapt out of bed with an excited squeal at 5:22am and by 6.30am she had managed to cajole the twins out of bed so they could all wreak havoc together. He who helped create them was inflicted with a coma like … [Read more...]
Oct 2, 2012
letting down my daughter…. one mothers parental shame…
By · 20 Comments
To my eldest girl, When you were born I held you like china, terrified you would break but at the same time fiercely aware that I would rip skin from bone of anyone who tried to harm you. I swore to you, as I have to all my children, that I would do my best as a parent, I would try my hardest and I would never let you down. I balls up the last one today. We have known about your dance … [Read more...]
Sep 25, 2012
Parenting: When you get pee on your arse….
By · 30 Comments
And so it begins, The blatent beep of the alarm sounds at six thirty and I ignore, already wide awake with a child in my arms who awoke at five but yet I am still reluctant to crawl from my bed and to start the day. The door flies open and crashes into the wall and two squabbling six year olds fall into the room, unaware that it is really still the middle of the night they start to regale me … [Read more...]
Sep 22, 2012
I am not ready ~ Northernmum
By · 26 Comments
I blinked and suddenly the store windows had changed, maxi dresses and tiny shorts had been ripped from view and knit wear and cords were hanging from the faceless mannequins. I stood on the high street staring at the rows of shops feeling as if I had been pick pocketed. It was almost as if a stranger had silently reached into my jeans pockets and stolen summer whilst I decided which shirt to … [Read more...]
Sep 4, 2012
and b*llocks was my response….. ~ northernmum
By · 8 Comments
Picture this... Its hot in the city, the pavements sizzle in the enjoyment of the rare glare of sunshine. The five of us walk through the streets of London shouting with glee everytime we spot a Wenlock and knocking down tourists in order to get the obligatory photo. Together we have strolled almost three miles, delighting in killing time in our capital city. We bounced into St Pauls and … [Read more...]
Sep 3, 2012
I am an exceptional parent
By · 18 Comments
Given the right children I firmly believe I could be an exceptional parent. I have read a multitude of books on how to be a fabulous mother and have the theory pretty much bang on. I know to blame the behaviour not the child and in theory I can understand how this works but when my eldest offspring is found experimenting with what floats in the toilet bowl I can't help but think I have given … [Read more...]
Aug 23, 2012
Blogging: When a review goes wrong….
By · 15 Comments
Writing this blog has given me some fantastic opportunities to take the kids on fabulous day’s outs, like this weekend’s trip to Lollibop; and some opportunities to stay away from home like next week’s trip to Trevella and this weekend’s stay in the new Premier Inn at the Tate in London. Sometimes a review can go wrong.... Take this weekend, myself, he who helped create them and our … [Read more...]
Aug 22, 2012
Ways to know the summer holidays are coming to an end….
By · 13 Comments
There is little paintwork in the house that doesn't have a handprint or crayoning on it. Your bin is overflowing with the hair you have yanked from your head. The remaining strands of hair on your head have turned a silvery grey. The carpet has turned from beige to a medley of colours from the play doh that has been embedded within … [Read more...]
Aug 5, 2012
When your fake busom lands on the platform floor
By · 22 Comments
Imagine the moment... It's 11am, you have snatched four minutes sleep in the last twenty four hours. You are currently dressed in something resembling clothes but the posset stains and general creasedness of the outfit means the black M&S stretchy jersey dress can also double up as a bin liner. The double buggy, which took almost an hour to construct at 4am this morning when walking the … [Read more...]
